Memories

I sit in my room, the only sound is that of the clock ticking away… tick tock tick tock...Seconds become minutes and minutes will run into hours. The stillness of the night is mysterious. Somewhere in the distance the blare of a train's engine, the constant rattle of its wheels over the tracks disturb me. A cricket sings in the bushes outside. Maina must have forgotten to close the window as usual. I will close it in a while. The lizards on the wall sit in silence and stare at me. Perhaps watching me and cursing me for my sorry existence.
The only light that permeates the room is that of the candle that burns steadily and faithfully. It seems to be trying to shed apart the web of darkness in the room but in vain. I stare at the bright flame of the candle and I see her face in the light. Radiant, laughing and throwing teasing glances at me. The leftover bread and maggi on the table are beginning to stink. Have to wash the plate soon.

Her face is still there. She seems to grow lovelier by the minute. In summer we played in the fields and I remember the two of us bathing in the sunlight and inhaling the fresh air, heavy with the perfume of the mustard crops. We would run amok after stealing mangoes from the neighboring fields to the shade of the bamboo groves; she, stopping on the way to wipe her juice dripping face with the ends of her skirt. In school she would sit beside me and scribble endless poems on my notebook and show them to me as Kalita sir droned on endlessly. But this summer there will be no one to scribble poems or steal mangoes with me.
I remember the both of us going down to the river for our swim, the sun smiling down on her small thirteen year old shoulders as we waded into the water. I remember the commotion, the cries and the numerous hands pulling me out of the water. I see myself calling out to her and getting no reply. She had gone out too far and the river wouldn’t let her come back to me.
The candle is still burning brightly. I watch and suddenly the smile on her face gives way to droplets of tears running down her cheeks.
The drops of melting wax drip from the candle and suddenly it is pitch darkness. Once again I am all alone.