What I did in the Holidays

I couldn’t understand why Mrs. Ironmonger was laughing. She was always kind and patient but didn't smile that often, and she could be quite grumpy and stern when some of the naughty boys in the class were messing around. But I’d never seen her laugh before.

It was our first day back at school and she had been asking us what we'd done during the holiday. I’d been describing our family walking holiday. We’d stayed in an old stone cottage with an open fire. I used to love sitting by it in the evenings staring into the flames while Mum and Dad sat with a glass of wine studying guidebooks and maps planning the next day’s outings.

I quite liked walking in the countryside because there was always lots to see and do - splashing around in muddy puddles, listening out for birds, chasing the squirrels (but never catching one), mooing at the cows and baaing at the sheep, skimming stones on the lakes, and poking around in the forest floor to find creepy crawlies that made Mum scream. One day we saw a massive waterfall, which Dad said was called a ‘cataract’. Mrs Ironmonger seemed pleased that I’d learned a new word and she wrote it on the board. I couldn’t walk as far as Mum and Dad, but they would take it in turns to give me a piggy back when I was tired, which always gave me a better view.

The weather had not been as good for us as for some of my friends who had been in a plane to faraway sunny places like Spain and Disneyland. In fact, it had rained at some point on each day of our holiday. But I didn’t mind that because Mum and Dad always seemed to plan the day’s trips around teashops. I always welcomed the first spot of rain because it meant that some tasty treats were just around the corner. In fact, if it was raining when we woke up, we would just head straight out to a teashop.

I loved tucking into all manner of cakes, scones, pastries, and puddings, and a special type of biscuit with toffee and chocolate on called ‘Millionaire’s Shortbread’. Whenever I asked for this, Dad would always hesitate, suck in air loudly through his teeth, and say ‘I’m not sure we can afford that - we’re not made of money, you know.’ This would make Mum and anyone else around laugh (and even Mrs. Ironmonger began to smile at this point) but I couldn’t see the joke.

I didn't like gingerbread, which we bought in Grasmere (and which wasn't a bread), because of its hot peppery taste that burnt my throat. And I didn't like Kendal mint cake (which wasn't a cake) because of its strong minty smell that made my nose run.

My absolute favorite was sticky toffee pudding which we had in a place called Cartmel where it had been invented. What a great job, I thought, and I told the class that that’s what I wanted to be when I grew up – a Pudding Inventor. (More smiling from Mrs. Ironmonger.)

Mum and Dad usually had a pot of tea but seemed to spend ages choosing what cake to have. I knew they liked cakes but not as much as me. ‘We’ve come away on a walking holiday to get fit and healthy, not put on weight with all these calories.’ I thought eating cakes must be alright because being outdoors gave you what Gran always called a ‘healthy appetite’. Dad often chose fruit cake which he said was the ‘healthy option’ which seemed to make sense as it had fruit in and everyone knows that fruit is good for you.

Some of the other children in the class had now started laughing because it looked like Mrs. Ironmonger was about to start laughing (although it was difficult to tell because she was now holding her handkerchief in front of her mouth). I started laughing, too, while trying to figure out what it was that was setting everyone off.

As I’d finished telling my story, she’d asked where I’d been on this walking holiday.

I couldn’t remember the name of the area. I knew that it had been a long drive ‘up North’ on the motorway. Luckily, I’d had some books to read and some music to listen to, and we’d stopped a few times to use the toilet.

Then I remembered asking Dad where we were going, and it was his answer when I repeated it to the class that made Mrs. Ironmonger laugh out loud:

‘We’re going to the Cake District.’