In Search of the 'Snoz-Wanger'!

 

India poked her head around the kitchen door and looked out onto the yard.  All was quiet, with the farmyard animals safely shut up for the night.  The only animal who was out and about, that she could see, was Packham who was sitting absolutely still, in the middle of the yard, staring intently at the night sky.  She plodded out and sat beside him.  Both dogs stared upward.

 It was a beautifully clear summer’s night with just the odd small cloud scudding across a full moon, driven by the pleasant warm breeze.

“What are you looking at?” India asked, presently.

“Not looking at anything” Packham replied, without moving his gaze, “I’m looking for something”

“Oh, Ok”

Both dogs continued to stare into the darkened sky.  Eventually, India’ curiosity won.

“Alright, I give up.  What is it you’re looking for?”

“Snoz-Wanger” Packham replied, still staring upward.

There was a long silence.

“I beg your pardon?” India responded, politely.

“Snoz-Wanger” Packham repeated.

“Snoz-Wanger?” India turned to look at her friend, her eyebrows arched,

“Yes” Packham nodded.

“What’s a Snoz-Wanger when it’s at home?”

“Like a goat” Packham explained, briefly.

“Like a goat?”  India’s brow furrowed as she tried to work this latest information out, “why are you staring up at the sky then?  The goats are all in the stable behind you!”

“These fly”

“Flying goats!”  India’s eyebrows shot up, “that can’t be right, can it?”

“Flynn says it is.  He was doing his schoolwork on his iPad.  You know, the one you stole” Packham glanced sideways at his companion who looked down at the ground and shuffled her front paws in embarrassment.

“Don’t remind me” India muttered.

“Anyway, he was reading out all the details about this ‘Snoz-Wanger’.  Apparently, It’s about that tall” Packham held his paw up by his nose, “it’s like a goat and it’s got wings. Only comes out at night”

“I’m not sure I like the sound of flying goats” India shuddered, “just think of the droppings, well…dropping! Eww!”

“Good point” Packham nodded, “I hadn’t thought about that.  They’ve got scales, too”

“Scales? What would they want with scales?”  India shook her head, “there can’t be anything to weigh up there”

“No, not those sorts of scales.  Like fish, fish have scales” Packham explained.

“Now that’s just silly!  You couldn’t weigh things under water, they’d float!”

Packham turned to look at his companion and gave her a hard stare.

“You do know what fish look like, don’t you?”

“Yeah, they’re tiny, quite bright colours some of them”

“Well, they can be all sorts of shapes and sizes, I think.” Packham was quite pleased that he knew something that India clearly didn’t.  “But what they’ve got mostly are these little hard bits, all over, sort of like mirrors, and they’re called ‘scales’” 

“Oh, right” India nodded, “so where have these…”

“Snoz-Wangers” Packham filled in the gap.

“Where have they got these ‘scales’ then?”

“On their wings” Packham said, authoritatively.

“Really?  Gosh, you should be able to see them from miles away then!”

“Yes, that’s a problem for them too, of course, because eagles hunt them” Packham looked very pleased with himself.

“Do we have eagles around here?”  India looked around the night sky.

“I don’t think so” Packham responded, uncertainly.

“Should be a lot of Snoz-Wangers then” India suggested.

“Hmmm” Packham agreed, “you would think so, wouldn’t you?”

“So, have you seen any?”

“Erm, no, not yet.  Perhaps you scared them off, crashing about out here?”

“If they’re the size of goats, they’re not going to be scared off by me now, are they?” India pointed out. “What do they eat, these ‘Snoz-Wangers’?”

“Birds” Packham replied, confidently.

“Birds?” India looked questioningly at Packham, “and they only come out at night, these ‘Snoz-Wangers’?”

“Yes, that’s right” Packham said, still staring skyward.

“What sort of birds can they catch at night, then?”

Packham stopped searching the skies and looked at India for quite a while. 

“Owls?” He suggested, eventually.

“They’d never catch owls, surely?” India shook her head, “Let’s get this right.  They’re hunted by eagles, which don’t come out at night…”

“Erm, yes” Packham agreed, uncertainly.

“…and they prey on birds, and the only ones that come out at night are owls, which are nearly as big as eagles!  Are you sure you’ve properly understood this?”

“Well, that’s what Flynn said!”  Packham protested.

“Only it’s beginning to sound a bit like the walruses and the auntie’s bodies all over again, isn’t it?”

“I’m telling you what he told me!”

“Hmmm,” India considered this for a moment, “you’re quite old, aren’t you?”

“How very dare you!” Packham leapt up and growled softly, to show how annoyed he was.

“Well, you’re more than four, aren’t you?” (‘More than four’ means any large number for dogs because they can only count up to four, just having four paws)

 “I’ll have you know that I’m in my prime!” Packham sat down again and adopted a haughty pose.

“Well, alright, but you’re certainly older than I am, aren’t you?”

“Oh yes!” Packham nodded vigorously, “I remember you as a pup.  You were a right nuisance…still are!” He looked sideways at India and grinned.

“So, if you’re ‘in your prime’ and older than me…” India began, ignoring his remark, “and I’ve never seen or heard about a ‘Snoz-Wanger’ and I don’t think you have, either…”

“No, that’s true, I haven’t” Packham confirmed.

“Then where have they been all this time?  I think you would notice a goat with silver wings flying about, even if you didn’t know what they were called!”  India was quite pleased with herself.

Packham furrowed his brow and thought hard about this for a while.  He really didn’t want India to be right, but he had to admit that she had a point.

“It’s a tricky one and no mistake!”  Packham shook his head vigorously, causing fur and some unmentionable bits and bobs to fly in all directions.

“You don’t think…”  India gnawed contemplatively on a particularly troublesome claw on her back paw.

“Don’t think what?” Packham stopped shaking his head and stared at her.

“You don’t think it might be made up?”

“Made up?  What do you mean, ‘made up’?”

“Well,“ India began, leaving her claw for another time, “you know all of those super-heroes and villains that Flynn watches on T.V., they’re made up.  Somebody dreamed them up.”

“Are they?” Packham was surprised but decided to try not to show it, “Oh yes, of course they are”

“I wondered if this ‘Snoz-Wanger’ might be ‘made up’ too?”

“Who would have made it up?”  Packham asked.

“Well, Flynn I suppose” India suggested.

“Flynn?  Gosh, that’s clever.  I could never make up something like that” Packham was impressed.

“No, you couldn’t” India agreed, “that’s because you’re too old!  You have to be young like Flynn and me to be able to make up stuff like that” She giggled.

“Too old!  Too old, am I?”  Packham barked, “I can still get to a ball faster than you can!”

“Can’t!”

“Can!”

But before they could run off to check this out…

                “INDIA!  PACKHAM! TIME TO COME IN!”

“We’ll sort this out tomorrow” Packham said as he trotted back inside, “first to the ball, wins!”

“Unless the ‘Snoz-Wanger’ gets to it before we do” chuckled India, following him through the door.

The door was shut, the kitchen lights switched off and all was quiet outside at TURN Education, except for the swish, as a goat-like creature with silver-scaled wings swooped and dived in the night sky.

The previous stories in this series are 'A Panda Called Mick', 'The Walrus and the Aunteater'  and 'Dont Take The Tablets!' all here on ABCtales :-)

You can find a lot more of these stories about Packham and India in the new collection 'Animal Turns' available in paperback and Kindle editions.  All profits from the sale of this book go to support the work of TURN Education C.I.C. a not-for-profit Community Interest Organisation.  To find out more about TURN (and the roles of Packham and India) check out TURN's website:

www.turneducation.co.uk