Eish! London 29 July

Wednesday, 29 July
Today I had to eat humble pie. After my being decidedly unimpressed with the behaviour of some of my housemates and deciding that they weren’t the kind of people I could form a long term friendship with; today I needed their help. Martha became my “Swine Flu Buddy”, the government told everyone not to leave their homes if they had Swine Flu. Martha was fantastic and woke up early to head to the pharmacy for me, she came back with some fruit juice and apples and the box of Tamiflu; and Ara offered to get any groceries I needed. I was very grateful for their help and had to stop being passive aggressive with regards to their loud parties and different ways of doing things. I had to remind myself not to be hypocritical and listen to my own words that we are all human and all need each other; tough lesson for me. I’m grateful that their hearts were in a good place, and I learnt that that is what is important.

What’s the worst part about being sick (other than worrying about whether or not you are losing pay)? The fact that because my body is sick the balance of the rest of me falls out of order and the pattern becomes: Sleep sleep sleep, think think think. Sleep and think. I’ve lived through the pattern more times than I care to remember. I was sick when I was in Taiwan, far away from home. I was sick when I was in Johannesburg, away from home and this state always makes me remember that I am not home. Being sick in a foreign country is one of the worst experiences ever. Being sick here in England, in this house, once again reminds me that I am not home. The leather couch is uncomfortable, the housemates go to bed later than I do and the dog is chaos incarnate. Ever since NT & Marie moved out the dog has had free reign and it’s driving me mad! The number of smokers has now gone from 1 often smoking outside the kitchen to 3 plus one Loser Dude who is around all the time. That leaves me as the only non-smoker living in her smaller than six square meter room. This is not home. These thoughts have made me realise that London, isn’t somewhere that could become a permanent home for me. I can’t see myself settling here even though everyone is unsure where South Africa is going (hopefully the World Cup will be a positive experience for everyone concerned), I still see myself settling there, finding myself a beautiful house where I have the space and land to create an extra area for a drama school and accommodation for international guests. That would be fantastic. I would have to be smart about it though and put together all the foundational things that would be essential. The cash funding, the necessary people and skills… Lots to think about. Of course, while I’m here in the UK, writing a book is still something I would like to tick off of my list of things to do: Something topical and non-romantic, something honest and real. That would be great, whether anyone would actually read it is another story, but a girl should always dream…Yes, when I’m sick there’s lots of thinking that goes on… lots of thinking…