Loo Tool (Poetry Monthly)

By Rhiannonw

Thu, 03 Sep 2015
  • 3390 reads
13 comments
 

Give a good squirt
under the rim
to destroy germs and dirt
with chemical vim;
a 4-in-1 toilet gun
with the neck of a ‘duck’
to shoot any muck
that may have got stuck
where the water comes in.

1. lethal to bugs (99.9%?)
(necessary?)
(Well, certainly of use
their quantity to reduce!)
2. removes lime-scale
3. freshens (from odours?)
(smell of a drain?)
4. cleans above and below
the waterline
ie down the bend,
and around the bowl,
erasing the stain.

And while it works,
your bathroom smells
of ocean air,
or forest pines,
or citrus scent,
they say;
though some dislike
this odd, intense
and cloying pretense
at seaside breeze,
or lemon trees:
elusive allure
of the country without its manure!

[Poetry Monthly - work on found lists, ads, bills, etc.]

 

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous
Humour
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Though this is meant to be a bit of fun, peer comment and criticism and suggestion always appreciated. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by loquaciousicity on

Funy, witty!!!

A pleasure to read!!!

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Terry! I'm glad it gave fun anyway. The Poetry Monthly idea seemed a good one, but my mind went blank and tried to remember all those funny notices seen in the past …. But then I started thinking about these bottles, and something started to develop! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

This is really good Rhiannon. 

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, I'm glad you thought so, Bee. I was a bit nervous about it, but had enjoyed making it work! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

A good one Rhiannon. I had a couple of tries; they are not easy to put together, are they? But at least they challenge the brain.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Luigi. Yes, surprisingly difficult, but maybe by the end of the month, we'll get some more ideas! As you say does challenge the thought processes! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

IT was a difficult subject, but you informed us as well as entertained us as usual.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jean. As you see this was an attempt to think about this Poetry Monthly this time, and I got stuck on this subject, but had fun anyway!

Glad to see you back.
Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Well done!  I haven't given this one a go yet, I guess the inspiration is all around us.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks again, Helen. I appreciate that! I did make myself think on this one mundane item, and see if it could be worked on to some effect or fun! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

This is very amusing, light and thought provoking, Rhiannon. You've captured that old duck well and made something new from your finds. 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Vera. I appreciate your analysis, and glad it was amusing! Rhiannon