In These Shoes? (I.P.)

By Silver Spun Sand

Thu, 30 Jan 2014
  • 1668 reads
8 comments
 
Say! It’s all right for some;
bleeding freezing, that’s me! 
You ain’t, are you, mister,
in your posh limousine?
 
So! You’ve wound down
the window; so there is life
on Mars. What I wouldn’t give
for one of them cars!
 
Especially right now;
see, my shoes have been nicked.
Trust tbe bastard's what pinched ’em,
they don’t frigging fit!
 
They flog cheap ones in Oxfam
but some jerk chucked me out 
and I weren’t doing nothing;
just lighting some snout. 
 
If you don’t mind my saying 
them’s posh leather shoes.
Bet they cost you a packet;
small change though, to you.
 
Say, what’s eating you, mate?
Ain’t you never seen feet?
Bit grubby, I’ll grant you,
but they scrub up a treat! 
 
Speaking of which,
my beauty sleep beckons.
Think I’ll doss down right here.
Say – what d’ya reckon?
 
Did you say something, guv?
No, I don’t do no crack.
Drugs is a mug’s game,
so I learned a while back. 
 
’Ere, I tell you what, mister –
you're not looking good;
see, the road that you travel
I already took.  
 
If you paid me a fortune, 
I’d have to refuse.
Lord! I’d rather go barefoot...
than drive a mile in your shoes.
 
Certificate 15
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Philosophy
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on

Amusingly written and yet makes a great and important point. Really enjoyed this Tina.

Linda

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks, Linda...muchlysmiley

 

Submitted by Bee on

Enjoyed your jolly rhyming poem with its jaunty rhythm, but as Linda said, there's a serious message in there, too.

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thank you, bee.  Pleased you 'got you the messagesmiley'... as they say.

Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Tina,

I loved the rhythm...rhym and the cockney accent,  it all went to give the reader the sense of time and place.

A message that life is what we make it,  whether rich or poor.  yes

Jenny.

 

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thank you, Jenny. Pleased you enjoyed and go so much out of itsmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by prettyrose on

smileyHi Tina, I hope your well. I agree with all above comments, brilliant and funny, with a serious point, You always deliver great work. well done.

 

 

take care

 

Trish x

smiley Keep Smiling

Keep Writing xxx

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks, Trish.  Pleased you enjoyedsmiley

Tina