The Reluctant Widow part 5

The chance to talk never arose. At dinner the conversation was polite but pointless and afterwards Jenny retired to her room, the vicar to his study, leaving Simon to submerge into speculation.
The following morning wasn’t any better. The atmosphere was tense, the participants tight lipped, Simon’s curiosity thwarted by every mouthful of toast. Attempts at communication with Jenny, were met with avoidance. He spent the morning in a limbo of uncertainty, finally retreating to his bedroom. Just after eleven o’clock he happened to look out of the window, catching sight of Jenny following the Reverent into the church.
Of course - Sunday Service.
Simon lay on his bed wondering what to do. He assumed that the service would soon begin, should he join in? It would be a good chance to meet the villagers although...a nasty vision of Dibney’s widow making an arthritic leap at him, giant stick in hand, flashed before his eyes. Wiser to stay away. But then, misplaced curiosity didn’t only apply to cats. Well, stay in the background then.
He made his way through the grey cemetery pausing before the church door. The sound of organ music filtered out into the grey light. He paused by the door, that same uncanny feeling of intruding coming over him. Why did he find all things Holy so disturbing? The legacy of a believing mother and a sceptic father. From the one he was inspired to a profound admiration for Jesus as a man and teacher, from the other an equally profound disgust at the atrocities which had been perpetrated in His name. Simon's mind filled with unpleasant thoughts.
Faith...Jenny’s tears...my parents’ smashed bodies...that drunken murderer sober the next day, as full of God as the rest us? What is there to believe in after that? Mum believed and God abandoned her...what use is faith when all is pure chance? All in the past yet it still churns in my stomach...the injustice...the brutality of God’s love!
The old church door creaked in complaint as he entered. He squinted his eyes into the dim light.
The church was empty!
As the organ music stopped, Reverend Stones stood up in the pulpit and began his sermon; preaching to nobody except Jenny, small and concentrated on the foremost pew. The sum of things was truly crooked - a derelict church and graveyard, a mysterious young woman worn out by God, a chuckling grocer predicting doom, and now a Sunday service without a congregation. There were only so many things a blow on the head could explain!
He stepped forward, to the obvious annoyance of the vicar, who stopped in mid sentence, throwing a look of hurt betrayal first at him then at Jenny. Undaunted Simon sat down in the opposite pew to her, noticing the flush on her face. A heavy silence followed. John Stones looked down at his text as if considering his options then straightened, cleared his throat and continued the service. Simon was too preoccupied to take note of its contents, being caught unawares as the organ started again and Jenny stood up. Choral harmonies filled the church. Jenny was already singing along in a small but pure soprano as Simon got to his feet. Bemused, he shuffled next to her, sharing her hymn sheet. This is all completely absurd, he thought, but nevertheless he joined in, his voice falling in a crevice between bass and baritone. Looking up at the vicar he could see the conviction in his earnest face as he gusted out a hymn to the Lord.
The organ brandished a last cadence as the choir sang “Amen” bringing Simon and Jenny’s ungainly duo to a close. The Reverend descended to the altar and said a short prayer for deliverance; then, with one long look at Jenny, disappeared into the shadows.
Simon waited a while, hoping he wouldn’t have to ask the obvious question. Jenny’s face was bowed and shadowed, her silence thickening the air between them. Slowly, deliberately she folded the hymn sheet in her slender trembling hands. Simon couldn’t quite see if her lips were moving. At last she turned a sad face to him saying, ‘I know this must look strange.’
‘I think we’re beyond strange, Jenny. This is bizarre.’
‘The Reverend is angry with me. He told me to lock the door, to keep you out.’
‘Why didn’t you?’
Jenny rocked gently to and fro holding the hymn sheet close to her bosom as if seeking protection. ‘I don’t know. I was standing there ready to turn the key then...’ she stared at him, pale and enigmatic. ‘I knew God must decide if you came in or not.’
Simon was getting impatient but knew that forcing things would not help. He knelt down in front of Jenny, noticing at once how tense she was, clutching that small stupid piece of paper to her trembling body as if her life depended on it.
‘What’s going on Jenny. Where are the people?’
She was somewhere beyond him in her gaze, unaware of his question. ‘John thinks it important that we...keep things going.’
‘The people!’
‘We must try...to preserve...’
‘Jenny!’
His shout finally drew her round. ‘Jenny...I’m...in a maze here. Only you can lead me out.’
Her eyes suddenly filled with tears. ‘John...is a proud man...and...oh Simon...they’re crucifying him...and it’s all my fault!’ She fell forward sobbing loudly, resting her forehead on her arms. Simon moved beside her embracing her narrow heaving shoulders, letting her anguish subside a little before saying, ‘Jenny, please tell me one thing I can make sense of.’
She sat upright, wiping her eyes with a lace handkerchief. ‘You want to know where the people are?’ she gasped. ‘Nobody...has set foot in the vicarage for...two years!’
‘Two years! Why?’
‘They’re...afraid. That’s what Parry was trying to warn you about. They stay away for their own protection.’
‘What are they afraid of?’
‘Me.’
‘You! Jenny that’s preposterous. How could anyone be scared of someone as gentle and kind as...’
‘Because I’m cursed!’
The word exploded from her, echoing in the high vaults of the church. Anguish wrenched her body forward against him, hands clutching his arms, tears streaming down her face. Simon felt the force of her despair reach to the core of his being. He hugged her tight, running his hand lightly over her silky hair. ‘Jenny...Jenny for God’s sake tell me what this is all about.’
‘I think I can satisfy your curiosity, Simon.’
Reverend Stones suddenly appeared beside them. ‘Jenny ought to rest,’ he said quietly, taking her from Simon’s arms. ‘I’ll see that she’s all right. If you'll wait in my study, I’ll be along shortly.’