"LOVE" is a verb

LOVE IS A VERB (16 June 2013)

It’s been awhile since I blogged a commentary on this absurd world we live in… and on Friday a couple of poetry lines were posted that triggered my desire to once again post my opinion into the vast realms of the cosmically extensive expanse of internet-dom….

The lines expressed – ‘I wish I could call’ and ‘I don’t have the nerves to call’… the poem was about love and I was quite annoyed and blown out the water that anyone could have these thoughts with regards to calling someone they love – it baffled my brain. I thought about it over and over and the only possible reason {in the intergalactic realm that we exist in} that someone could possibly have for not calling someone they love would be: because they have expressly, specifically and precisely been asked not to by the subject concerned; and even if this were the reason, in an emergency such a request can be denied… otherwise, if you can’t (by your own choice / nerves / unfulfilled wish) tell that ‘loved’ one what is going on, then you can’t really love them. Genuine love is not into secrets. To my knowledge, when you love someone, all you want to do is share stuff with them; you desire to be in their presence, for no ulterior motive whatsoever, no agenda, only to be (and be a better you). If you know your presence hurts someone, and they don’t want you there, then you respect that; and that respect and love for them, and knowing that your absence makes them happier, means the only answer is for you to be absent, because love desires happiness and what is good, not what is selfish…
Flip the coin – if you do pester them and they get annoyed and things get nasty and messy, then it can’t be love… love is unity and oneness, not separate-ness.

The context here: I’m writing about ‘normal’, healthy love, not a psychopathic, mentally disturbed, obsessive, jealous desire to own and have; or boost primitive ego; or satisfy an unbalanced, limited fixation on the physical (all potentially linked to the complete absence of genuine love in one’s upbringing / socialisation)… I don’t believe real love wants to ‘have’, ‘own’, or ‘command’, I believe real love nurtures, gives freedom and safety, and desires for the happiness and growth of the other; and in so doing, allows for the growth of the self too.

With that cleared up, let me continue my ramblings: I took my thoughts from the poet who was ‘wishing’ and ‘didn’t have the nerves’ to make a call, to the people who love the poet. How would the poet feel if his/her children / significant other / friends etc stopped themselves from calling to share their love? I would be deeply saddened if someone who loved me, and had an inclination to phone me and/or tell me: they love me, or I mean a lot to them, or I’m a special part of their lives; didn’t. I had two people the other week act on their impulse to share their feelings with me, and it was glorious, I rose from a pit of gloom to the clouds of being worthwhile. Why don’t people share love more often? Why do they feel that sharing the most beautiful essence in the Universe is something to be nervous about and something to only wish for… we should send the text message, type and send the email, post the card, make the call, visit, chat, stop and take the time to love, otherwise, what is the point of life?
Money? That comes and goes with recessions and interest rates and the bumblings of international power hungry individuals who call themselves politicians, religious activists and/or the ‘elite’.
Soul-destroying work? Where you will be replaced by the more up-to-date, knowledgeable and technically efficient person in diapers by the time you are 65 (or earlier), with a gold watch to say ‘thanks’ for the thousands of hours you have spent making money for the powers who have been controlling you.
Sport? Where only the ‘superstars’ get noticed and only the ‘superstars’ make history, as they generate consumerist billions whilst ‘normal’ people starve and are homeless. When you pass on (die) that great try / goal / hole-in-one / hoop will be forgotten because you aren’t there to remind anyone anymore.
Hobbies? That great stamp / miniatures / coin / postcard / badges / antique / etc collection… will it be left to collect dust, or make someone else money?
I’m not advocating that these things aren’t good at all, because if you are using them for the right reasons and as a tool for the dissemination of love and the betterment of society, then they can be awesome tools.
Still, you can’t really become the best you can be based on these things alone, or anything else that human beings have been sucked into believing is important; BUT you can use them to share love, you can share your time, you can share words and encouragement and LOVE. A joy shared is doubled; a sorrow shared is halved… Love doubles the good and reduces the bad… why would anyone only ‘wish’ to share love, only sit with ‘nerves’ about doing something good? I can’t rationalise it….

Fear: love drives out fear, or fear drives out love; we have to chose… fear is the accumulation of ‘what ifs?’ and the number of ‘what if’ answers in the universe are probably more than the number of humans on earth… call the person, you get one answer. Deal with the issue, you get one result. Sit on nerves and wishes and you get thousands of results, a whole lot of confusion, lower self-assurance, lower self-confidence, and a whole lot of stress linked to stuff that will not materialize, because of the thousands of answers that you can create in your mind, and on your nerves, only one, ONE of the thousands will happen… and the ONLY way to find out what that ONE result / answer is … is to go out and do, go out and love, go and find out in a spirit of wanting to create good… going out and realising that love is a verb.

As the lyrics are sung: SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY, EVEN IF YOUR HANDS ARE SHAKING…

I’m not typing this from an idealised perspective, one where I don’t have a foot in reality. I have someone who meant more to me than he will ever know, and even though I was shaking, I told him, he rejected me for his reasons, and I can’t hold that against him. Daily I wish I could call, wish I could tell him what happened in my day, share the tears and the laughter, but he has told me never contact him again, and so it shall be… is it easy? Hell no. Does it get easier? Not so much easier, as more familiar and accepted. Is it the right answer? My soul tells me it is, respect the wishes of the ones you love, that’s what love does.
If I go back to the beginning, if I had never declared how I felt? I would still be living in dreamland, making up stories and ‘what if’s’, making myself further and further removed from reality, and that would have been unkind to myself, that would have made it even more difficult to break away and heal in the end. The longer one leaves oneself in dreamland, the harder, the nastier and the even more painful the fall will become (nevermind the mind-games and imaginative nonsense in the middle); and then healing may not be possible with human strength at all…
So real love is not easy, real emotions hurt, but by making that call, by getting that ONE answer and dealing with it, you can move on to a bigger and better experience, without hanging on to air…
Although it is a different topic in a way, forgiveness follows a similar process too… the longer the wait, the more the pain…

Naturally, this is not an open and shut topic. We are taught to endure – but for how long? We are taught to dream and persevere – but to which end? We are taught to be strong and fight – but to whose destruction? We are taught to act over and beyond the call of duty – but whose calling? We are taught to be under condition – who set the conditions and why?
No, folks, in the context of the faulty society we live in, openly, simply and beautifully living in love is not what it should be… in my opinion ;-)
BLESSINGS and love to you