Y so strange, Pantopon Rose&;#063;

"Drip.....Drip.......Drip..."

It was starting again, that constant drip, drip, drip that has an
annoying habit of coming at unexpected times. I tried in vain, again,
to block it out. Covering my head with a pillow, pulling the sheets
over, pushing the heels of my hands to my ears, singing, screaming, or
humming could not block out that constant drip, drip, drip, that was so
much like a slow and steady drip of water onto the center of my
mind.

"Drip.....Drip.....Drip..."

I exhaled slowly, hearing it echo back to my ears from the soft warmth
of the pillow above me. I let myself succumb to the drip, drip, drip
and felt into my reality.

"This is where you belong." My Gemi whispered fiercely to me in the
darkness.

"I know." I mouthed. There would never be any reason for me to argue
against Gemi over this point. We both knew she was the only being that
had ever truly accepted me, after seeing into the darkness I hid so
cleverly from the world. Gemi took my hand in hers and led me towards a
door. I knew this door. I knew what was behind it. All of the things
that represented all that had come to hurt me, tear me apart, destroy
me, were locked behind this door. That's why Gemi had first come to me,
to help me conquer it all, and because she knew I needed her, more than
anything else in this world.

She grasped my hand and pulled me through the doorway, blowing the mass
of butterflies that covered it away with her breath. I shivered as one
ugly green butterfly brushed my cheek.

"See," she whispered into my ear. "I am what saves you, what holds you
together. Only I can make it go away."

She pulled her mouth away from my ear, but not before giving me a quick
lick on the cheek. She smiled at me playfully, and then pulled me
further in. The mass of flying butterflies finally thinned and I could
see where she was taking me.

"It's much more fun if you see it from the inside," she said as she
smiled. She took a hold of one of my breasts and led me deeper inside,
as if she were leading me by a leash made for a dog.

And, then we were there. Small furry rabbits hopped up to my feet and
let their small whiskers brush my ankles. I tried to draw back, but
Gemi pulled on me, pulled me closer to it all. The rabbits hopped
around us, in crazy circles as their whiskers moved up and down in a
mock animal smile. Pine trees appeared behind me and in front of me,
all decorated as if it was Christmas time. Gemi smiled at me
again.

"Come on, touch it."

I reached out, and did as she said. I stroked a string of popcorn for a
moment, and then, before my eyes, the popcorn became small yellow
colored pupil-less eyes and the string, tendons and ligaments and
brains. The eyes looked at me for a moment, before they decided to sort
itself out. The tendons and ligaments and brains fit themselves
together and formed a body, stuck awkwardly to the front of the
Christmas tree. The eyes stuck themselves together until there were
only 2 left, and then there, materialized in what seemed to be an
instant, was a woman free standing, without a christmas tree pressing
against her back.

She had brown hair, all curled into little rivulets that fell down the
side of her face and past her shoulders. She smiled at me, a smile
which I remember so well. Her skin was polished ivory. Her eyes of the
darkest grey, which always looked neither bored, angry, or sad, just
happy. The woman reached towards me, brushing the side of my cheek with
her knuckles.

"Sweetie, you look terrified. Is something wrong? Do you want a hug?"
the woman asked, but all I did was curl away from her, pulling Gemi
along with me.

"Gemi, let's go, please take me away from here. Enough for now. I'll do
anything."

Gemi smiled, like she always seemed to do when she had control over an
outcome.

"Yes, of course I'll take you away from here, but you know what must
happen if you decide to leave before I say so."

"I know, Gemi. I'll do it, just please, let's leave."

She giggled, and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the exit sign that
blinked brightly next to the door that was masked by the veil of
butterflies. The exit sign fell into itself and revealed a large black
hole. Gemi again grabbed a hold of my breast, and led me through,
giggling all the while.

When we were outside, I sighed in relief. The ugliness was gone,
completely gone, and the black surroundings felt so much more like home
than the place with butterflies, rabbits, and christmas trees had
been.

"Put a bed right there." Gemi said as she pointed to the darkest corner
of the room.

"All right, Gemi." And the bed was there, all black with matching silk
sheets.

"Come," she whispered. She pulled me towards her, removing both mine
and her own clothes at the same time, and then her mouth was on mine,
just like last time. She pulled herself on top of me, running her
fingers up past my thigh and into my secret place.

"I am what saves you, what holds you together. Only I can make it go
away." She whispered. And as if to prove her point, she grabbed a hold
of one of my nipples and twisted it until it bled. She laughed as blood
spilled onto the black silk sheets and bit me until my screams echoed
from every point in the room.

"I am what saves you, what holds you together. Only I can make it go
away." She whispered to me again, and then I fainted back into
misery.