THE LOVABLE SUBSTITUTE

The adolescent  ,Arvind sitting in front , the son of a family friend of mine was pleading using all his savvy charm and  gullible  words to convince me . He was skinny and tall but looked handsome with a perpetual smile in his face . I knew him since his birth , the only child of   my close friend from my childhood , both parents now  were  Professors of a reputed college .
         " Uncle , please talk to my parents and get permission for me to go to a beach resort in  Goa with my friends from the college. Some lecturers are also accompanying us" he pleaded.  I knew that it was easy to convince his father but his mother was too protective of him , being the only son . She also suffered from mild depression and was on minimal drugs . A very sensitive person with Borderline traits , it was difficult to even broach the subject with her . His father was equally reluctant to talk to her though he wanted his son to go and enjoy with his friends.  " I will try my best to convince her".
" As her treating doctor she will listen to you" he prodded me .
        When I broached the subject with her cousin who was close to his mother she refused to discuss with her but felt that the boy needed a break as his mother would not allow him to go any where. His father wanted me to convince his wife and allow him  the freedom to go as he felt it was important that he becomes independent and learn to  manage all kinds of situation.
         My entreaties  requesting her to acquiesce fell on deaf ears . She categorically stated that she would not take the risk of sending him so far . I had expected it as she  had  earlier rejected his requested  even for a good labrador dog  to rear ,  as she felt it might bite or hurt him. The Aunty who owned the dog was her close friend  and recommended one to convince her, still  she would not budge.
       His tantrums grew  and he refused to eat in the house  and  was resistant and stubborn . She was appalled and both of us had to console her stating that he was angry and will forget and condone her  after some time .  His belligerece grew but she was adamant .The whole atmosphere  in the house became a stalemate  and she withdrew herself and hardly slept and lost weight .
      Finally one day they met me to take a final decision as he was still uncontrollable , angry and  continuing his demand to go." I am afraid some harm will befall him if he goes there " she voiced her concern . My friend retorted " If he is fated, then it can  affect him even  if he   stays here "
She looked at me . " These are all our negative assumptions .Let us be positive and nothing will happen . I suggest that you send him bravely  , stating all the precautions .He needs  a real holliday He needs to learn to take care of himself" . She was in the horns of a dilemma . She wanted him to go if not for her apprehension. Our categorical statement and his refusal to budge  convinced her and she reluctantly agreed . Her son was happy and he made his preparations.  She supervised it and told him  umpteen number of times  the do and don't  of a picnic. On the D - day her apprehension grew and we all  had to go and leave him with his friends in the bus . She hardly slept the next two days and was in constant touch with him and also with me to ally her doubts.
      Then the tragedy struck . The third day  the boys  had gone to the beach near the resort that  night . It was a cordoned off area for he tourist.  The sea was in spate and all the six  boys who went in never returned . The police could not even find the bodies, except one . My friend called me to inform and I rushed to his house . He wanted me to inform her . She herself found it odd as I had gone early morning at 4 am . It was the hardest moment in my life , as I had to announce  the sadest news to a mother whose whole life revolved around her son. We sat silently for a long time . She found it too disturbing . Finally she blurted out  crying ." Why are you two so silent? What happened to my son ?
" He is hurt and is  in the hospital" I blurted out to buy some time . "We are leaving to Goa at 5 AM".  She started to pack her things crying all the time .Throughout  the journey by car she demanded more information and I  feigned  phoning up and enquiring .I told her he was not deteriorating and  the doctors were hopefull .In her emotional turmoil she believed it .It was like trying to clutch the straw before drowning .
           By late evening we reached the resort . There was a big crowd . The family members of all the students were present  . She went inside searching for him and she was requested to go to the medical college hospital . She was directed to the mortuary to identify the only body recovered from the sea . She saw the body  and it was not her son . A ray of hope seem to linger in her mind .She demanded to go to the hospital to see him .We took her to the government hospital . She went to the ICU to enquire. Then she came out and sat near us . She seem to have withdrawn with restless and confusion  of disbelief and denial coursing through her mind . Tears continue to pour out with only a whimper and a blub.  She roved her eyes between the two of us , sometimes it got stuck for a longer time on me . My friend was also suffering similarly ,silent  sadness apparent  in his face .I was more calm and  collected.
       She went inside again to enquire probably with the police who had  arrived to get details from other parents .She returned dejected  unable to verbalize, her anger projected on both of us . My friend sat near her on my prompt and she rested her neck on his shoulders and cried.
       There was no point  staying in Gao and we returned the same way back after getting the phone number of the police and a few other parents . All along she blamed both of us for the death of her son  , more so as his body was untraceable for a ritual burial. She was more  belligerent  towards me , seeing that   her husband could not manage her accusation and kept crying .
       She continued her tirade against me in spite of her husband reminding her that it was a collective decision to send him .She refused my  treatment and so I suggested  sending  her to a female counselor and the initiative was taken by her husband . She was better but she insisted that her husband should not meet me .
He told me and I thought it was better till she resolved  her grief and came to terms with her sons demise. I did not want to hinder or aggravate her feelings .
        There was no improvement as she was averse to any mention of her son and reacted vehemently .She was bottling up all her feelings about him . I suggested her husband to take her out to all the places he liked  without making the purpose obvious and without any prior intimation .
      On a  Sunday ,after purchasing from the vegetable vendor ,he took her to a restaurant which they frequented .He ordered the dishes which her son liked .  She seem to like it and ate it   " Arvind always liked coming here " he  just mentioned   " Yes , he also liked these dishes" ." Can we order  his favorite ice cream?"  She nodded and we partook it . Her husband also packed a few more cartoon of ice cream and left . He found that she had kept it in the fridge and was taking it on and off .We also started  to frequent  all the places he liked .He liked to played indoor games like carrom board and I would earlier sit with him. When I went home to enquire I found them playing and she asked me to join. On one such occasion she met his  college mate and spoke to him .It was the first time  after the incidence that he  found her smiling and talking  . She also decided to take the tablets which I prescribed .
        I suggested to her husband that he should get a labrador dog for her . It was better that the aunty , her friend who owned the dog gifted a pup to her . He made arranged with  the owner and she gifted a dog . " His name is Arvin and will  responds when you call his name " .She said while handing over the pup. It was done at my behest. She accepted the gift and became  so  attached to it as it went behind her everywhere. She used to take her for long walks.
   After a year except for the anniversary reaction which was normal , she limped back to normalcy partly due to the dog who was a lovable substitute and the drugs.
    She capped it up by saying " you both were in a way responsible for my son ' s demise and you both also bailed me out of my suffering  .I am grateful and thankfull .I am also sorry for my behaviour " She then led the dog out for a long walk.
     Her husband voiced his concern seeing her walking  tall with a stride. " What if anything happens to the dog "
.Dont worry , we will get an equally lovable substitute". I retorted, looking at him smiling . He appeared comfortable with the thought.