Surroundings impress (Poetry Monthly)

Cherry

By Rhiannonw

Wed, 05 Aug 2015
  • 5476 reads
18 comments
 

Concrete cubes and glaring glass,
no cooling ponds or soothing grass
nor shading trees and cheerful flowers,
no solitude in teeming hours:
the disenchanted voices press
and echo round, mirrored by mess,
anonymity a shroud
to safely join an angry crowd
in midst of shops crammed full of stuff
that lure – you’ll never have enough …

Growing up in rural calm,
not noticing the peace and charm,
wanting company and noise –
magazines show urban boys
in biking bunch and disco whirls,
mud-free pavements, dainty girls;
insufficient things to do,
too much time to think things through …

One lad alone on lonely farm,
exposed to winds, still finds a balm
in wild moorland, and loss of sleep,
searching, lifting, birthing sheep,
helps his father, calloused hands
off to market, briefly stands
in midst of auction racket, cheer
with news from neighbours far and ‘near’;
TV, radio, and computer –
brief summer use, though more in winter,
Sunday chapel, knows dependence
on God, and promised providence,
and meets a lass who’s also hewn
from nearby hillside, faithful grown.

[Psychogeography : The study of the influence of geographical environment on the mind or on behaviour]

 

Certificate U
Poem
Families
Philosophy

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Always interested in comment and criticism: I didn’t understand well all that was written about Psychogeography under Poetry Monthly, but found this dictionary definition led me to these thoughts. Rh

 

Submitted by Bee on

Such a big contrast shown here, Rhiannon. Another one to be read out loud to be appreciated. I liked that even in the rural setting, the big city influences have a play. But also wondered if there is an assumption that all attitudes belong in their own setting - eg. Do city dwellers have less faith in God? 

I liked the rhythm and rhyme. 

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Bee, for opening up the thoughts of are we forced into certain behaviour by our surroundings, and can that be an excuse for us. The answer must be that we are responsible, but I was trying to pick out the ways surroundings can be helpful or unhelpful, but our own hearts ultimately have to cope where we are. As I said to Bear – "though each of us still has to work through the difficult issues of where we have to live" , but I thought that the influence or problems that can arise for people in each situation were useful to explore. As for faith, again, obviously it isn't a simple question of more people in the country believe than in city, but in cities maybe there are more distractions, and in the country, maybe more easily felt needs of help (again rather a general comment!) and time and quiet to think about the words of scripture.

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

Interesting poem to get one thinking. I know of city people who are uncomfortable in county life, and although they might appreciate a brief sojourn into the wilds, their comfort comes from the bustle and noise and heat and excitement  of a city. It probably does affect one's personality, and maybe if we all were forced to live in the countryside, there would be a slower pace of living - but with that, an accompanying reduction in progress - although some might not think that a bad thing.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Interesting comments, Jean. Some of these points about city pressures have obviously been given some thought in recent planning of green corners, and parks, and trying to make housing more pleasant and encouragement to try to keep the areas pleasant etc.
Also, both in city and village, youngsters need to have needed occupation, and see the point of spiritual direction in their lives. The comment at the end of the second stanza of 'too much time to think things through …' was meant to be a bit 'tongue in cheek', as so often 'time on your hands' doesn't encourage profitable thinking, I think?! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by scratch on

Excellent contrast on show here and a fantastic rhyme too.  Well done, Rhiannon.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Appreciate that commendation, Scratch. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

An intriguing comparison of rural and urban childhoods, really like how it raises all those taken for granted childhood home truths and makes you see them anew. Has satisfying pace and that last verse is my favourite - hard graft and rural lifestyle with a homely simplicity. Keeping things local!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Vera, for all your thoughts. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Sorry to be slow thanking for the cherries for this one, too. Rh

 

Submitted by hilary west on

I like the contrasts in this of rural life and the concrete jungle. There is nothing worse than all these high rise buildings with not a tree in site. Nice use of rhyme too makes this a very competent poem.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, HIlary, I'm glad you found it so. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by EB on

Skillfully written and explored contrasts of attitudes and environmental influences. 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, it was useful to have to think a bit  about the helpful and unhelpful effects environment can have on us and others, as we try to live our lives well, and help others to do so, wherever we/they are. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Effective use of alliteration in the first line of the first stanza which serves to 'slam' the poem home from the start, and then with a marked contrast of much softer language and imagery in the second line. A poem of contrasts, which is showcased from the start.  An excellent poem.

Tina

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks for thoughtful comment on the structure, Tina. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

This is such a mindful poem Rhiannon,

capturing the differences in landscapes that we so take for granted. I suppose in a way we can't live without either. But I like the way you end the poem on a peaceful note.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Jenny. We all have to live happily and responsibly and trustingly where we are, but it's useful to realise some of the different problems people have in different environments. Rhiannon