The Reluctant Widow part 9

‘My God,’ Simon breathed. ‘He made you watch?’
‘Yes,’ Jenny moaned softly. ‘It was all part of his revenge. The uneasy feeling I had was some unconscious knowledge of Billy’s presence, though he didn’t show himself until it was too late.’
‘You must have been terrified.’
‘You can’t imagine what I felt...not just the agony of Sam’s death...I was terrified that Billy would come for me. I shut myself in my bedroom and cried the whole night, every moment expecting Billy to strike. By dawn I was exhausted but had to keep thinking. I was the only one who knew what had happened to Sam...once he was missed and they went searching? Should I tell? If they find out about Billy they might turn on me. God knows what they would do? Such thoughts and fears turned and turned in my head until I wanted to scream, but I knew I couldn't. I must silent...today...
tomorrow...never a word...never...’
‘Jenny...if you want to stop...’
‘No...you must hear the rest,’ she hugged her arms tight to her body, shivering slightly. ‘They found Sam’s dismembered body in the woods. Then came all the questions...rumours...strange lights...weird noises.
I kept quiet...lived every moment in fear...lied if I had to, even though I knew I was sinning.’
‘You can’t blame yourself Jenny. Sam was dead and nothing could bring him back. You were right to protect yourself.’
‘A sin is a sin.’
‘You’re too hard on yourself.’
‘Perhaps...I don’t know.’
‘At least it stopped them pestering you.’
‘Yes...some...most people assumed that Sam had been killed by a crazed wolf or a wild dog; others saw something more sinister. They were suspicious...I could see it in their eyes...the way they treated me. Some were openly hostile, saying that this was the curse Billy had put upon me the day he died. Someone pushed a note under our front door, “Two loves, two dead, who’s next?” was crudely written on it. Even in church every Sunday, I could feel the animosity as I handed out the hymn sheets. I was desperate Simon...desperate to confide in somebody. The only person I could turn to was John. One Sunday after the service I stayed behind, begged him to hear my story. I saw the horror fill his eyes as I told him what Billy had done. He understood my staying silent...said he would do whatever he could to help. I was so relieved that I had at least one friend in the village.’
‘Couldn’t you have told your parents?’
‘Oh Simon they had suffered so much...the pain had already cut deep into them. My father slipped into an inner world to shelter from misery and my mother...the strain broke her health. She collapsed one day while I was at school...she never regained consciousness. The doctor said that her heart could take no more tragedy. After her funeral I vowed never to get close to anyone again. I became a recluse...work...caring for father...nothing more. The only friends I had were John and Mrs. Drewry, our neighbour. She said it was scandalous the things people were saying about me. She offered to look after my father during the day so that I could keep working. Her husband had died years before but her son Colin was still at home.’
‘Colin...the third grave?’
‘Yes,’ Jenny face was stricken once more. ‘Senseless...so senseless. He was just a young boy, no more than eighteen or nineteen. My father was an invalid but still very stubborn; he insisted on sleeping in his own bed upstairs, even though the stairs were impossible for him without help. My mother had offered to make a bed for him in our back room but he refused, so every evening we helped him upstairs and put him to bed. Once my mother died I couldn’t manage on my own, so Colin helped out...morning and evening. Oh Simon I swear that I never encouraged him...I kept my distance.’
‘But?’
‘He was young...he...had a crush on me...he must have thought it was love. I tried to dissuade him. You have to believe me...I was never in love with him!’
‘But Billy thought otherwise?’
‘I don’t know...I think it was pure hatred which made him kill again.’
A wave of nausea swelled inside her as another gruesome image presented itself.
‘We’d just got my father to bed. I asked Colin if he wanted to drink something before going home. He jumped at the chance. I knew immediately that I’d made a mistake.’
‘That crush of his?’
‘Yes. He was tall, awkward, a little like Billy, but with a far gentler nature. I knew I “affected” him. Normally I made sure that he left quickly after helping me. That evening though, I was sad...it was the anniversary of my wedding day.’
‘I see.’
‘I’d been feeling low the whole day. Everything was pressing down on me. Tom...Sam...there seemed nothing but pain and death wherever I looked. I was tired Simon, not thinking straight. We were sitting on the sofa where I’d sat years before with Tom and Sam, talking about happy futures. There was nothing but torment inside me that evening. Colin was saying something...I don’t know what. I felt tears running down my cheeks...his arm around my shoulder. I was so desperate to be comforted that I let it all happen. Confusion...it was all confusion in me...I looked up through my tears and saw Tom smiling at me...telling me it was all right...that he’d look after me...then...his lips were on mine...that same sweet kiss after our wedding vows...I was safe...safe...’
Jenny’s face radiated sublimely for a brief moment, before contorting once more in pain.
‘Then this sick feeling overwhelmed me...brought me back to reality. Colin was staring at me...I could hear my father calling from upstairs. Colin was too wrapped up in me, to hear the terror in his voice. “I’ll go” he said, and was gone before I could stop him...up the stairs...where Billy was waiting for him.
“Billy don’t...he’s only a boy!” I screamed and ran after him but was thrown to the floor, held there by some kind of force. In my mind I could see what was happening upstairs. Billy made sure I didn’t miss anything. I saw his evil presence filling the room, making everything glow with a silvery tint...my father’s wild stare...Colin forced to his knees terrified...Billy cursing...wailing. He moved behind Colin...covered his face with those dreadful ghostly hands...then...then...tore Colin’s face open! I could hear his screams of agony as Billy ripped the flesh clean from his skull...blood...so much blood...Billy wailing in triumph...my father covered in blood...still staring...as dead as the mutilated corpse which Billy threw to the floor. The horror had been too much for him. I wept...screamed but could do nothing until Billy released me.
Then it was complete chaos; the front door banging open, people rushing in shouting, pushing upstairs, Mrs. Drewry in hysterics, shouts of murder, murder everywhere. The whole village gathered outside, I was forced before them...people yelling that they’d seen Billy leaving the house...that Colin was dead because of me...because of my curse...some were in panic...convinced that Billy would come back and kill them all. When I tried to speak they shouted me down...gripped my arms as if they wanted to tear me apart...others were ready to kill me I’m sure...all the people who had been so kind, so understanding after Tom’s death...those same faces now filled with hatred. I could barely stand...my heart was bursting; let them kill me I thought...let it all end here.’
‘But the Reverend stopped them?’
‘Someone must have warned him; he was there suddenly, holding me, protecting me against their wrath. They raged at him but no-one dared defy his command to disperse.

“Go back to your homes...I’ll take care of Jenny.”
“She must go...be banished from the village before we’re all murdered!”

I begged John to let them take me...let me die...instead he brought me back to the vicarage...kept me safe.’
‘That’s when the villagers abandoned you both?’
‘Yes...after Colin and my father were buried.’
‘Two years ago?’
‘Yes,’ Jenny sobbed.‘I have been spared nothing Simon...not one moment of pain. Billy has destroyed everyone I have loved or cared for. Now do you see why you must leave?’
‘Jenny...how can I leave you like this?’
‘You must! It may already be too late.’ She gripped his shoulders tightly. ‘No more blood...no more...tomorrow you’ll leave. I beg you Simon, just go!’

The night passed but the tension did not. After tortuous searching in the dim light of her room, Jenny was sure of two things - her love for Simon and her determination to make him leave. Her thoughts drifted back to the night of Simon’s crash and how she had nursed him through his fever.
That voice...I thought it was a sign...that somehow...no...it was a trick... perhaps God has truly abandoned me?
Billy’s curse will never be broken.

Simon too, struggled through the night. His love for Jenny menacingly intertwined with the pain of Billy’s warning. Which was stronger, his love or his fear?

The Reverend prayed more desperately than he had ever done.
“Is God merciful?”
Simon’s question plagued him still. The dreadful, unspeakable thing was, that he had no answer; there was nothing left in John Stones except a horrible gaping question - where was God? The murder of Tom, the mutilation of Sam and Colin...what comfort had he to offer Jenny...the Love of God?
Has He abandoned us?
I must believe...have faith.
God is merciful.
‘Look down on us Dear God and see our suffering.’
More words. Is that all you have John Stones?
Rituals?
“What purpose is there in putting Jenny through this Hell?”
Again Simon’s question, like a dagger through my heart. Why can’t I answer him?
Dear God...do not forsake me!

Late the next morning, Simon’s car was returned, parked on a verge not a stone’s throw from where he’d crashed. He stood by the vehicle silent and mournful. Jenny had made everything ready for his departure, without saying a word.
Really time to go?...his mind ached with indecision. He searched in Jenny’s eyes, seeing nothing but grey stones without meaning. The Reverend shook his hand and wished him well. He turned to Jenny, his thoughts, words choked inside.
‘Have a safe journey Simon.’ Her voice was unsteady, barely a whisper.
‘Jenny I...’
‘You must forget us. Forget all that has happened.’
‘I can’t, you know that.’
‘For my sake...and yours.’
‘Jenny listen...’
‘Please...Simon...get in the car.’ Tears glistened on her cheeks as she fought to control herself. Simon had to fight back his own tears as he kissed Jenny’s forehead tenderly.
‘I’ll never forget you Jenny,’ he gasped with a broken voice.
Simon got in the car and, with one final glance, drove slowly away.
‘It’s for the best, Jenny.’ John Stones’s voice was full and sad.
‘I know,’ Jenny said, still staring after Simon.
‘I know!’