Raining On His Parade

Dan emerged from the endless corridors of comestibles into the crowded checkout area and manoeuvred his trolley onto the tail end of the shortest available queue. As he stared mindlessly through the huge plate glass window into the supermarket car park, the first offerings of an ominous black sky slapped against the glass with threatening intent and thunder rumbled its support in the distance. 

As he scanned the queue, assessing whether he would make it to the safety of his car before the deluge, he spotted Jess loading her trolley at the adjacent check-out and cursed silently under his breath. But it was too late. He'd been spotted. She'd seen him and had waved a frantic semaphore of a wave, clearly indicating that she intended to wait for him in the foyer. His heart sank, his heart rate increased and his conscience protested loudly at being dragged so alarmingly back into service.

'Shopping never was your strong point,' she smiled as he approached. 'What a surprise. Got everything you need?'

Dan cast an anxious look over the contents of his trolley. Clearly enough for two.

'Oh!, you know me Jess, last minute panic shopping as usual. Far more than I need, just in case.'

Jess caught the tell-tale, a split second of deceit revealed in a flash of the eye. An aspect of Dan she knew all too well. She scanned the contents and died a little inside. They told her instantly what she'd suspected for some time.

'I see your diet's improved; yoghurt, Bran Flakes and fizzy elderflower. What's happened to your love affair with sausages and McKewan's Export?'

Dan seized the chance of a diversion and launched into the benefits of healthy living and hopes of losing a few pounds. Jess listened intently and smiled. She couldn't help herself, especially in his presence. She began to feel slightly faint and gripped the trolley handle to steady herself.

'So, where are you living now then, Dan? I redirected a couple of letters to your flat recently, but they came back not known.'

Dan, feeling slightly more uncomfortable by the second, waved at someone he knew across the foyer, with fractionally too much enthusiasm. Jess refused to acknowledge the decoy and stood her ground.

'Er, sorry Jess, what did you say?'

'I asked where you're living now. I've got mail to redirect to you, so a current address would be useful.'

'Don't bother with that Jess, it won't be anything important. I'll call and collect it next time I'm passing.'

'Oh!, it's no bother Dan, it's the least I could do.'

Dan shifted uncomfortably, pulling his trolley theatrically out of the flight path of an overladen shopper as torrential rain began beating the metal roof above their heads.

'Well, to tell you the truth, I've moved into a friend's flat for a while; just until I get somewhere permanent. I might not be there long, so there's not much point giving you the address.' 

Jess's eyes slowly began to betray her feelings and she pulled out a tissue from her coat sleeve and blew her nose, unnecessarily. Dan seized the moment and went into full diversion mode.

'Anyway Jess, what about you? How are things with you since we went our separate ways? I bet you're having a whale of a time now you've got shut of me?'

Jess rallied, tucked away the tissue and stared straight into Dan's eyes. As she expected, he instantly averted his gaze.

'As well as can be expected Dan, after the way you so suddenly upped and went. Sally from work has moved in and shares the monthly rent you left me with, so I'm slowly beginning to get myself back together.'

Dan's mobile rang and he pulled it from his overcoat pocket with evident relief. Jess stared at him as he listened to his caller, refusing to release her grip on him.

'No, they didn't have any, but I'll stop at the chemist on the way back.'

He continued listening, gazing straight past Jess's stare as he did so. 'I'm on my way. About twenty minutes.'

He buried the phone and summoned up enough courage to look Jess in the eye.

'Well it's been lovely to see you again, but I'm afraid I have to dash. I'll ring you some time; when I've got settled.'

The sound bite wafted straight over Jess's head and out into the rain lashed car park, melding with the smoke from her pipe dream as it went. Instinct kicked in and she went onto the offensive.

'Well don't rush off yet Dan, you'll get soaked,' she enthused. 'Tell me all about your flat mate. Is it someone I know?'

The question caught him ill prepared and his hesitation only accentuated the lie that followed.

'Just someone from work. You won't know them.'

The word 'them' hung heavily in the air, inappropriate, guilt laden and horribly exposed. The game was up and Jess went for the jugular.

'It's Beth isn't it, the fizzy elderflower queen,' Jess barked triumphantly for all to hear. 'You're shacked up with Beth. No wonder she's gone cool on me the last few weeks.'

Dan stood motionless, his guilt broadcast for all to hear in the crowded Tesco foyer. A dozen or so shoppers delaying their exposure to the monsoon outside enjoyed the theatre, as Dan's freshly clicked guilt became this week's special offer. Unable to think of any face-saving response, he resorted to type. He barged, red faced, past Jess and launched himself and his trolley out into an instant saturation in the car park.

'That's it you bastard, run away like you always do.' Jess screamed after him.

An elderly lady with wisdom laden eyes stopped at her side and looked knowingly at Jess, touching her gently on the sleeve.

'Don't worry love, you're not the first and you won't be the last. Only good for one thing they are, and most of 'em are no bloody good at that.'

The foyer-rain-avoiding audience burst out into spontaneous laughter, as Jess, now buoyed with new purpose, launched her trolley into an abrupt U-turn and made a bee-line for the Wines & Spirits section.

*Please note that other supermarkets are available.