Gorilla Burglar

Gorilla Burglar

Dear Aunty Flo'

Sorry I haven't written for a long time,but you know how it is.
I had a terrible experience last night, it was most embarrassing.
There was I in the
middle of the street dressed up as a blooming Gorilla! I looked a real
pillock. Bad enough
you may think, but, throw into the equation a bad tempered copper, with
a sense of humor
by-pass, and it's just bloody painful.

Okay,let me go back to the beginning. Recently I received an
invitation to my friend
Annie's 30th birthday party. She decided to have a themed party for a
change, and finally
hit upon the idea of a Tarzan &; Jane party. Well I ask you ... I
haven't got the muscles for
Tarzan, and how good would I look in a fur bikini? So there was only
one thing for it,I
opted to be the monkey.

The party was last night, and unbeknown to me, the wrong date had been
put on the
invitations. Then just to cap matters Annie who had decided to wait in
for me, got called
away suddenly to her Aunty Mabels. She had one of those funny turns of
hers.

I got all dressed up, and then blow me, the damned car wouldn't start,
so I had to call a
taxi, he shot off the second I was out of the car, I think he was a bit
disconcerted to find a
5/10 gorilla in his cab.

I knocked on the door and was getting a bit worried to notice that the
house was all in
darkness. It soon became obvious that there was no one home, well I
couldn't walk back
through the town dressed like THAT now could I?

I knew Annie wouldn't mind if I went in and waited - She IS my best
mate afterall. So I
checked the doors and found them all to be locked. Nice one Annie,
thanks I owe you
one.

I noticed that the large bathroom window was open a touch, so there was
only one thing
for it. I got a ladder out of the garage, and was half way up to the
window, when I heard
this `orrible gruff voice .

"Excuse me Sir, may I ask if this is your residence, or are you
climbing for bananas?"

I looked down upon him scathingly and mustering as much dignity as I
could, I answered
"Er ...Miss actually, and no love, it's my mates house, and I'm
supposed to be here for a
Tarzan Party"

"Well Miss , Tarzan doesn't appear to be home, it looks to be a very
quiet party if I
may say so, know how to have a good time do they, these friends of
yours? Would you
mind stepping down off the ladder please miss?"

By this time his sarcasm was getting just a little grating. I backed
down off the Ladder
to find myself confronted by a very gruesome looking police officer,
who didn't look at all
friendly.

What was worse was by this time the neighbours were beginning to
assemble, it was
getting very humiliating to say the least, my only consolation was the
fact that I had my
mate the gorilla to hide behind. How glad I was beginning to feel that
I had passed over
the fur bikini.

Eventually I managed to persuade P.C. Cordiality, that I wasn't a
gorilla burglar, and he
grudgingly let me go.

However I still had to walk through town looking like King Kong!

Oh well Aunty `Flo, it's been nice writing to you, you take care now.
Lots of love your
ever caring niece