Chapter Eleven: A Good Pot of Red Sauce

Twenty dollars was not even close to buy a new pair of jeans, let alone, a new outfit. I raided my sister closet. She had nothing. It was obvious from the contents of her closet that she was going through a preppy stage—pink polo’s and green slacks. Yuck! And what was up with the argyle socks? I got on the phone with my Nanna pleading with her to take me shopping downtown. It was Saturday. She said no. It was a waste of money and that she had no problem taking me to Marshal’s which is only a couple blocks away, and not downtown, where she could never find a parking place. At Marshals, she always had a parking place.
I decided to take the bus to Crawford’s on Devon Ave. Maybe, just maybe, I’d find something that was different and on sale!
It was apparent the moment I stepped through the front doors that Crawford’s was an old lady’s store. I wasn’t going to find a thing that I could wear at that place. The racks were lined with polyester pant suits and flowered house dresses; not the look I was really going for! Turning around and heading back out, I ran right into Fran. She was heading to Woolworth’s.
“What were you doing coming out of Crawford’s,” she asked as I fell into step with her. I lied and told her I was looking for a present for my Nanna. We didn’t say anything for awhile as we walked together the next two blocks.
“Are you going to the dance over at Senn?”
“”Hmm, no way, my mom won’t let me.”
“Why, not?” .
“Gangs”.
“What are you talking about?”
“Yeah, there are a lot of gang members that go to that high school.”
“On Ridge Ave.?”
“Yeah, on Ridge Ave,” she said as if I was retarded.
I pretended that I wasn’t worried, but in reality, I didn’t like the whole idea of gang members. I went to a girl’s high-school on the north –side and I don’t think the POM-POM club counted as a gang!
“Well, I’m going,” I said, trying to sound cool except that my voice cracked a little, I coughed it off.
Fran just gave me one of those looks as if she knew something really important but wasn’t going to tell me, her left eyebrow went up, and she had a half smirk on her face as if she was just about to tell me, and then decided not to. I decided not to go into Woolworth’s with her, and left with just a quick –“gotta go” and started walking home. Fran bugged me. She gave off the impression that she was better than everyone else, and she always ate alone in the cafeteria, reading a book. Once when Mai was home sick, and I had no one to eat lunch with, I noticed that Fran and I had a lunch period together every Monday.I went over to her table and asked if I could eat lunch with her. She nodded yes, but never once lifted her big nose from her book. I ate my lunch in silence, which was a first for me.
**
My mother was going to drive me over to Senn-High-school, and I was to meet Mai and Vicki in front of the school at 7:00. I didn’t want to be late just in case they left me, and I didn’t want to run into any gang members by myself! So, I started getting ready by 5: 00 and waited patiently at the dining room table for my mother. I was wearing my usual out-fit—black pants and a white blouse. Of course, I had my hat on, but I decided not to wear the cape. Instead, I was wearing a black rain coat that I had found in the back of the hall closet. I had no idea who it belonged too, but it went with the outfit even though it was two sizes to big for me.
Mother walked in from her afternoon shopping, and took a look at me, and said sarcastically, “oh, are you working tonight at the restaurant.” I didn’t say anything. I kept my mouth shut. No need to start a fight, I needed her to drive me to the dance. I even helped her put away the groceries.
“You know, I went to Senn high-school, she said as she poured herself a cup of coffee, and made herself comfortable at the dining room table, unlacing her gym-shoes, and crossing her legs underneath herself. I looked at the clock above the mantle. It was 5:30. Oh no, I thought, is she going to start reminiscing about her school days? Again, I glanced at the clock. She saw my look and said, “What time do you have to get to your dance?” And before I could answer, the phone rang. “God damnit,” I whispered, “Now she will be on the damn phone for hours. I just hope it isn’t Aunt Stella. That woman can talk for hours without even taking a breath. Please God, make this conversation quick.”
It was Aunt Stella. I could hear her voice through the phone that’s how loud my family talks. I glared at my mother willing her to get off the phone. I sat there drumming my fingers on the dining room table. My father and sister came clamoring up the back stairs. My mother put her finger to her lips and mouthed “shhhh”. My sister came stumping into the dining room and threw herself into a chair, “O my God, are you wearing make-up?” She asked in her valley girl voice. I wanted to hit her, but I restrained myself. I just wanted to get the dance with out any fighting.
Finally, my mother got off the phone.
“Poor Aunt Stella, she is having a really hard time with her new teeth”,
“Really mother do we have to talk about that stuff,” I said getting up and heading to the front door.
“Really, Gianna, what is the hurry? It is just down the street.”
“I don’t want to be late. We are always late for everything. I just want to be on time for Christ sakes,” I screamed as I ran down the stairs. You would have thought there was an earthquake by the way I was stomping those stairs.
“Gianna, calm down. It’s only a damn dance, not your God damn wedding,” my mother shouted as she got into the car. I was slumped over in the passenger seat looking out the window, willing my mother to just start the car and drive.
Finally, we were driving down Devon Ave, over to Ridge Ave. I didn’t say a word to her. She made me so mad. Why does she always have to dittle- dattle around? As we drove down Sheridan and headed over to Ridge Ave, she was going on about how she had to walk to school because most times she never had bus fare. And going on about her first love, Joey, who lived just two blocks from her apartment on Arthur Ave, and how they walked together hand-in-hand to school.
“Here we are,”she said as she stopped in front of the main entrance of Senn High-school. It was very intimidating. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bunch of teenage boys wearing leather biker jackets, who were standing around smoking cigarettes. Could they be gang members? I didn’t see Mai anywhere.
“OK, what are you waiting for? Get out of the car,” my mother said. My heart was racing. The school was huge. It went on for at least three blocks. You could fit at least three of St. Scholastica into this one building.
I scanned the street again to see if Mai was anywhere it sight. I didn’t want to get out of the car until I saw her.
“Ma, how many kids go to this school? I asked.
“Umm, at least 5,000 kids.”
“5,000, no way.”
“There are only 1,200 at St. Scholastica.”
“That’s one of the reasons why I sent you there”.
“Umm, do you think there are any gang members at this school?”
“Gang members, where did you get that idea.
“Oh, nothing,” and then I saw Mai and VICKIE!
“O.k. gotta go,” I said quickly giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Make sure you pick me up at 10:30, and don’t be late.”
**
No one told me that it was a 1950’s sock-hop. No wonder the teenage boys that were lined up against the school wall were all sporting white tee shirts and blue jean rolled up to the ankle and greased back hair, and of course wearing black biker jackets.
Mai and Vickie were dressed up just like they had been transported from the 1950’s: pony tails and big plaid skirts with tight fitting pink sweaters (it appeared as if they had also stuffed their bras because Vickie’s boobs looked a little lopsided) and ankle socks with Keds gym-shoes.
“What the heck?” I said, walking towards them. “You didn’t tell me that we were supposed to dress up like the movie Grease.”
“Oh, did I forget to mention that?” Mai said, looking over at Vicki.
“Yeah, stupid. Once again you look like a freak from a circus.”
”At least I am not an ugly looking Olive Newton John.”
“Come on, we gotta go in or we will be late,” Mai said, trying to defuse the tension.
“But, I can’t go in there looking like this—I am going to feel so out of place.”
“Well, take off the coat and hat,” Mai suggested, and she then turned to Vickie. “Give me your extra a pony tail holder and your brush.” Vicki started digging in her purse.
I flopped myself down on the curb and tried to hold back the tears. “What am I suppose to do with these?” I asked, handing her my raincoat and hat. Mai grabbed them and stuffed them behind a bush in front of the school entrance. “We’ll get them when we leave; nobody is going to steal them”.
“Here,” Vickie handed over her hair brush to Mai. She started to brush my hair back into a high pony tail in the back of my head. I felt like my brains were being squeezed out of my head. “Sit still Gianna,” Mai ordered as she pulled tighter on my hair. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vicki snapping her gum really hard looking away. Several other kids pointed at us as they made there way through the front doors.
“Hurry-up” Vick snapped. Her face was beginning to turn red out of embarrassment.
Walking into the gym, we were blasted with the song—“Your the one that I want.” Mai and Vicki ran to the dance floor and started dancing with some boys, leaving me alone. I was the only girl wearing pants. I felt so out of place, so humiliated, I just wanted to go home. It was only 7:30 what was I going to do with myself for three hours. I went out to the hall and looked for a pay phone and called my mother.
“Come pick me up”.
“But I just dropped you of?.”.
I started to cry and she said she would be right over. I didn’t bother going back into the gym. I ran out of there as fast as I could, ripping the pony tail from my hair and retrieving my coat and hat from the bushes. I was never going to another dance as long as I lived.
“What the hell is wrong with you, my mother asked as I got into her car?
“Nothing”.
“Then why are you crying and looking so pathetic?”
“Why are girls so mean?” I cried.
I started to cry even harder. For once in my life, I was glad to be in the car with my mother driving home. I just felt so awful and I really didn’t know why.
***
I found out later that Mai and Vicki had spent the whole day shopping at thrift stores looking for their sock-hop outfits, and then had gotten ready at Vickie’s house. They didn’t bother to call me and invite me to go shopping with them. I felt set-up and I really didn’t understand why Mai was hanging out with Vicki. Mai had called me Sunday afternoon. She had slept over at Vicki’s after the dance. She asked me where I had gone. She said that Vickie and she had looked all over the place for me. And then finally gave –up looking. “Weren’t you worried,” I asked. ‘Well kind of, but Vickie said that you probably went home”
“Thanks for worrying” I said- hanging –up on her. She didn’t even care. What if I had been kidnapped by some gang members? What if I had been seriously hurt? I flung myself on my bed and cried again. I just didn’t understand why Mai was being so mean to me. Maybe, I was being punished by God for not going to church for the last two months. In fact, my mother had even stopped bugging me to go to church. Oh, I didn’t care anymore. I had really thought Mai was my friend, but she sure hadn’t acted like it last night. She knows how much Vicki teases me, and still she hangs out with her. The thing is all I want is a friend. A true friend that understands me, but then again, maybe Mai and I really don’t have enough in common to really be friends. Maybe, I am just trying too hard, and I should just let it go, but it really bugs me that she went shopping with Vickie and didn’t invite me.
**