Journal: New Year's Day

Well, that sushi gave me some gas late last night but I didn't mind.
No stench, no success. Today has been a little rough. I called that
girl back and got pizza for us for lunch. As I feared, she rejected me.
It was another one of these online things where you've never met the
person. My picture's accurate and I'm not bad looking. No, it has more
to do with a simple fact. I am different from the cookie-cutter shape
that society forces on people. And so I'm not acceptable to all these
conformists.
And anytime anybody steps out of the box and wants to give me a try,
the system knocks them right back in. There was this hippie girl Leah
about three months. We went on a couple dates, she was looking through
my art-book and read some of my poetry. She was really into me. And
then all her friends started telling her about these horrible rumours
about me. I made an anti-capitalist painting with a (gasp) vagina in
it. I beat my girlfriend horribly. Actually, my ex assaulted me,
punched me twice and I punched her back once in order to leave the
apartment. So the legal system screws me and then that stands as social
evidence against me. But here's the rub: her new friends were RAs who
worked for the school and could fire her. If she'd gone with me, they
would have. That's what she told me she was afraid and I believe her. I
know how this BS works; I've seen it in action.
And I've been re-thinking a lot of things, trying to open myself up to
the modern world and the good things about our society. But I stand by
certain things. There are certain evil authorities that I am at war
with. I didn't start the war but I will never surrender. This might be
a dramatic way of saying it but there's a lot of truth in it. I have
been a victim of a society that values cookie-cutter conformity,
patriarchal values and greed, yes, above all, Greed. And so many things
that seem so separate are all part of the same agenda. These fascist
Republicans and these wishy-washy liberals: two sides to the same
machine. Sports may seem like entertainment but really they're a way of
distracting people from politics and getting them to exalt mindless
machoness and apple pie eating, Indonesian children raping, American
values.
Moving on to related issues, this Asian Tsnumai was probably the
result of Global Warming. Most of the rest of this bizzare weather has
been, at least according to the scientific community. And so the
American Press weeps and weeps and everything is about how we can help
these poor Asian kids. Well, we could sign the Kyoto Treaty.
No, I'm sick of all this Bush-loving. The "liberal" press won't even
touch him these days. It's all about our great society and our great
President. Well, I'm standing firm. These Republicans and their
political agenda is a bad con job and nothing else. They are morally
wrong, end of story. There's no unifying the country under a
tyrant.
Moving on, this is my fifth day dry. I'm depressed right now but I'm
going to stick to it.