Waiting

I don’t know why I’m waiting for the next moment

When the next one will be exactly the same as this

I will be doing the very same things

Feeling the same things

Thinking the same thoughts 

Feeling deeply forlorn and sorry for myself

Waiting to be saved

Waiting to be irrevocably liked

Loved and revered by all

Waiting not to feel, basically, like I do now 

I will be waiting then in that moment for the next moment 

Hoping that it is not like this second one now

Forever and forever amen

But I will wait regardless

Transport myself in a confusion of time 

On this slatted brown bench with my newly-bought goods

Flat on it

My coconut water 

My shower gel 

My pain aux raisins from Gail’s

This is scarcely enough

This is really minuscule 

It’s just scraping the barrel

But the bus is here now actually 

So I’ve got to move

I’ve got to go

Until the next moment comes

If it does