The Red Rose of Palookaville
By ralph
Thu, 04 Sep 2008
- 1325 reads
2 comments
It’s raining blood on a Bleaker Street bedlam.
Nothing but dead horses, broken carts.
Every phone box has become a mad motel,
for the gin soaked, screaming hearts.
There's not a taxicab left in Palookaville,
and a trumpet mutes out sad news.
Of the kebab-stabbed boy, who went raving mad,
since ol' ruby sucked on his blues.
Christ! Her betrayal has left him drowning,
as her dirty bed paddles the beast.
He’ll cling on forever to this murder of love.
She was his famine before her feast.
Now, maybe he’ll get a tattoo.
A red rose by any other crime.
He’ll hide it right up there on his shoulder blade,
and let it weep from time to time.
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Comments
"since ol' ruby sucked on
Permalink Submitted by john_silver on
"since ol' ruby sucked on his blues" is a bit obscure to me. Generally speaking the imagery is excellent, however you could do with brushing up your metre a little. The text spins all over through iambs, trochees and anapests and sometimes between tetrametre and trimetre. While it's not ineffective as it is, I think a smoother rhythm would result in a smoother read.
Good stuff anyway.
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