Is love like red wine or Lucozade

 

 

I had hands to keep you warm

But they wouldn’t stop bleeding

I’d caught them on the grater whilst

Grating carrots to put in your Greek salad

 

Brought in on an olive green dinning plate

With chipped edges, because I always

Threw them down on the counter after heating

Them in the oven, cracks showing, absorbing dirt and germs

 

We bought a takeaway. Chinese if I’m not mistaken

I ordered it from, yes, lucky dragon, because they

Made the best beef curry. So beef curry it was,

Hold the vegetables because that way you get more meat

With garden peas because they add a little colour and

Don’t take up much space.

 

Spare ribs in honey glaze sauce and plain chow Mein

Which looked like silk worms but tasted great.

So the table was set and I had order earlier because I was

So excited that you were coming to visit.

 

I ironed my crumpled checked shirt and shaved my head

And face because I didn’t want you to think

I wasn’t trying to make a good impression

You came early, and I had just finished hoovering the navy blue

Carpet in the passage way. I asked if you wanted one of my

Special coffee’s or merlot…merlot was your favourite so maybe

The question served no purpose

 

So we chatted and ate and drank for about 3 hours or so

Then embraced…then down the stairs we trotted in the

Cool night air. I backed you out in your silver blue Peugeot

And you did your window down to say good bye.

 

I could have proposed to you that night but I was going on a

Date with someone from Birmingham on Sunday

So maybe it’s best to see how that turns out

Anyway the last time you were here, we were on our second date

And to tell you the truth I didn’t feel anything except admiration

And respect for you. Surely that must count as something positive

So we kissed and it was a-bit awkward because of our situation

I mean being in the front seats of a small car with seat belts still on

In broad daylight, in the car park of the afro Caribbean centre, where

You were dropping me off…no definitely no chemistry…later on

You text me and told me that too…still I was prepared to see

If things grew naturally…but you were adamant that you had to have

That feeling right from the start…

 

I dated this polish girl once. Her name was Beata, which later on I

Found meant beautiful…and another interesting fact was that

All polish women’s Christian names end In the letter A…ummm interesting fact

But I never found out why. She had a small son named artur…same as

Arthur but drop the, “h.” he was a lovely child but had anger issues

Because of his biological dads treatment of him…bless him!

Beata was a real looker we met on the internet and it was love at first

Sight for me, if there is such a thing…ok I’m a grown up so I would say

That I found her extremely attractive…she didn’t make a big deal about me

And for the next three months I would meet her at the train station

In Nottingham and we would spend a good 4 or five hours together

Little did she know I was on leave from a secure forensic mental health

Institution…not that I was a forensic patient…I was just there because

That was the only place in the hospital where there was a long term bed.

 

Artur grew to really like me and even though he couldn’t speak a word of

English we communicated like natives from the same soil…

And me and Beata would just chit chat about everyday things

Holding hands occasionally but never kissed in 3 months

I wanted to kiss her but had too much respect for boundaries

So I was happy to go along with it the way it was.

 

Then she said something to me after taking me to her home for the first time

And making me a meal of homemade breaded chicken breast…baby potatoes

And two veg…she said Sean this is the way polish women express their emotions

To a suitor, they take things slowly and let things develop naturally like flowers growing in

The soil. I have to fall in love with you and it takes time like this meal I’m cooking you…

so I have to blend all the ingredients right, then cook slowly so that the dish

Will be just right…

 

it was really insightful what she said and I admired her more for It…

after the meal we sat on the sofa whilst Artur watched Polish cartoons…

I held her hand and I had stopped smoking…then she realized my hand was shaking

That was the beginning of the end…I explained that I was on medication,

And tried to explain the mental health system to her…bless her she didn’t really

Understand fully and got freaked out…

 

That was the last time I saw her and Artur…except for on face book.

I did contact her and tried to explain that she shouldn’t put pictures of Artur

On Facebook that showed him nude or in just his underwear because of

Internet predators…she didn’t understand.

 

I still have her email address but I’m tired of trying to get a response out of her

As she’s moved on and so have I. I mean that was five years ago…but what she said

Still rings true, you have to court and fall in love that’s the way they used to do

It in the old black and white movies…everything nowadays is so microwave cultured

And fast paced…we have to feel a spark, immediate chemistry otherwise it’s not what we want

 

Well you have to see how things go, go with the flow, see how things develop

As love is something which can change with passing seasons and so can feelings

So really is there any science in this chemistry thing we 40 to 50 somethings

Are so passionate in feeling…

 

I asked you when he kissed you did you feel butterflies

And you said, no moths…lol….it was funny but sad too…because no matter what

You felt you know his casual attitude towards you is killing you…but you’ve got that spark

That feeling, there’s chemistry…I’ve even used the phrase on occasions myself to

Explain my cast offs…the lack of it…

I’m not a believer in it anymore and I think the old way's the best

Especially when everything else gels and then  chemistry

Is like a bottle of merlot…best left till last, matured, cultivated and sipped

not like Lucozade drank in a hurry for a quick fix, giving you hic ups and is gone too fast