sick-bed reflections... or 'rant'

              I'm exhausted to write... though I feel a sense of urgency...  I've said similar things before, but I'm hoping cultural developments will help my message be received not only internationally, where I've found my most sympathetic audience, but also in America...  and in my own city and life...  though what I have to say is bitter medicine to conventional wisdom...  which is however moving rapidly in my direction on myriad issues, though it finds me spiritually traumatized, physically decimated, and barely alive.

            I want to simply note that over the last decade(starting circa a decade ago,) I wrote many passionate and reasoned letters to the editor regarding police brutality(and more significantly, police dishonesty) here in the U.S.A.. I ran up against a wall of cultural taboo and stopped publishing these in the local newspapers eventually...  but more recently I did "break down" and blatantly though peacably 'defended' my home against invading police, which in my nation and place is usually a death-wish in all truth...  but "mental health" and related policing was a radical trend at the moment and this combined with good luck, allowed me to twice thoughrily say my piece and survive safely.  However, popular at that point, I virtually reached out to my social network and thereupon entered a period of perilous ostracism I'm just now emerging from socially and in other ways.

           A sizeable fraction of American police(bouncers and omni-present private 'security' (of prejudice guards) are dishonestly brutal in the United States of America...  please make no mistake about it...  but the larger problem can be summed up in two word: 'corrupt conformity...'  a rare simplicity of reality.  For example, let's take the field of medicine(especially in America:) when supposedly educated and independent(let alone economically marginalized) people face health issues...  they go to their commanding officer, who is called a "doctor..."  as in other fields.

          This doctor then briefly and superficially assesses them...  and passes on the social prescription(in a so-called 'democracy.')  Meanwhile, on the internet or in a medical encyclopedia, there sits a massive amount of non-superficial information(by centuries if the seeker is wise...)  and yet to most individuals, this data is entirely useless because they may not do anything their doctor doesn't think up or approve.  This all sounds terrible and negative...  (to the conventional perception, which is deluded...)  but it must be said because it's the pressing reality.

          If the commanding officer, or doctor, approves a medicine, it's a medicine(after time has earned a substance this mediocre tradition in some cases..)  but if a professor, a farmer, or a free-thinker desires to intake a simple chemical: it's a drug.  The private citizen is trusted no more than a chained dog...  though he is offered every illusion of affluence and influence.  When will this madness stop...  and when will the madding crowd stop persecuting reasoned dissenters under the apperture of psychiatry?  This all is most tiresome...  one starts to sound like Macbeth: "Life is a tale told by an idiot..." but how can one avoid this when the whole society and day is carried by shallow "sound and fury..."

           And when an issue is decided like police brutality: when are amends made?  My whole life is ruined by the dishonest savagery of a handful of individuals...  two or three immense ones were police officers.  I seek no vengeance and would never willfully seek to the very problem I diagnose: a culture of violent and primitive conformity...  but I can't ape content.  Again, when are amends made?  If the Bastille is judged vile by the press and educated classes(like Pontiuis Pilate washing his hands...)  then they have a moral metaphoric duty to come to the aid of the prisoners...  their neighbors perhaps.  Indeed, to re-think an issue: what about slavery reparations?  Our society bustles with trendy talk of embracing the black community: so how about fifty-thousand apiece, just to show some sincerity of philosophy regarding a century of damage to their selves and all important 'property?'

           But the(quiet and cowardly) thinking goes(as it goes with 'craven lunatics' like myself...)  that such people are incapable of intelligent use of resources...  and so are paid lip-service, but are still dis-empowered and degraded on every conceivable level.  But with 50,000 dollars and empowered use of a 'medical encyclopedia...'  some of us could practically and ethically put today's society to the shame it so eminently deserves.