California Diary 5

L.A 12th August 8.45am

It was like Apocalypse Now, or that scene in Goodfellas!

Last night, as I was trying to sleep, helicopters invaded us. They were sweeping low. There were at least three of them. Searchlights and everything. I walked into Paula's bedroom and asked what was going on. She said that it happens all the time, and it's the L.A.P.D looking for fugitives. I was expecting Jack Bauer from '24' to burst into the house at any moment and save me from myself.

So we had a great breakfast yesterday at a Diner called the 'Right Spot'. It was an American classic. Booth seating, endless coffee and waitresses in yellow uniforms. As stated before, I am a right slag for this kind of thing. I had French toast, bacon and eggs over easy. Delicious. I'm only going to do that a couple of times this trip. Don't want to end up looking the doughboy.

We drive to the Getty Centre. There is a great show on the radio. Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols presents a programme called 'Jones's Jukebox'. The idea of it is that Steve invites guests in and they talk and jam live on air. It's hilarious, rude and disorganised. Who would have thought that Mr Jones had the talent for such a thing? We were crying with laughter about a made up song about Gary Glitter.

The Getty Centre is extraordinary. Perched high up in the hills with views across Los Angeles that change perception at every turn. This is a Babylon city. Seedy, serious and lost in itself. A place that pushes to nowhere on an hourly basis.

There is a gallery here that takes my breath away. It's a room that hosts every heavyweight painter that there ever was. The ones we learnt at school. Monet, Manet, Gaughain and Van Gough plus many more. It's a real overload. It's theme park art.

Paula and I sit and study 'Irises' on a bench in the middle of the room. I have seen this painting before in Amsterdam. It's Jane's favourite painting and it is beautiful. I think of her and that trip where she was quite ill. There were snowstorms that weekend making that city look romantic and dated. I remember being selfish and insisting that she came out and see it all, even though she was throwing up every half hour. She tried and it made her more ill. I made her ill. I was so stupid back then.

Although Paula is in the next room and only five metres away. She has emailed me my horoscope for the next week.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "Anger or bitterness toward those who have hurt you will block your path to higher ground," said inspirational author
Vernon Howard. "You can have anger toward people or you can have freedom from people, but you can't have both." I suggest you make that one of your guiding thoughts in the coming week.
Pisces. An undreamed- of burst of liberation is now possible for you if you compel yourself to experiment with radical generosity on the wild frontiers of forgiveness.

The act of reading a horoscope reminds me of another time. Sunday mornings in London. Cigarettes, coffee and skin.

I want to buy a hat. I have to reinvent and forgive myself.