Larry and Mick Wander Unwittingly Onto an Online Forum
By pepsoid
- 1452 reads
'Larry?'
'Yes, Mick?'
'We seem to have wandered unwittingly onto an online forum.'
'Jangling Jehosephat's Jockstrap, Mick, you're right!'
'I know I am, Larry.'
'Since we're here, then, shall we have a look around?'
'Why the Shrek not!'
Larry and Mick had a look around.
'Hmm,' said Larry.
'What is it, Larry?' said Mick.
'Well,' said Larry; 'the particular thread in which we find ourselves appears to have been entitled, by its originator, "Passive Resistance".'
'"Passive Resistance"?' said Mick.
'"Passive Resistance",' said Larry. 'And it goes on to suggest that the members of the forum should not fight, rise to or indeed pay any attention whatsoever to, and I quote,"pointless insults, negativity and hurtful intent".'
'That's all well and good,' said Mick; 'but isn't it akin to the head-in-sand technique, as employed by a particular species of bird of flightless aspect?'
'You mean an ostrich, friend Mick?'
'I mean an ostrich, friend Larry.'
'Well not really, friend Mick' (sayeth Mr Lampshade) 'for the author then goes on to clarify (and I am paraphrasing here) that he or she is not advocating the ignoring of intelligent, considered discourse, but merely the kind of exchange whose content may be more appropriately situated within a playground-like context.'
'Ahh,' said Mick. 'You mean an exchange such as the following¦ 'Ere, y'git, why don't you just fook off'n stop annoying us with your pointless prattle?... Ahh, put a sock in it, tosser, before I insert something blunt'n'painful into yer piehole... I'd like to see you try, y'fuckwit... Ahh, crawl back to yer shitpile, y'nob...'
'Yes, that kind of thing,' said Larry.
'Thank you for explaining that to me,' said Mick.
'No problem, friend Mick,' said Larry. 'Shall we have a cup of tea?'
'Nahh, I'm bored of tea,' said Mick. 'How about a Horlicks?'
'And a celery stick each with a pot of pepper-topped hummus?'
'Why the--'
--but Larry inflicted a nominal portion of violence upon Mick's person before Mick could utter a clichéd and over-used phrase.
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