Discontinuity

 

Sam the fireman finished his breakfast, slid down the pole and jumped on his scooter, arriving at the burning building just in time to join the rest of his crew in dousing the flames.

 

"About time!" said the captain. "What you been doing, catching up on Game of Thrones?"

 

PC Sam Slivers shrugged, exited his vehicle and ambled towards the crime scene.

 

"What have we got here, sir?" said PC Shivers to his supervisor.

 

Inspector Salad handed PC Withers a piece of paper.

 

"Clear case of hit and run," said Ballad. "Only thing is, we don't know which fucker hit who."

 

"Mind your language, sir," said Snithers. "Children present."

 

"Where?" said Bullard.

 

"Everywhere, sir," said Dithers. "This is a school."

 

"How could I forget?" said Dullard. "Buggers don't know which side their bread is buttered."

 

"Sir! Sir!" said one of the little buggers, as he came running up the corridor to Mr Dullard. "Josh has got his head stuck in the toilet!"

 

Mr Dullard did a double take. "What makes you think I work here?" he said.

 

"You are the headmaster."

 

"What gives you that impression?"

 

"The spanner and utility belt."

 

"I'm just off to a fancy dress party."

 

"So do you know any then?"

 

"What?"

 

"Plumbers."

 

"On a spaceship?"

 

"Did I say 'plumbers'? I meant 'quantum wormhole engineers'."

 

"Sorry, no - try the cafe."

 

"Thanks."

 

Kylie the Kangaroo bounded over to the beach.

 

"G'day Kylie!" said Wally the Wallaby. "Fancy a shrimp?"

 

"No thanks, Wally, I had one last week."

 

"No worries" - Wally packed up the barbecue, put it in his rucksack and abseiled fifty floors down to the ground.

 

"Watch out!" said the cabbie. "My insurance doesn't cover flying mammals!"

 

But Wile E just leapt in and told the cabbie to "follow that roadrunner!"