A fragile connection

By shoe

Tue, 29 Dec 2009
  • 2684 reads
10 comments
 

A silken thread
A spiders web
cuts me deep inside
do you feel it?
you never said
but then neither
did I.
You're the adult, I'm the child
as it will always be
I pray the thread will pull you back
to hold the child in me

Certificate U
Poem
They don't mean to, but they do
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by kheldar on
Short? Yes Simple? I think not. There is a lot in this that has not been said, but speaks volumes (to me at least) all the same x

cool

Submitted by TedShirt on
This is a beautiful poem.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Nice one, shoe;-) And I agree, hands down, with kheldar. Still waters run deeep. Tina

 

Submitted by shoe on
Thanks Tina, I wasn't going to post this one, that you have seen somthing in it means a lot, :]

 

Submitted by shoe on
Im glad this meant somthing to you Kheldar, I tried to re-write it several times but came back to the first version, the others didn't seem to say it right, I'm pleased I did now, X

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
This is a brilliant little ditty, Shoe! Especially love the assonance/rhyme that creates such great rhythm! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by shoe on
thanks Magic, I'm not really sure what you're saying, but it sounds like a compliment! so thank you very much, I promised myself I would learn more about the technicalities of writing, you may have just spurred me on,:}}}

 

Submitted by kheldar on
Sod the technacalities shoe, just go with your instinct - its served you very well up to now x

cool

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
I promise you Shoe that was a compliment ;) All I mean is that when you read your piece out loud it flows really well because of the rhymes you've included! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by shoe on
why, thank you TedShirt...