I am what I am destined to be

I am what I am destined to be
P K Routray
In my twilight
With a sigh, I travel across my life
with the decades flying like amonth
a month fleeting in a moment
and the calendar of life having seen
all my pages flown at one go
by a strong cyclonic wind
suddenly turning my child hood
to this twilight days of life.
Just yesterday only my grandmother
was telling me fairy and ghost tales
captivating me, protecting me
with comfort and security of her cozy lap.
Time might have recorded this story
in its history as usual as it had seen
but is unaware of the dreams
I dreamt but did not share.
The dreams of my child hood
shaped by grand mama’s tales
to fly like fairy and fight against ghost and ghouls
to punish all wicked spirits visible or invisible
to live fearlessly with Heavenly love and care
of my parents and grandmother ever present there,
no poverty, no inhuman activity, no negativity
would at all exist around.
All would play, make merry and dance with glee
Man would have no disease, nor death.
I would be the key person presiding there.
Now I only smile but salute at my child.

With passing age, surrounding and time
the dream got modified, modulated, replaced, removed
by teaching and training imparted
as age advanced, experience gathered
worldly wisdom inculcated, elders prevailed.
With the sight of the realities of life
dreams came down
to break all records
to hold all highest positions
to possess all the bests ever
in each field and sphere
to live without pain and sorrow
with hatred to go and enemies to vanish
my sword would only prevail and flourish.
I also smile and salute my adolescent youth

With struggle for real life’s salt and pepper,
coexisting with maddening crowd here,
spending time in earthly hustle and bustle
I have reached these twilight days
seizing the least and letting the rest to go
the unrecognized or recognized the opportunities
real, imaginary or virtual passed by
with repentance and frustrations, refreshed
I reflect on my dream of cave
within it my sun, moon and ocean
where I thought to be the monarch
with bliss and power unique and unequal
But I have been left as such and forlorn.
As per the destiny written on the seed of my soul
a negligible drop in my ocean,
a micro lumen of my sun and moon.
I am what I am supposed to be.