If you're thinking of writing a book...

...give your characters a long life, right through to the end
don't waste my time getting to know them, learning to care, to love
then in a power trip -I'm the writer and I can - moment, kill them off.

Make your heroine (she is a heroine, right?) smart, sassy, cynical
avoid gullible, vulnerable, naive
Do not let her fall in love.
Give her a friend, a loyal trustworthy friend
-for I'd like to know what that's like-
But do not - however tempting - betray that trust
make me believe it.

And give the Villain (there's always a villain, right ?)
a tiny bit of him that's good
-make him kind to animals or love his grandmother or a poet-
give him some hope, some chance of redemption, some love,
and make him sorry.

When they meet (and they will meet) they will be drawn to each other,
Beware...
Do not let them kiss, Do not let them have sex,
Do not let them fall in love.

If (despite my warnings) tragedy befalls them
- from a great height, out of the blue, head over heels-
resolve it in twenty pages, do not let the pain go on and on
chapter after chapter, finish it, let them move on.

And make it a happy ending, sunsets and rainbows, do not fuck this up
you're a writer, imagine.