Not in front of the children -

Not in Front of the Children

Dear Santa,

I know it’s early but I thought I’d place my order to make sure I got the presents I want.

I’d like the latest game for my playstation its called death starving orphan bombing car stealing bastards from hell. It is going to be huge this year.PS please put the game inside a walt disney case.

Can I also have a dvd called ‘watch and burn’ which shows how people are ruining the earth and my favourite scene is the bit where there are about million couches with four million people sitting on them eating takeaway food until they can’t get up anymore. It’s really funny and will win some award.

Next I’d like a gardening book called ‘we can’t exploit poor farmers if you grow your own food’ and it’s written by really important men who run really big supermarkets. I need to know more about not eating healthy.

I’d like a bike that cycles for me so I can get a lift to school. I don’t mind if it uses fuel as it will save me doing any exercise.

I was going to ask you for something else but I think you would not like it. I’ll tell you anyway. I wanted some advice about sex but I already know what to do as my friend showed me.

Do you sell or know anyone who sells drugs? They are meant to make you laugh a lot for years though some people do cry.

I think that’s it for now.

Oops I almost forgot

What's more likley to happen - me getting my presents or you not being a commercial puppet
who doesn't really exist?

Nathan Knowthings Aged 6.

©SJ2009