California Diary 2

LA: 9th August 7.15am

I had big plans for yesterday. Was going to go downtown in the sunshine, look at some art at MOMA, buy some postcards and eat some overcooked meat. It never happened though. Jetlag and a dispiriting message from home bamboozled me. The best laid plans of mice and men.

So. I did not do much really. I drank coffee in an attempt to perk me up, read some and listened to the radio and had an overbearing sadness raging through my veins. I sat in Paula's garden soaking up the cruel sun and fell asleep. There is a tan developing. I went out for something to eat later on. The classic burger and fries from 'Tommy's'. Could not eat the thing though, it was just too big. The Mexican staff looked at me as if I was an alien. I apologised like the Englishman I am and was in bed by 9pm after drinking half a bottle of red.

Paula arrives back from San Francisco later today. She will be tired I reckon. I'm looking forward to seeing a friend who I have not seen for a few years. We have history Paula and me. About fifteen years or so. Seen good, bad and horror together. Our ties that bind are strong.

It's strange how some people disappear, and some who stay faithful. Jetsam and flotsam. I can count the constants on one hand: Emma, Steve, Jacqui, Becky and Paula. Some of those who are missing are no less important, they just did not hang around for one explanation or another. It's a complicated world.

I have to tidy this place up a bit. I have treated this house as my own as instructed for the last few days. I like it. Cosy and cool with great books and photos dotted everywhere. There are old snapshots of Jane and me on the walls from the days before 9/11. They were taken at Big Sur on a camping trip. I have not seen them before and they brought a tear to my eye. We both look so happy, her quaffed ginger snap hair, my outrageous Alan Ginsberg beard. She is one of those who have gone. The one of the two who are just not around to talk to anymore. The two who are the most important of them all. I miss them both so much. Damm.