He's going to find out who's naughty and...

It was Christmas Eve, and India had spent the entire day wandering from room to room in a state of some agitation.  The responsibility of it all rather weighed on her mind, a situation which was not helped by her companion’s apparent lack of interest.

India stood by the crate and looked at the slumbering pile of fur with considerable irritation.

“Rohan!”

No response, other than periodic snoring.

“ROHAN!”

There was a spluttering and coughing, and then,

“Wha?” One eye opened up, reluctantly.

“How can you sleep at a time like this?”

“It’th eathy” Rohan confirmed, closing his eye and sighing deeply.

“It may well be easy for you, young man, but it’s far from easy for me!  Do you know what you’ve got to do, tonight?”

“Yeth” One eye opened and closed in quick succession.

“Go on then, tell me what it is you are going to do?”

The snoring resumed.

“ROHAN!!”

“WHA??”  Rohan looked up, in high dudgeon.

“I asked you a question!”

“Oh, right…what wath it?”  Rohan asked, settling down again.

“You know very well what it was!  I asked you to tell me what you’re going to do tonight”

“Thleep, hopefully” Rohan yawned.

“You do know what day it is, don’t you?” India asked, sternly.

“Erm…” Rohan gave the matter some thought, “Friday?” He ventured, eventually.

“Yes, it is Friday, but what else?”

The snoring recommenced.

“ROHAN!!”

“Eh, wha?  Oh, yeah, erm, don’t know.  Give up!”

“This is Christmas Eve, I’ve been telling you for days about how important this day is and what we have to do!  How can you have forgotten?”

“Nothing to it!” Rohan settled back down again.

“Oh no you don’t, young man!  You can come out here and help me!”  India grabbed his collar and began to tug at it in an effort to drag him out of the crate.  Rohan watched her with bemusement.

“’ill ‘oo ‘ome out ‘ow!”  India managed, through a mouthful of collar.

“Oh, for goodneth thake!”  Rohan reluctantly got up and joined her outside the crate, “I don’t know why you’re making thuch a performanthe of thith” He said, crossly.

“Performance!” India asked, incredulously, “it’s Christmas Eve, it’s getting dark which means it will soon be time, and instead of being out here, helping me, you’re snoring away in your crate!  Do you know what you’ve got to do?”

Rohan thought about this for a while, his eyes screwed up with the effort of remembering.  Eventually, he looked up brightly and said,

“No”

“Oh, for pity’s sake!  I’ve told you a thousand times!”

“Hello!  Thought I’d be late and you’d have started without me!”  A small voice came from by India’s front paw.

“Oh, hello Wood Louse.  I wondered if we would see you this year” India grinned.

“Do you know you’re talking to your paw?” Rohan asked, with some concern.

“I am not talking to my paw; I’m talking to this Wood Louse, who very kindly helped me this time last year”

Rohan bent down to try to focus on the tiny insect.  The Wood Louse backed away from the giant nose approaching it and sheltered in India’s tail.

“I didn’t know if I was going to make it!  I had to set out yesterday afternoon to make sure I got here.”

“Where did you come from?” India asked.

“The Living Room” The Wood Louse confirmed, looking back at the vast distance.  “Who’s the big rug next to you?”

“What did he call me?” Rohan asked, affronted.

“He called you a ‘big rug’” India giggled, “Wood Louse, this is Rohan, he’s new.  He came to replace Packham”

“’Lo Rohan” The Wood Louse bowed slightly.

“Ith thith a joke?” Rohan asked

“No, it’s a Wood Louse” India said, firmly.

“I mean, you can’t be talking to a Wood Louthe!  Inthectth don’t talk to you”

“Well THRRRPT to you!”  The Wood Louse said, indignantly.

“What did he thay?” Rohan looked surprised.

“He said THRRPT!” India giggled, “they can be a bit rude.  What you need to know is that Christmas Eve is very special.  All of the animals and insects can talk to each other, but it only happens on this one night of the year.  You should be very honoured that a Wood Louse is talking to you at all!”

“Well, I thought I’d come in case you needed any help but, if you’ve got the rug helping you…” The Wood Louse said, sadly, and started to plod back toward the Living Room.

“Oh no, please stay, Wood Louse!” India pleaded, “at least you know what it’s all about, and we would be glad of the company”

“Well, if you’re sure?” The Wood Louse asked, uncertainly.

“Yes, I’m sure” India smiled.

“And you’ll keep that oaf from stepping on me?” The Wood Louse frowned at Rohan.

“Oaf?  Did he jutht call me an oaf?”  Rohan asked, indignantly.

“Well, if the cap fits!” India raised her eyebrows.  “Now, tell me what we’ve got to do, tonight?”

“Erm” Rohan looked thoughtful.

“When Santa comes, we have to take the parcel for Flynn that will come through the door flap…”

“Oh yeth, and how are you going to do that?” Rohan asked the Wood Louse, in a very sarcastic tone.

“I pull my weight” The Wood Louse insisted, defensively.

“We ALL have our part to play!” India said, firmly, “I couldn’t have managed, last year, without help from my friend here”

The Wood Louse blushed with pride, although you would have needed a microscope to notice.

“So, then what?” India asked.

“Erm, hang on, I know thith” Rohan thought hard.

“Then you have to tell Santa what it is you want and that will come through the door, too” The Wood Louse explained.

“I know, I know!” Rohan snapped, “I wath jutht about to thay that”

“Well, it’s a good job that somebody here knows what they’re doing” India said, sternly.

“Huh!” Rohan snorted.

“The family all in bed?” The Wood Louse asked.

“Yes, Mom and Flynn are upstairs watching a film” India nodded, “although they’ve probably fallen asleep by now”

“Which ith what I thould be” Rohan started to head back to the crate.

“You can come right back here, young man!” India snapped.

Just then, there was a tremendous WHOOSH out in the stable yard, a very bright light and the sound of hooves on cobbles.

“Oh heck, here we go!” India took a deep breath, “Rohan, get yourself over here.  We’ve only got a few minutes in which to do this” She looked over her shoulder, to see Rohan sitting staring at the door, eyes as big as saucers, mouth hanging open. “What’s the matter with you?” She hissed.

“It’th REAL!” Rohan said, in astonishment.

“Yes, of course it’s real!  Did you think I would make this up?”

“I didn’t think…I jutht… thought it wath one of thothe… thtories” Rohan said, shaking his head.

“Well, it’s not a story and you need to come and help, right now!” The Wood Louse, in an authoritative tone.

“Wha?  What do I do?”  Rohan asked, dazed.

“Oh for goodness sake!” India snarled, “look, you’ve got the softest mouth of us all, so you had better grab Flynn’s present when it comes through the flap.  Can you manage that, do you think?”

“Yeah, grab the prethent!” Rohan nodded.

“And you’ve got to be r e a l l y gentle, it could be something that gets broken easily” The Wood Louse advised.

“How would you know?” Rohan sneered.

“I’ll have you know; this is my third year!  I’m an expert, doggie!” The Wood Louse said, proudly.

“Will you two stop squabbling!  We’ve got a job to do and not much time to do it in” India snapped,

Rohan could hear, just outside the door, the sound of carrots being crunched rather loudly and, rather less loudly, mince pies being munched.  Way off in the distance, he was sure he could hear a voice saying “See, I told thee, carrots AND mince pies!  It’s one rule for them…”  Then the flap opened, slowly, and a white gloved hand pushed a brightly coloured present through.

“Go on!” India hissed.

Rohan edged, cautiously, toward the present and grabbed it, as gently as possible.

“’Ow wha?” He asked, with a mouthful of present.

“It has to go under the Tree, of course!” The Wood Louse said, with a superior tone.

Rohan glared at him and plodded off to the Christmas Tree.

“Pups today!” The Wood Louse shook his head, despairingly, “I suppose it’s your turn now” He grinned at India.

“I don’t really know what to ask for?” India mused.

“Just ask for something you would really enjoy!”  The Wood Louse suggested.

India closed her eyes and thought hard.  Shortly after, the flap opened and a neatly wrapped present dropped through.

“My favourite biscuits” India grinned, sheepishly, as she picked the present up carefully and put it to one side.

“Wait for me! Wait for me!”  Rohan came hurtling back into the kitchen and skidded across the tile floor.

“Oi! Watch where you’re going you great l…” The Wood Louse warned, and then vanished.

“Where’s he gone?  What have you done with him?” India looked all around, frantically.

“I don’t know, he’th tho thmall, I didn’t thee him” Rohan said in a hurt tone.

“I’m hanging on to the end of your tail, you great oaf!  Why can’t you watch where you’re going?”

“Phew! That could have been nasty!” India frowned at Rohan, “anyway, time’s short, you need to tell Santa what you want for Christmas, now!”

“How do I do that?” Rohan asked.

“Just think, very hard, about what you would really like, and he does the rest”

Rohan closed his eyes and thought very hard indeed.  Outside, someone said “REALLY?  OH WELL, IF YOU’RE SURE THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT!”

The flap opened for the last time and a long, thin parcel appeared.

“What is it? What is it?”  The Wood Louse was jumping up and down in excitement, now that he had detached himself from Rohan’s tail.

“I don’t know!” Rohan looked puzzled, “It’th not what I wath expecting, that’th for thure!”

India sniffed the strange parcel and frowned.

“It’s made of metal, I think.  Let’s see what the label says” She peered at the label and its neat writing, which said ‘Merry Christmas, Rohan!  Be very careful with this!’

“Do you know, I think it’s a knife!” India announced, after more sniffing.

“What would a doggie want with a knife?” The Wood Louse frowned, “there’s always a mystery at Christmas with you lot!”

There was a surge of white light outside, another WHOOSH and the sound of chuckling vanishing into the distance.

“Bye Santa” India said, wistfully, “see you again next year”

“Ith that it?” Rohan looked peeved.

“Yes, that’s it for this year” India nodded, “I told you it would all be over very quickly”

“What am I going to with thith?” Rohan frowned at his present.

“I think you had better put it under the tree, very carefully, and Mom can sort it out in the morning” India suggested.

Rohan picked the strange present up with the utmost care and plodded back into the Living Room.

“Well, if that’s it for another year, I suppose I should start to make my way back to the hearth for our Christmas party tomorrow”

“Thanks for coming, Wood Louse” India smiled, “it was great to have you here, again.  Hey, you could save some time by hitching a lift on Rohan’s tail”

“No, once is more than enough, thank you very much!”  The Wood Louse dusted himself off, pointedly, and started his lonely plod toward the Living Room.

“Where’th he going?” Rohan asked as he carefully avoided the tiny Wood Louse marching across the kitchen floor.

“He goes to a Christmas party with all 157 of his relatives at the back of the hearth” India explained.

“It’s 179 now!” The Wood Louse shouted back to them, “we’ve had a few happy events this year.  You should see how many stockings we have to put up!”

“Enjoy yourself!” India grinned, “see you next year?”

“Hope so!  Merry Christmas!” The Wood Louse responded.

“Merry Chrithmath!” Rohan shouted, “oh, and Wood Louthe…”

“Yes?”

“THRRRPT!” Rohan said, then rolled on the floor, giggling uncontrollably.

“Did you have to do that?” India asked, crossly, “just look at the mess you’ve made!”

“He did it to me” Rohan said, sulkily.

“He’s a Wood Louse!  It’s what they do.  They don’t know any better.”  India shook her head, “Come on, it’s time we went to bed.  We’ll need a good night’s sleep to be ready for tomorrow”

India and Rohan padded up the stairs to Mom’s bedroom.  India settled down, neatly, on her bed on the floor.  Rohan sprawled across Mom’s bed, causing her to have to shuffle over to make room.

“Night, Rohan” India said, sleepily.

“Night, India” Rohan said, a little grumpily because he was still annoyed about his Christmas present.

“Hang on a minute!” India jumped up from her bed as a thought occurred to her, “when you were thinking of what you wanted from Father Christmas, what did you think of?”

“Well, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted!” Rohan complained, “Tho, I thought I would just thay I’d like thomething…”

“Nice?” India suggested.

“Yeth, nithe” Rohan agreed, and then, “Oh, I thee!”

“You’ll know to be more careful, next year” India grinned, “don’t worry, I’m sure Mom and Flynn will have some really good presents for you, tomorrow.  You can have some of my special biscuits too, if you’re good”

“I’ve had thome already” Rohan tittered.

“ROHAN!” India snapped but couldn’t help smiling as she heard Rohan chuckling in the darkness.

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