The Blind Date From Hell

By randy-johnson

Sat, 22 Jun 2019
  • 481 reads
1 comments
 

My blind date became violent because I took her to Popeyes instead of KFC.
She didn't get her eleven herbs and spices so she beat the hell out of me.
I took her to Popeyes Chicken because Popeyes is cheaper.
She became so violent that I nearly met the Grim Reaper.
She jabbed me in the eye with a fork and crammed a salt shaker up my butt.
When she was done, she'd covered my body with wounds and cut off my nuts.
She actually wanted a second date but I strongly protested.
When she insisted on another date, I had the bitch arrested.
I'm having to pay to have my balls reattached and for the removal of the salt shaker from my butt.
I'll never go on a blind date again, not only does she become violent, she also looks like Jabba the Hutt.

Certificate 15
Poem
Humour
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by Nolan on

One wonders what the motive is to organise such a date. I was on one of them and of course I drank too much she tried to stop me. That didn't even help she was horrible. Then she wanted to kiss goodbye well you know how it is like in in the movies "suckaface" my little niece calls it. Not me. Well got to admit one thing she looked like a gipsy. Hell I'm not exactly handsome I guess but this one takes the cake.

Also there was a nurse she was violent like yours. For the joke her friends  told she had commited suicide and well 10 years later she rocked up again she was in America. This one wasn't so bad almost bearable. At least she got the hint or something. Whew.