Eish! London 21 - 23 July

Tuesday, 21 July
The tension in my back, and my need to see a chiropractor was getting so bad I went for a Chinese Massage in the hope of easing the pain. £25 and it helped briefly, until I got ‘home’; where Martha decided to confront me for no good reason at all. Earlier in the month the two of us had a bit of an ‘altercation’. Seeing as I was now in a ‘first world’ country I had decided to take the moral high ground and I’ve been giving her the polite cold shoulder since; until she forced conversation this evening.

She arrived home from work all ticked off because she had to wait for the shower this morning because she got up earlier than usual (previously she had told me she only has to be at work at 10h00, and I have to be in by 08h30 at the latest!). So she confronts me in the kitchen as I’m cooking my dinner. She arrives home all red in the face and starts in an angry, holier than thou tone, without even a ‘hello’, telling me: “What time do you have to shower in the morning?”

You do not approach me like that, ever! It gets my blood boiling! I felt my temperature rising. I stopped what I was doing, turned to face her, and with an unbelievably icy, calm, straight look into her eyes I replied in a cool, cold tone: “My times change every morning, but if you want to wash you hair, you’ll have to let us know the night before.” I was referring to the last time she made a fuss about washing her hair and needing the shower earlier.
She looked at me, slightly less confident now, “No, not my hair. I have to shower by 07h10; I need 20 minutes, Ara takes 20 minutes too.”
“Actually,” I said, I hadn’t moved or stopped staring at her, “Ara takes 30 minutes; as she did this morning.”
She commented, “Ara uses both bathrooms.”
If you were there, you could’ve sliced the air between us with the kitchen knife next to me.
“If you like we can put a schedule on the door and we can fill it in every night.” I say calmly and objectively, with only an inkling possibility of patronising sarcasm. Thinking: Don’t mess with me girl; I can make this a really big deal for everyone to see if you like.
She changed her stance. “No, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to be like that. In my last house we all took 20 minutes each morning, and we had our times. Ara also needs to know when she can shower and how the times work.”
I: “Well a schedule would help do that for everyone and solve the problem. Wouldn’t it?”
Her: “I don’t want to go to that.”
I: “Then I’m afraid I can’t help you, my schedule is different every morning; I’m not a routine person.” I was not going to budge whilst looking at her and thinking: What do you want here exactly? There have been hardly any problems in three months. “I don’t have set routines and times; every day is different for me, depending on whether I’m at a school, a Scheme or in the office.” I still hadn’t moved a muscle, “What time do you want the shower?”
She: “I need to be in the shower at quarter past 7.”
I: “Fine, then I’ll make sure I’m not in the shower at quarter past seven.”
She: “Fine… thanks.” She had now simmered down to civilised conversation. I felt my blood pressure returning to normal. I hate confrontations, but I’m not about to stand down if I feel the circumstances and way I’m treated are unjust. At least she wasn’t irrationally angry anymore.
Me: “I’m not sure why you are so angry about this; as far as I know there have only been 3 times in three months where there has been a morning shower clash.”
Her: “I’m not angry, I’m just missioning today. Even everyone at the office said I am missioning today.” She didn’t know quite what to do with herself.
Me: “Yes, well this has only happened a few times in the last 3 months. I don’t see it as a big problem.” I returned to preparing my dinner.
Hesitantly she changed her story, “No there haven’t been any problems. It isn’t a problem.” She’s fumbling, “I just want to make sure there is no problem in the future.”
The future? What on earth was she on about? We are all supposed to be moving out soon. All I knew was that I was not going to give her the benefit of an argument with me to release whatever had gone on at work when she hadn’t been adult enough to speak to me in a respectful fashion! And in the mood she had put me in I was buggered if I was going to be nice!
I said: “Alright then, in the future you can have the shower in the morning at quarter past seven.”
She tried to patch up the situation: “Ok, then I’ll tell Ara about the shower time.”
I said: “I’ll speak to Ara. The time before you shower is between us and I haven’t noticed a problem. Sometimes she’s early or late, sometimes I’m early or late, sometimes we meet at exactly the same time and then I head downstairs and have breakfast, or she has a bath instead. There is no need for you to be a go-between. Ara and I will discuss it, as it concerns only the two of us.” I made sure my tone was one that said: Finished and klaar (completely finished) as I methodically used the knife to cut carrots.
She then tried not to look like she was completely unbalanced within herself and tried to make chit chat. I offered polite one word answers to her attempts. She needed to sort something out within herself and I wasn’t in the mood to help. Thankfully she got my vibes and left shortly after her chit chat efforts.

I spoke to Ara that night saying: “Martha said that you aren’t happy with the showering story in the morning and you want specific times.”
Ara looked at me and shrugged. She’s always been really chilled out with this type of thing; and I think she was sizing up what I was getting to.
I continued: “Do you want to change the shower times? Or are you happy with things the way things are?”
Ara answered: “I usually need the shower around 06h30, but it doesn’t really matter to me.”
I reply: “Great, then there’s no trouble at all.” See, simple. I hope Martha sorts out whatever her ‘mission’ is about. (Note: When living in a house with other people, choose your battles very carefully.)

As Ara wasn’t too busy I asked her about the chiropractor she had mentioned previously, because I was battling so badly that the time had come to do something about it. She was really helpful and explained the process she had gone through with her chiropractors in Finchley Road. She gave me all their details and the costs involved. I gratefully took them and was happy that she had been to them and they hadn’t done any damage. I knew I had to be careful who I chose as they would be fiddling with my bones!

Positive news for the day: I’m all booked for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival! I’m going to be in my element, 2000 shows in 400 venues. It’s going to be incredible!

Wednesday, 22 July
When I voted at the South African Embassy in April and they were handing out The South African newspapers, and I signed up for their online paper (Note – you can get a copy outside Charing Cross station each week for free if you want one – unless they have stopped paper publishing when you read this). I received a weekly email, which was great for up to date information like:
The South African Rand traded between 12.90 and 13.33 to the Pound during the week of the 17th to the 21st of July

It was useful because I had to make an international transfer to my South African bank account; it was quite a mission to fill in the transfer details:
- The Beneficiary Bank’s details
- All Bank Account’s details (The actual Bank’s name, address and the account numbers)
- The Beneficiary’s details (which was me so that was easy!)
- Details of the transaction (I had to have something sensible there that didn’t make it look like I was laundering money.)
The amount debited: £500.00,
The transaction fee: £9.00,
The exchange rate: 12.54, (Yay! Bonus rate from the bank!)
The amount that arrived to be held by my bank in SA was R6, 270.35.

My bank in South Africa emailed me to say that an international transfer had been made into my account and I had to email or call them with the details of why I was getting the money before they would release it. I emailed them and gave them my Mom’s number to call, as I gave her power of attorney before I left. Fortunately it all worked out fine and they released the funds. Banking has always been a very serious affair in South Africa, which is why London Banks have surprised me with their open and relaxed setup.

Thursday, 23 July
As the Schemes were now all complete for the summer holidays the TC hosted an end of year event where some of the Officers who volunteered on the Schemes came along, listened to a talk, had some snacks and mingled. I was on door duty and managed to see quite a few of the Officers I had met during the term. I almost felt like a real part of the team. It was a good feeling, and the event was very successful too.