She Stood

To Rebecca the very essence of the room was one of reverence. Hers was the fifth seat in a series of twelve wooden pews ordered along the back half of it. She looked at the people occupying the rest of the benches. Each one looked uncomfortable in the clothing they had worn to impress. It was as though by trying so hard they had only succeeded in appearing finely shabby. Some wore expressions of humility on their faces as if preparing to confess; While on others the tilt of their chin belied their denial of any transgression. Rebecca struggled to maintain the outward appearance of the latter but only felt the shameful sting of the former.
The front half was peopled by men and women who went about their morning rituals. They chatted with each other about trivialities the way only those with light consciences are able to. The man at the desk in the middle of the room had a stern look set upon a kind face as he asked those lined up before him their names, checking them off of his list as they answered him. Everyone who spoke did so in the hushed tones used by subjects awaiting the commands of a lord. Finally, the man left his desk and exited out the back and quickly reentered followed by a woman in a long, flowing, black robe. "All rise for the honorable Judge Mountjoye," said the man from the desk.
As they were told to be seated Rebecca could only think about how her future was held by this woman perched on the raised dais. She had, of course, been allowed her own choices and had made the ones that brought her to the pew in this room. Still, it didn't seem fair that another would suffer as well. One by one, individuals stood and then left the courtroom as the pounding of the gavel marked the time drawing her closer to the moment when the state would decide what would happen.
She thought of the past and remembered the fights with her fiance once she became pregnant and the monotonous sound of his voice as he explained the situation as he saw it. She could remain in the relationship that had always promised happiness up until now or she could abandon him for another. She half-hoped he'd reconsider but knew he never would and both of them walked away, believing themselves abandoned by the other. She recalled the way Liam's hair had felt like a newly-hatched chicks feathers as she rubbed it between her fingers, her heart awash in new emotions. Then the change in emotions when she was told of the mental deficiency of her child which, she was assured, had been by chance and no fault of her own. She remembered her initial determination to provide for him a normal life and her eventual despair at the realization this meant he would need a live-in nurse; which she could never afford. It was a bittersweet miracle to finally get Liam into the private care facility two hours away. Finally, she relived the shame she felt that night after walking home from her double shift at the cafe, the first time a truck had pulled over-its driver asking her how much and would she mind keeping the uniform on because, he explained, that got him hot. She thought of the irony of the charge she had eventually received: solicitation, which implied she had sought this life out.
The sound of the gavel pounding brought her out of the past and she realized all of her blood had occupied her cheeks. "Rebecca Sims," the judge announced. As she stood her legs were almost overcome by the urge to flee this place and these people who could never understand her. But she only stood.