THE 17.30 LEAVING PLATFORM 2…

By raysawriter

Sat, 17 Nov 2007
  • 1705 reads
3 comments
 

Lines of travel
stationary.
Steel wheels roll onward
rapidly.
Brief cold touch
as gaining speed.
Train tubes moving
over land.
Run straight;
high speed; gaining ground.
Heading for a
destination.

Reserved seat people
occupied.
Avoiding contact
knees and eyes.
Some get off as
neon lights
stream through
black tar, starry nights.
Soon to reach a
Railway Station.

Certificate U
Poem
Down the line.
Travel

Comments

Submitted by camilla on
The problem is that it is so difficult to find a new angle and brand new images about a train journey.The linear form reflects rails but I feel the images need to be expanded.I fairly recently submitted an "I thought" different train poem to a competition where one got feedback from a famous poet.He clobbered the train poem because it was too familiar a subject.

 

Submitted by raysawriter on
Hi Camilla I'm new to the site so I didn't know about the point of inspiration. Still finding my way around. Thanks for your comment. I wrote it on a train journey to pass the time away. I agree there are only a certain number of things you can do with a train journey. All the best Ray

Ray

Submitted by raysawriter on
Hi Camilla I'm new to the site so I didn't know about the point of inspiration. Still finding my way around. Thanks for your comment. I wrote it on a train journey to pass the time away. I agree there are only a certain number of things you can do with a train journey. All the best Ray

Ray