Oh Sweet Lullaby
By Richard L. Provencher
- 1212 reads
Esther my own precious dear
when you tarry then sally near
there is nothing but my heart to fear
for as I tread forth in silence
along the path where willows breathe
all I feel are gilded gifted thoughts
that pass beyond any borders
in my mind and I am no longer
alone on a journey that soars divine
since together as lovers we are at last.
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Comments
The free rhyme
The free ryme is beautiful it is always so much more natural than fixed patterns, that is better left to the masters.
Your sentiments are wonderful Richard! Tom
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Yes I have noticed Richard
Yes I have noticed Richard and it makes a lot of sense. You leave the pauses and stops, feelings and nuances over to the reader it makes everything much more natural and fluent. The interpretations are lot more flexible as such.
The capitals too it sounds stupid starting each line with a capital letter but it has been traditional in poetry since how long ago. You know what you just ended the line now you start with the next one, you don't need something else as well. Really it is very artificial and is unnecessary.
How then about dropping that final and only full-stop too! And not a bad thing actually writing about boys and men most of us just want to write about girls and women. You know how one-track minded we are hey?
You're doing very well! Tom Brown
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