TERROR SUSPECT CRIPPLE CONFESSES AFTER POWERCHAIR FREAK ACCIDENT!

TERROR SUSPECT CRIPPLE CONFESSES AFTER POWERCHAIR FREAK ACCIDENT!

Doctors confirm cognitive improvement in a disabled man after a freak accident at his home led to the revealing of his true identity.

The future of electrically powered wheelchairs is in question after a disabled man had a bizarre accident in his home on Tuesday. Confused Mr. C, a computer enthusiast, who can not be named for legal reasons due to pending inquiries, reversed down a ramp from his kitchen to his lounge at high speed. He inadvertently crashed into a cupboard unit loaded with boxes of electronic equipment. After he sustained only minor head injuries, doctors confirmed that his previous mental impairment showed remarkable signs of improvement. “So much so that the man confessed to his involvement in a bizarre terror plot.” said Dr. A Roger.

Dr. Roger went on to explain that when he and Mr. C discussed the events of 9/11 Mr. C kept crying out “You Mister Zilli-Con Valli! You Mister Zilli-Con Valli!” The Dr. explained his bemusement at this. Even weeks later when the terror suspects had been named in the media, there was no mention of Zilli-Con Valli even though three aircraft had been used to target prime locations.

Police spokesman D.I. P refused to confirm claims made by doctors that the invalid was planning to use his electric chair as an explosive device. In a statement to the press he confirmed that “A one-legged individual has been detained under new terror legislation. The suspect came quietly without kicking up a fuss although several officers are being treated for whiplash inflicted by a greyhound’s tail.” A vet was called to capture the dog but found that it was already sedated.

The road leading to Mr. C’s house has been cordoned off by the police for the protection of the neighbours. D.I. P announced that “the surface shows signs of possible explosives testing”.

Upon his arrest Mr. C was heard screaming “Bloody crashing windows!” though his double glazing appeared to be intact. Recently however, neighbours had complained of hearing foul language and references to a Mr. Gates and broken windows. They assumed that Mr. C must have some connections in the glazing industry after all, several different sports cars have been seen parked outside his house over the years driven by a shady looking gentleman.

Police are following up these leads and are asking that any associates of Mr. C please come forward for elimination from their enquiries. So far their investigations have yielded little response from the public and the whereabouts of Mr. Gates and the safety of Zilli-Con Valli have yet to be determined.