Crawler
![Cherry Cherry](/sites/abctales.com/themes/abctales_new/images/cherry.png)
By RJF
- 2474 reads
The boy hugged his knees to his chest as another kick landed. He no longer knew one part of his body from the other, there was only pain.
“Don’t you ever ask for food again, you will eat when I say you can eat; when you learn some manners.”
Another kick hit him somewhere; he was disconnected from it, his body convulsed involuntarily. Finally the blows stopped and he heard heavy footsteps on the wooden floorboards. The locks turned and the bolts clattered against the door frame. He wouldn’t have the strength to escape anyway, the locks were unnecessary.
He lay in the darkness waiting for sleep to release him from his living hell. As he drifted in and out of consciousness he heard the door open again. He dragged himself towards the corner trying to hide in the shadows. The footsteps were lighter though and accompanied by a waft of perfume, it was his Mother. She knelt beside him and touched him on the shoulder, he winced, so many broken bones now.
“You shouldn’t upset your Father like that” she whispered “It’s your own fault” he thought he detected a tremble in her voice but he couldn’t be sure “I can’t help you anymore.”
He let his body sink against the damp floor, he felt as though he was dissolving into it, into the earth below. Sweet relief washed over him as he let go.
Stories of the accident spread through the small village, rumors of the poor boy at the big house who had fallen from the balcony onto the tiled floor below and broken every bone in his body. He had been ill for so long that no-one remembered what he looked like. They said he had had stumbled from his sick bed, tripped on the carpet and fallen to his death. Only his parents attended the funeral, held in the family chapel. Family was so important.
His Parents left the Village soon after the funeral but they did not sell the house and gradually it fell into disrepair. The woods engulfed it, swallowed it up. The locals would have forgotten it was there had it not been for tales of the haunted house and the boy who had lost his life there that were passed down the generations.
He waited in the darkness. He bided his time.
The children came first. He heard their giggles as they tried the door of the shed. Their Mothers voice from behind warning them of the danger of crumbling wood. That wasn’t the only danger.
He stayed beneath the earth, the damp decaying leaves were his home now, he had almost disappeared completely but their voices had woken him. He slid from his hiding place, emerging slowly, silently. He listened to them talking excitedly about their plans for the house and the garden, listened to them fixing things which did not belong to them. Anger grew in him as he considered these people who were taking what was rightfully his.
He waited in the darkness, careful not to make a sound and watched the children play. Sometimes they came so close that he could smell them but they never came alone and they had to be alone for his purpose. He was anxious for life, the need burned inside him, the desire to feel the sun on his skin, the rain in his hair; to live the life he had never had the chance to live and take back what belonged to him. He waited patiently.
Finally she came, a girl. The others left her there alone in the dark, close to the trees, close to the ruins of the cabin, close enough to touch. Her warmth drew him out of his hole. He called to her, gentle whispers, words that calmed her. Her curiosity drew her closer still, her eyes wide with wonder but not fear. As she knelt in front of him holding out her hands to him he realised that she saw the little boy he had once been but now he was something else, something darker. Now he was death itself. Before she had time to react he slithered towards her and threw himself upon her, his hands reaching for her face. He slid his fingers into her mouth “are you hungry?” he hissed but she couldn’t make a sound as he tightened his grip on her fragile body. He felt her shudder as he wrenched her head back and drew her lips apart with his fingers, pulling down on her jaw until the bones cracked. Her mouth became a gaping hollow space, the skin pulled taut around it. He paused for the briefest moment and then he crawled inside.
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Comments
No sunshine and light here
No sunshine and light here then. I enjoy your tone and atmosphere-building, and, by the end, as he slinked inside her, had happily hatched the notion that he/she would skip off, grow up a little and seek out his parents to slay them.
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Good story and I'm not sure
Good story and I'm not sure about horror usually.
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Brilliant and worth expanding
Brilliant and worth expanding. It's like his soul has twisted into something else. Slight jump in viewpoint where we have authors voice explaining halfway but in this short piece it's needed for info. I like the dark tone to this. This could easily be a much longer piece with a lot of mystery about who this ghost is and what really happened with a slower build. Congrats on cherries.
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The view shift works to keep
The view shift works to keep the piece short in this case. Anything longer I'd avoid the change
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A thing that struck me was
A thing that struck me was the unexpectedly evil character of the boy as a ghost. Given his abusive upbringing and violent death I was expecting him to be non-evil towards others having experienced evil himself but perhaps his life experience caused this unwelcome alteration.
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I don't care for things to do
I don't care for things to do with ghosts, but your clever writing's right up my street ..
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