California Diary 3

LA: 10th August 7.00am

They are trying to blow up planes!

Woke up early again this morning. I don't mind because the periwinkle sky outside is so beautiful. I go out in the garden with good coffee and Marlboro Lights in hand to watch the morning migrate and the hummingbirds execute their gymnastics. It feels me full of hope. Life can never get as bad has it's been recently. I simply will not let myself or her ruin me. I've tried too hard and I have failed. I've made a mess that is unfixable and now I have to simply give up. It's a relief. I'm too good and I value myself more than the constant trips to hell. Fuck it!

I come back in to the house and logged on. The BBC is telling me that madness has broken out at all the UK airports. Here we go again. I've been here before like we all have. I'm calm and business like. It could mean in a worse case scenario that I may be here longer that I anticipated. Again, I've been through that before and know how to deal with it. There are flashbacks of my time here during 9/11 and when we could not get back home for ten days. The sadness and the panic. It could be nothing of course, and I might just be naturally overreacting as usual. But these are dangerous times.

On a brighter note. Paula's back! It's great to see her and we spent the night eating pizza and drinking wine. Laughing and planning. It was a joy to have conversation after the last three days on my own. The banter is as comfortable as ever. We are going to do lots of things. New things. The Hurst Castle, films in graveyards, puppet shows about Dennis Hopper and sandcastles. I'm thinking pancakes and bacon for breakfast. What are friends for eh?

Quote of the day:
What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realised it sooner.
Colette