Who had the right?

Hi Pin. Good to see you back. I like this but do you mind if I ask a question about the rhyming structure please because I am not schooled in poetic form like many are here and I can't get my head around it? If I had written this poem, it would be something like this, as suggested to me by your rhyme in the second part : Who had the right?,To take food from his mouth. The right to leave him crippled and bruised. Couldn't shine and whisper what his life was about. Couldn't handle the pain of being used A baby once hurt,is now destined to be free. The demons deprived from his sight. My baby boy, go to God - My Brother, just walk into the light Can you show me how it is meant to be read please? Is it some kind of rapping style? I can see the rhyme in lines 3 & 5 of your original but can't seem to make the middle work for me :-). Thanks.

Ah - sorry Pin I didn't spot the mouth/about rhyme - it must be a British/American accent difference thing - I shall try reading your work with an American accent from now on - cheers mate.

Hey Pin are you around at 19:00 on Friday by any chance? For a time difference check it is now 18:55 here.

How would you like to help judge a fun 3-way Robot poem comp between me, Beeme and Sunday? It's just a bit of fun, have a look at my poem Bot for more info.

Beeme has to produce a poem about robots - with no spelling mistakes - and checked for a balanced rhythm - as if it were to be a true competition entry in an ABCtales competition - so that she gets some practise of producing 'competition ready' work. Sunday and I are going to do the same to challenge her and each other. The 3 poems will be posted at 7pm on Friday and each judge will add a comment to my poem giving a mark of either 1, 2 or 3 to each of us - ie 1st, 2nd, 3rd. The scores will be added up and the winner will be awarded the 'Beeme-Jupiter-Sunday Crown'. It's just a bit of fun as you can see designed to help Beeme move forward in a fun manner - and who knows, given her recent improvements if she takes her time producing she could win. :-)

Chuck says he only likes certain types of poem subject and Ewan has already got his hands full reading everything with a view to cherrying. Perhaps I didn't explain well enough how this is only a bit of fun and nowhere near as serious as you are seeing it, but never mind and thanks for considering it anyway. ;-) I think I'm going to call it off anyway Pin. It seems like a really good idea of a way to help Beeme correct some of the errors which have previously been pointed out by Jen & Ewan but perhaps this isn't the right place for it. None of the editors have said they aren't in favour of it and the Code of Conduct doesn't deem it to be unacceptable, but I wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes if you know what I mean? And besides, I feel that the preparation lesson will have already been learnt by now anyway. So scratch 7 ;-)

Hi Pin - we're all dressed up and ready ;-) Got the go ahead from Mr Cook and it's a 7pm showdown. There is still time to change your mind and help with the judging - don't worry about checking spelling - you bring a different and valuable viewpoint to the proceedings. It's just a bit of fun and it's not necessarily about which is the best crafted in poetic terms, more about which you like best for whatever reason - and I feel sure everyone would agree we are all equally qualified to know what we like. ;-) We are short on judges Pin so if you do change your mind it would help us out. ;-) - so no pressure then mate lol