Changing Lanes on the Middleway - Poetry Monthly

Cherry

By Philip Sidney

Sun, 14 Jan 2018
  • 2500 reads
11 comments
 

January greys of sky and road wrapround -
dull the drone of traffic alerts flickering across channels
leaking: snap-trap-hiphop-K-pop-deepfunk-northernsoul-hardcore-sadcore-

‘till a speaking voice bites a chunk of air to spit news that this very slice of road
we - in our slow-bound-stop-start vehicles - shuffle over now -
on the upper ribbon of Birmingham’s Gordian knot -

exactly here -
as the browning flowers
tied to a rusting rail mark -

has been poorly designed -
having no crash barrier to soften the blow of
automobiles sliding into the wrong lane -

the hard shoulder shrugs -
intimate motorists eye each other - wonder if it’s too late
to change.

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Mark Say on

I like the oblique approach to conveying a sense of doom.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Mark

and thanks for the cherries too.  smiley

See you at the reading!

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Brilliant, Philip Sidney. Dry as desert dust. Rewarded by turning my phone on its side to get the intended format. I love the browning flowers (Browning flowers :)). Very nice read. Thanks for the interlude. Safe journeys.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks PT. Stay safe on your travels too.smiley

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Trying. X

Parson Thru

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I like how you show the gabbly sound of the radio and then change rhythm for the announcement cutting through about the road not being safe, and the shock shown by the shortness of "exactly here". It's strange how you are sort of intimate in traffic jams, but in a bubble unlike on the tube you have the illusion of being in control.

My favourite traffic jam was coming back from holiday when Live Aid was happening. Everyone was listening to it, with the windows open. It was frustrating not to be able to see it but exciting so many people tuned in to the same positive thing

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Very well conveyed. My main memory of a traffic jam, was not one that had danger, but the relief that for once we hadn't our children with us, and why not just enjoy the extra time with just the two of us! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Exceptional writing with vivid descriptions of a risky journey on the labyrinthine Birmingham roadway - the Gordian Knot - and the grim reminder of a past fatal accident (the browning flowers).
Your linguistic ability is truly remarkable.

Best, Luigi

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

thinking about this, is it meant as a metaphor for the climate change need for a change of direction? It fits perfectly?

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This poetry monthly theme is producing some real jewels, and this is one of them. I love the way the words clash into each other. A good one to perform!

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks everyone for reading - it is a great theme.  smiley