EBOLOWA 37

By simonmiller15

Sun, 17 Apr 2016
  • 980 reads
3 comments
 

37

 

A much revised version of EBOLOWA will be on sale in book shops and online at Unbound.com.

Details to follow as and when.

many thanks meantime to readers at ABC

and good luck.

simon

Certificate 18
Story
EBOLOWA
Historical Fiction
Drama
Crime

Comments

Submitted by Sandy Hogarth on

Brilliant Simon, so good. your action scenes are so good. Like - he'i,agined her frowning'. Reminds us he's spying. Great build up of tension in second part.

Small things  - 'noisy' rather than 'noisier'

Great Stuff.

Submitted by simonmiller15 on

Great to know you're hooked! 

Submitted by Sandy Hogarth on

1st part exciting. Good tension building. The Gitan surprise good. Could improve the paragraph on C's hearing someone on the balcony. A bit cliched and telling. but smells good. Next paras great. Next section good except for 'aaaaah' 'eyes popping out ... head.' Awful cliche. You do action scenes very well.

'snivelled' the wrong word. 'sniffed better.