The Field

1.

"What a lovely field!" said Larry.

"Indeed it is!" said Mick.

"Have you got the thing?" said Larry.

"What thing?" said Mick.

"The thing," clarified Larry.

"Oh yes," said Mick.

Mick got out the thing - which is to say, he opened the large box he had been carrying and pulled out what looked like a frisbee on the end of a long stick.

"Isn't that just a frisbee on the end of a long stick?" said Larry.

"All is not what it seems, Master Larry."

"Y'what?"

"Look closer."

Larry looked closer. The frisbee appeared to be attached to the long stick with a wire.

"Isn't that just a frisbee attached to a long stick with a wire?"

"Look closer still."

Larry did so. Scribbled on the side of the stick with a pencil were the words...

LIE DETECTOR 3000

"Ah," said Larry - and all became clear (sort of).

2.

Mick "swept" the field with the Lie Detector 3000, brandishing it, as you might have guessed, like a metal detector.

Larry whistled the theme tune to The Great Escape, followed swiftly by Raiders of the Lost Ark.

After about 7.5 minutes, Larry said, "Don't you need some kind of headphones?"

"You're not as green as you're cabbage-looking!" said Mick, who pulled out what looked like two jam jar lids attached with a coat hanger and plonked it on his head.

"Where did you get that from?" said Larry.

"Never you mind," said Mick, and continued "sweeping."

Larry hummed the theme tune to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

3.

"Found one!" said Mick. "Got a spade?"

"Bugger," said Larry.

"Never mind," said Mick, who pulled a JCB out of his ear.

"Oh c'mon!" said Larry.

"Not really!" said Mick, who put away the non-existent JCB and extracted a spade from his pocket.

"Here you go," said Mick.

"Thanks, Mick," said Larry.

4.

Larry dug.

Mick watched.

A cloud passed over the sun.

"I need a wee," said Larry.

"Never mind that," said Mick. "Keep digging!"

"Bah humbug," Larry might have said, but he didn't, because he wasn't a character in a Dickens story.

Larry hit something with his spade.

"What is it?" said Mick.

"A rock," said Larry.

"Dig it up!" said Mick.

Larry grumbled, but did as he was bid.

Larry examined the rock.

"I am a brick," said the rock.

"Put it in your bag," said Mick.

Larry did so.

Larry and Mick continued to "sweep" (as it were) the field.

[ fin ]