Between the Lines Chapter 16

Guno was now twenty-six and was about to finish her Ph.D. degree. Shubho was ok with her working for a nonprofit organization, but I was skeptical. We belonged to a middle-class family and a person's capability in our dictionary was measured by his or her earning capability. Guno also seemed confused as to what she would choose for her first job. At least her Ph.D. was going well, and her professors liked her work. Even though she had almost another year to complete her dissertation, she had already started applying to organizations in the hope of finding a job of her choice. She avoided discussions about her career with us, and I being a cautious mother avoided asking her questions she could be uncomfortable with. I had also stopped asking her about her boyfriend, knowing that she hated that question. But I did want to get her married and being a true Bengali mother, I spent several sleepless nights wondering about her marriage. I had been open enough to accept her choice, knowing that a 'No' would not hold well with my child. She was strong willed like me, and once she had made a decision, it was almost impossible to change her mind, but on the other hand, she was open to advice. If the advice made sense, she would always take it, and that is why I was always unsure of giving advice to Guno. It was because she was always this sensible child who listened to advice, and yet made her own decisions. Her decision of choosing someone she liked as a life partner was probably a right decision considering today's fast lifestyle where marrying according to your parent's choice could not always be the right choice. But I was worried, that she was too emotional, and I hoped everything worked well for her. I could not change her destiny, but I could guard her, and make sure that she was well prepared to face life in all its ups and downs.

I had met Hubert, and he seemed like an ok boy. He was remarkably good looking, slim, and careful, as in communicating with us. At 6 feet 1 inch he towered over Guno, who was barely 5ft 5".  But he was shy. I often felt Guno was too bright for him. She was too lively, while he was too sensitive and quiet. He had found a great job already, and at least financially he would be able to support my child if she decided not to work in future. But was he strong enough to be a husband or father, I had serious doubts about that. I thought he was quite soft natured, and Guno might have to take the lead when it came to managing things at home, that is if they got married at all. But then, I knew from my relationship with Shubho, that it was always better to have the women on the lead in a household rather than a man, as things could then become extremely difficult for the woman in certain situations. After all, in any marriage, it was the woman who was rooster of the home, just by her biology of being a woman. Children were always associated with the mother, and a home without a mother was just a house. Again thanks to my Bengali thinking of associating a home with a woman, but then, I had not seen any households where the home was a place to unwind when it was the man who ran it. 

"Mom, I made it through the final round of the interview with Lyod", Guno told me.She was her bubbly self in her bright pink dress, reminding me of her when she was one, and we had celebrated her first birthday. Guno had just come home for her spring break. It was her last year at the university, and she was hoping to start work from December that year."That is such a good news. Where was it you said this company was", I asked her. I couldn't quite remember, was it Canada or perhaps the west coast. "This one is the one in Singapore mom", Guno said. She had dropped another bomb, this was the second time in a span fo a few years. The first time, it was when she told me about Hubert. I was dumbfounded. I put the kettle down, switched off the oven, in which I was baking some chicken tikka for dinner."But that is the other end of the world. How are you going to live so far away from us?", I asked her. I was totally perplexed.I just couldn't figure out, why she had even chosen to consider such an option. "Mom, I have been staying away from you guys for seven years now. It hardly matters if it is a few hours away or a few flights away, Don't you think so?", Guno kind of queried me. Letting her go to Berkley was a tough decision for me, but letting her go to a distant land, we had never been, seemed like an impossible option to me. No, I could never do that! We argued for hours in the kitchen, and later in our family area that day. Retiring to our family room was kind of a ritual in our house for all of us to unwind after dinner. As usual, I gave in. My daughter was good at convincing me, and I realized, she really liked the prospects of her new job and refusing her a chance to see a new world would be a bit unfair, especially since she anyways lived on her own now.

Shubho had called to say that he was going for a dinner with his senior colleague, and would be late, so it was just me and Guno at home for dinner. We decided to go out to a Mexican diner, and left the chicken tikkas to cool at home to my delight. The diner was near our house, and kind of homely. We ordered Fajitas. "But it is a Chinese country, have you checked whether it is safe enough. I mean from a working woman's perspective", I asked her.  I looked at the empty tables and then reverted my attention back to our conversation. "I mean, definitely I will go with you and stay there, till everything is settled, and you have found a safe place, but I am worried, this may not be a good idea", I said, hoping she would listen to my advice. But Guno had already made a decision. She replied, "Mom, Singapore is a modern country, and very safe, and no it is not Chinese, although a major portion of the population is Chinese, it is a fairly liberal democracy, from what I hear from friends who have lived there", Guno replied. "But if you want to come there with me, I was thinking of going there this summer, just to check out the place for a few days, maybe a week", Guno added, her eyes staring at me with the imploring look, she had when she wanted an ice cream as a kid. The waiter had brought in the dessert menu. Though we were a regular at the diner, the guy didn't seem to recognize us. I ordered two cups of caffe latte with caramel topping. The waiter cleared our tables and left us at our conversation. Gunos decision to go to Singapore for her job seemed a risky decision, but at least it was closer to India. I could visit her and my home there more often. I calculated the stakes in my mind. The smell of fresh coffee cleared my head. "Ok, let me talk to your dad, He may want to come", I replied. Guno raised her eyes as if to say something, and then she put her thumbs down, and replied, "Whatever, mom". She loved her father, but traveling with Shubo was a different deal altogether, both I and Guno knew that. He was bossy and complaining, and a nervous wreck, especially when he traveled with us. The look of our suitcases, make him mad with rage.We kind of liked that fact. At least for a change, his nagging remarks under the circumstances would not be coming from out of the blue. 

We returned home, and I made Guno her favorite milk with almonds and saffron. We settled in the couch in our family area, and I switched on the television to hunt for Chanel News Asia. I had seen it while surfing, it aired news from southeast Asia. Guno was busy checking emails on her laptop. I decided to ask the dreaded question. "But what about Hubert? Will he stay in San Fransisco? When are you guys going to get married anyways", I questioned my decisive daughter. "Mom, let me first start working. Hubert, is already planning to start looking for a job there, as he is not enjoying his current job. We will take a call next year", Guno replied. "Has Hubert lost his job?", I asked, panicking. "Mom, why are you so pessimistic? No, he is doing very well. It's just something he is considering, since I am moving there, I hope that is not a problem for you or is it?", she said irritatingly. "Now, please don't start questioning on our marriage plans again", she added, and stomped out of the room, literally banging her laptop on the coffee table.I could sense a tension in her voice, and I felt like curling back in the sofa I sitting in. I wanted to support my little angel in every way that I could, but when she sometimes retaliated like on this instance, I got jittery. Was I being a good mom? Was my decision of accepting her friendship with Hubert a correct one? Should I just have married her off to a Bengali boy, like my friend Lata when she had told me about Hubert?, And, not given her a chance to make the biggest decision of her life by herself? Well, at least she had found a job. I was happy to know that.

Come August, we packed our bags and got ready for our first ever trip to Singapore. Shubho had taken Guno's decision to take up a job in Singapore quite positively. He still had a negative opinion of Hubert though. Our flight was delayed, and Shubho, as usual, complained about the weight of our suitcases. It's not like we refused to carry our suitcases, but my husband being my husband, loved to snatch them from our hands, and create a show of a toppling dancer with heavy luggage in the airport lounge.

Singapore, the city itself, was a pleasant surprise to us. Squeaky clean roads, smooth traffic, and convenient public transport were a boon to travelers like us, who hated driving in busy roads. And the hotel in which we stayed had excellent service. Barring the hot weather, everything else was a pleasure to experience. I went out with Guno a few nights, walking on the streets in Orchard road, in the downtown area, and it seemed pretty safe. From my conversations with some of the Indian women I had met at the hotel, and a local temple, I was able to gather, that it was a very safe city, even if you were traveling alone in the wee hours past midnight. I was so delighted and relieved to see the modernity of the city. I had also found out about a distant relative, who had been living in the city since the last forty years, and I visited her. Insights into the lifestyle, and work culture of the city, provided by my long lost relative put any of my left over inhibitions to rest.