Lesson learned - (re-cap and chapter 1 to 3)

By rustyb

Tue, 08 May 2018
  • 454 reads
2 comments
 

Thank you for reading my first draft! this is my second draft with little to no grammar mistakes. I hope you enjoy the read, any feedback would be fantastic. 

as a yearly boat trip turns tragic, the Clarkson family have there life flipped upside down as young 12-year-old Nathan, born into great wealth, being served on hand and foot, now has to fend for himself to survive on an unforgiving island. unsure of his parent's whereabouts, this is Nathans story of survival.
 
Chapter 1 - A bitter disappointment
The Clarkson family came from a long line of wealth. John Clarkson was one of the top lawyers in his firm. his wife Sarah was a doctor with her own practice while there only child Nathan, 12, knew nothing but the finer things and lived a life of luxury. Every year they would plan a trip and sail the open seas on their private yacht.
 
Nathan ran to the chauffeured car after school that day full of excitement, knowing the boat trip was tomorrow morning. James, the chauffeur and butler for the Clarkson family drove through the long road to the house and parked right outside the front door. Nathan ran into the house and walked into the kitchen where his Dad was sitting on a stool with a glass of whiskey, still in his work suit, his tie was wound down and a couple of buttons on his shirt open.
 
"So where are we sailing to tomorrow, Dad?" Nathan asks.
 
"Well son,  there's an island right in the middle of the Pacific that's completely uninhabited!"
 
Nathan looked up at his Dad, clearly confused "So,  there won't be anything there? What's the point in going then?"
 
"Nathan,  that is the point" John responds as he gives a wink and ruffles his son's blond hair.
 
The family always visited island resorts, with bars,  parks,  spas, safari adventures,  you name it,  they had it. This year however, John wanted to show Nathan a simple side to the world and not spoil him with luxuries.
 
Nathan walked up the spiral staircase to his bedroom feeling deflated. He slowly started to pack his things into his rucksack while thinking hard about what his going to need on his trip. He picked up his laptop, then put it back down. I guess I won't be needing that, I doubt there will be internet where ever Dad is taking us. He packed the essentials, spare underwear, a toothbrush and paste, asthma pump, power bank, phone and a couple bottles of pop for the trip.
 
"Sarah, are you done packing?" John shouted from across the hallway.
 
"yep, ill be with you in a minute hon"
 
John pours himself another glass of whiskey. He shifted in his stool, slowly stirred the glass in circular motions and stared at the two ice cubes swirling around in the glass.
 
"Are you okay?" Sarah said as she walked into the room.
 
John jumped a little bit. "yeah, yeah I'm fine, it's just, I'm not sure Nathan is going to enjoy the trip this year"
 
"Well, wasn't the whole idea of this trip to teach him some real-life values?, he cant live his whole life being waited on hand and foot. as you keep saying hon, he needs to learn how to survive without money and expensive things"
 
"I guess you're right." John responds. "Teaching him to fish, making his own meals and getting physical with nature. We could even make our own hammocks." all these kinds of activates will make him happy after the trip, not before"
 
Sarah smiles, walked over to John and gave him a hug from behind.
 
Meanwhile Nathan was settling into bed, just as he was about to turn his bedside lamp off he heard a knock on the door, it was hes father John, the last person he wanted to speak to.
"Nathan, I know your feeling a bit down because of the trip, but I promise you`ll have fun"
 
Nathan grunts "Dad, I don't want to go to a stupid island in the middle of nowhere! is there even a club house?"
 
"Well, no. there isn't going to be anyone else there, just me, you and your mum, I've heard there is a big pond in the middle of the island though, we could build a rope swing! some quality time will do us good. I`ll teach you a thing or two about being in the wilderness too"
 
Nathan turns over in his bed, feeling more disappointed than before. "a rope swing? I'll be staying on the yacht, thank you very much."
 
John walked over to his bed, and put a book down on he's bedside table - survival 101. "just keep an open mind son, you can read this on the way to the dock in the morning, It might give you some inspiration."
 
Nathan's alarm clock started ringing at 7 am. He rubbed his eyes and saw the book John put down next to him, threw it in his luggage and headed downstairs. The smell of pancakes and bacon the only reason he wanted to leave his room.
 
As he walked into the kitchen, he saw his mum and dad sitting at the large dining table by the open bay windows.
Sarah turned and faced her boy with a smile "Morning son, hows my little angel today?"
 
"ill feel better when I can get WiFi and iceberg water again"
 
John scrunched up his eyebrows. "you have just made this trip a lot easier for me Nathan, I look forward to opening your eyes up to the world"
John threw his newspaper on the table, stood up and left the room.
 
"Nathan, your Dad and I have spoiled you your entire life, he just wants you to grow into the best person you can be"
 
Nathan sat silently at the dinner table and ate his food, whilst Sarah just pushed her leftovers around the plate in awkward silence. She wasn`t expecting the yearly family trip to be full of so much drama.
 
 
Chapter 2 - The road ahead
The Clarkson`s loaded up the car with their luggage, Sarah was sitting in the passenger side putting on her lipstick in the small mirror on the sun visor. John was leaning against the driver side smoking a cigarette, both waiting for their son to come out of the house.
 
Nathan looked down in the dumps as he closed the front door and walked as slow as he could towards the car with his heavy rucksack.
 
John flicked his cigarette across the road. "Come on champ, at least you have 2 weeks off school" Johns attempt to cheer his son up hadn't succeeded.
"whatever" Nathan said as he angrily threw his rucksack in the car.
 
They had been on the road for 20 minutes. All that was heard was the humming noise of the car, as the whole family drove in silence. John was concentrating on driving, Sarah with her head in a book, and Nathan, who was staring out the window wishing he was with his friends in the park.
 
"I know," said John, "I`ll put some music on, how about that?"
Sarah looked up at John, "A wonderful idea"
 
Nathan rolled his eyes and took out the book his Father had given him the night before.
survival 101? I shouldn't need to survive, we can pay people for that! as reluctant as Nathan was, he started to read the book, It was better than listening to his parents singing along to the radio. The first page highlighted berries in the wilderness, with what ones were poisonous and what ones where edible, with a drawing describing what each one looked like. The fourth page taught you how to build a simple bed above the ground with sticks, rocks and large leaves and I diagram showing the finished result.
 
The Clarkson family had been on the road for an hour and a half and Nathan had fallen asleep with the book still in his hand.
"Nathan, wake up honey we`re at the docks" Sarah said as she turned in her seat. Nathan woke and gave a big stretch, put his book back in the rucksack and looked out of the window to see the open ocean, boats in the water, and seagulls hovering about in the sky.
 
John stood up out of the car with a big smile on his face, he put his hands on his waist, held his head high, and took a deep breath in through his nose. "smell that Sarah? nothing like the clean, crisp air to get you going"
"You said it hon, I can't wait to set sail"
 
Sarah and John turned around to see Nathan still sat in the car, texting on his mobile, their face`s soon dropped and the mood lowered. John said to Sarah that he`ll be just a minute and walked over to the car where he opened the door and sat down next to his son.
 
"Nathan, I hope you don't think this is a punishment of some kind, I just feel this year could be an educational one"
Nathan looked at his dad angrily. "well if you were to ever punish someone, THIS would be the perfect way to do it, I can't believe you and mum are doing this to me!"
 
"son" John put his hand on Nathans shoulder. "to see what the world is like when money isn't involved... Its truly inspirational, to see what you can do without it will really show you the importance of a lot of things in life. I wasn`t fortunate enough to be born into money like you have been."
 
Nathan stared at his dad for a second, then turned, opened the car door and got out of the car without saying a word.
 
A casual walk along the pier to the yacht was comforting, the sun shining on their faces and Johns pearly white yacht getting closer and closer towards them as they walked. John and Sarah held hands along the way, whilst Nathan had his earphones in and faced the floor.
 
John threw the luggage over the boat, and the family climbed up the small steps onto the yacht. John stroked the wheel with a big grin, hello old friend. Sarah brought the luggage to the lower deck and started to unpack. Nathan went straight into the cabin, sat on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "there isn't even silk bedding in this place!" 2 weeks, 2 weeks! this cant be real? urgh! I miss my tablet, I even miss The butler!
 
a few hours had passed and the yacht was on the open ocean, it was getting dark and John was struggling to steer as the waters got rough. Nathan and Sarah had fallen asleep in the lower deck, but John had control, he was experienced in driving in rough water.
 
 
Chapter 3 - Sea legs
Nathan and Sarah had got an abrupt wake-up call to the sound of waves crashing against the yacht and John shouting, "Hold on to something!".
Sarah had asked Nathan to stay in the room as she quickly ran above deck to see if John was okay. She went out and was immediately drenched in the storm, rain, thunder, lightning and huge waves that were battering the yacht and everything in it. "John is there anything I can do?"
"no honey, just keep Nathan safe, I`ll try and get us out of this storm"
Sarah was just about to go back down to the lower deck when she saw a wave 30 feet tall coming straight towards them. "JOHN!" she shouted. but it was too late and they entered an abyss.
 
The storm had passed and Nathan woke up to the sound of seagulls, he slowly stood up and looked around to familiarize himself with where he was. stood in the sand he saw a forest in front of him, with the sea to his back, as he turned around he could see parts of the yacht scattered along the beach. "MUM!" "DAD".... "hello?"
 
Nathan quickly came to the realization he was on his own, clearly scared and very cold, he ran towards the wreckage flipping over sheets of metal, and looking underneath large segments of the yacht, he found his rucksack but not his parents. what am I going to do? I`m on my own. Nathan sat down in the middle of the beach hugging himself as he started to cry.
 
A few minutes had past and Nathan was getting colder due to the wet clothes he was wearing, I have to move, I cant feel my fingers. Nathan started walking towards the forest area with his rucksack, he walked for half an hour, through thick bushes, past large trees and over jagged rocks until he came across a pond.
 
"a pond? This must be the island dad was taking us to! thoughts of his mum and dad came rushing back, he put his head down in thought and disappointment, we were meant to build a rope swing here. Nathans eyes began to fill, but he marched on further through the woods.
 
It was getting dark and Nathan had slumped down next to a tree, feeling thirsty he remembered he had some pop in his rucksack, he rummaged through and pulled one out, twisted the cap and took gulp after gulp until half the bottle was empty.
 
as Nathan put the rest of his drink back in the bag, he saw the book survival 101. Nathan had remembered the book included how to build a bed. its a start I guess, hopefully I can get some sleep and mum and dad will find me in the morning.
 
Nathan started to flick through the pages until he found the diagram for a raised bed with step by step instructions.
 
 
  1.    gather two long logs and two short logs. place them in a crisscross pattern on the floor.
  1.    gather small logs and sticks, and place them on top of your log platform.
  1.    look for large palm leaves and place them on top.
  1.    gather rocks to build around your bed for stability.
 
 
Nathan wiped the sweat from his brow as he finished the last step, looking down at his new bed he felt proud of what he had accomplished. It was the first thing Nathan had completed on his own, and the most work he had ever done in his life.
 
As Nathan laid on the bed, he could start to hear the night time animals come to life, twigs started to snap as an animal would step on them, rustling in the bushes as if there was someone watching him and mosquito's buzzing past his ear, Nathan started to wish he built a shelter too.
 
Morning had arrived and Nathan didn't get much sleep, as he sat up and stretched he noticed all the bites on his arms. urgh, I`m so itchy! and I`m starving hungry. Nathan decided to go for a walk, maybe he would find something to eat on the way, wishfully thinking a banana tree would turn up or a vending machine.
 
As Nathan walked through the forest he felt as if he was being watched, starting to slow down and looking closer at his surroundings, Nathan was getting paranoid. he heard the snap of a twig and stood still in his tracks, "Hello?" for once I hope I`m alone right now. He heard a loud snarl of an animal, turned around and saw a bush starting to shake. "please! leave me alone!"
 
All of a sudden he saw a wild hog running towards him with razor-sharp tusks. Nathan screamed and ran in the opposite direction, he climbed up a tree and looked down at the hog sniffing at the roots of the tree. "stupid pig! how dare you chase me you vulgar thing!" I`ll teach that beast a lesson one of these days.
 
Ten minutes had past and the hog had walked off, it was finally safe for Nathan came down from the tree, as he put his feet on the ground Nathans stomach growled with hunger. he put his hand on stomach and carried on walking. I could really go for an eggplant and walnut frittata right now, wheres James when you need him.
 
Nathan grew tired and decided to rest, with nothing else to do he opened up his book started to read the first page. berries! that`s its! I`ll look for berries to eat, that should keep me going. Nathan memorized the drawings of the berries that weren't poisonous and carried on his journey.
 
In the distance Nathan saw some shrubbery with a hint of red, assuming it was a shrub full of berries he ran over to them as fast as he could. Nathan leaned down next to the shrub, picked up a berry and started to examine it, page 3 of the survival book read:  Hawthorn, a familiar, spiny shrub with lobed leaves and red berries. (edible).
Nathan was proud of himself for figuring that out on his own. He packed as many as he could into his rucksack made the trip back to the pond where he would make camp and think about his next move. 
 
being by this pond reminds me of dad, I hope there both okay, i miss them so much. Nathan sat down and started to eat the berries. they didn't taste good but it stopped the bellyache`s and cramps. He washed them down with half bottle of pop he had left over from earlier and decided to get some shut eye. 

 

. 

Certificate PG
Story
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I really like the way in which you've paced this story, and the teenage character is well-drawn (if a little sketchy - he could do with being fleshed out a little). Have you thought out the whole thing? Or will you be writing it as you post?

I missed your first draft, so read that too, before this one. I can see you have definitely done some proof reading and cleared a lot of the typos in Chapter 1 - there are still a few more to work through (eg: 'activates' - activities), and fewer in the following chapters, but still enough to be a slight distraction to your readers. I would happily read more of this though!

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Enjoying reading about Nathen. Looking forward to reading more.

Jenny.