Naturism

I'm off to sunny Norfolk to enjoy a week or two
Of walking in the salty air beneath the sky so blue
And while I'm there I'll spend some time indulging all my whims
Like eating ice creams from the pier and going for midnight swims
I'll talk with all the seagulls and with tramps who sleep outside
I'll steal some fancy motorbikes and take them for a ride
And while I'm there I'll also spend some time on my new passion
Which involves a total disregard for haute-couture and fashion
It's a hobby which I truly love it makes me want to grin
And although it has detractors who would label it a sin
I find it frees my mind and soul to contemplate my life
And it liberates my consciousness from trouble and from strife.
My hobby's name is nudism, a naturist is me
I'll wander round the Norfolk coast as naked as a tree
I'll run along the seafront streaking fast from bay to bay
With my ample belly bouncing and my tackle on display,
With my massive nipples pert and hard reacting to the cold
And my saggy bottom itching from the sand within its folds
I'll shout and yell in ecstasy as women shade their eyes
From the spectacle of chubbyness that's eaten all the pies
I'll hear the mothers tell their kids "Mathilda look away!
Thats no sight for decent folk, come, kneel with me and pray!"
I'll hear young ladies mumble that I haven't any winky
And I'll shout back "Yes I have young lass it's just extremely
dinky!"
I'll see the groups of teenage lads collapse in fits of mirth
At my testicles all shrunken up and at my massive girth,
And when I get back to my clothes my soul will be as air
From my time spent running naked through the beach and through the
fair
For nudism is in me and it makes my heart soar free
When I'm running with my tackle out for all the world to see