Nice cup of tea

A nice cup of tea

Edna had been a senior staff nurse, and before that a ward sister. She
had worked with the elderly and the senile. EMI, Elderly and Mentally
Ill, she knew all the phrases she had worked on an EMI ward for almost
twenty years. Edna hadn't wanted to retire and would still have been at
work now if it hadn't been for him. What with his bossing and bullying.
It had been bad enough being married to him when she was working but
now that they were both retired she felt as though she was indeed going
insane. The man who had always been difficult was now impossible and
there was no escape from him. No matter where she turned or what she
tried to do, he was there. Telling her how it should be done, asking
her where she was going and how long she would be and when he'd get his
tea. The man was a menace.

The first incident had occurred about three months ago. Afterwards Edna
was mortified, wouldn't leave the house for over a week. Overcome with
shame she had said.

Jeanette Wilson from number forty three brought her home afterwards.
Edna had gone into the pub looking for her mother. She thought the pub
was her mother's house and tried to throw everybody out. That Lesley
Brown was a rum 'un always making jokes and taking the mickey. They had
all laughed when she said "Edna love, the minute your mother walks in
here you won't see me for dust. She must have been dead thirty years."
That's when Edna's eyes had clouded over in confusion. Myra Jackson had
bought her a brandy even though Edna didn't hold with drink. She was
right not to, bloody awful it was, bitter and nasty. Then Jeanette had
walked her home. Bill had shouted of course. Bill yelled at everything
these days. His temper becoming shorter as the years past much the same
as his inside leg measurement had done.

A couple of weeks later she had wandered into the butchers with her
dress on back to front. She asked for a nice cup of tea, then sat in
Jerry Tyson's back room next to a hanging pig and talked about the war.
She sang 'White Christmas' loudly, until she forgot the words half way
through and then that hooded look fell across her eyes and she became
upset. That day Edna went home in tears, refusing all offers of
assistance much to the relief of the shop's staff.

Twice she had been seen wandering round the garden in her nightie. And
Bill had almost died of embarrassment when she pulled down her pants
and squatted for a pee at the bus stop. By this time the whole town
knew that Edna Walsh had gone loopy. "Who'd have thought it eh? And `er
such a forceful woman too. Just goes to show doesn't it?"

Every Tuesday night when Bill went to his lodge meeting, he had to have
someone in to 'sit' with Edna. She almost burned the house down when
she put the chip pan on and then went for a walk in the park. It was a
good job Bill had come home when he did. Edna had someone with her all
the time now. But Bill always said it was the nights that were the
hardest when she started roaming round messing with things in the early
hours. Edna slept a lot these days, but never much at night. Bill
wasn't getting much sleep at all.

Edna made a nice cup of tea. Bill would shout when he came down from
the bathroom. He didn't like her to touch things in the kitchen any
more. She sat picking all the petals off the table roses as she waited
for him. The first petal was just going in her mouth when he walked
through the door and moved the vase of roses out of her way.

He yelled at her about the flowers and then they drank their tea in
silence. He didn't talk at her anymore. In fact he rarely spoke at all
these days. He pulled a face when he reached the dregs of his tea and
peered into the bottom of his cup, but if he noticed a slightly acrid
taste it didn't stop the greedy pig from slurping the last drops
noisily from the china teacup.

A short while later he complained of feeling a bit 'ropey' and thought
he'd go and lie down for a bit. She assured him that she'd be all right
and wouldn't touch anything.

As the door closed behind him the hooded, vacant expression left Edna's
eyes to be replaced by a cold, hard shrewdness. She took two bottles
from her pocket. One had contained anti-depressants. Bill had been
somewhat stressed the last few months and the doctor thought they might
help him through a difficult period as they waited for Edna's
appointment with the psychological consultant. The other bottle had
been almost full of Striptelease a potent combatant against heart
disease. They hadn't amounted to much when ground down with a pestle
and mortar and had dissolved surprisingly well.

Bill was seventy nine, she doubted whether anything would even be made
of his sudden death. He had been to the doctors on several occasions
recently complaining of stress related chest pain. On the off chance
that questions were asked Edna wiped the two bottles clean and then
pressed them one at a time into bills cold hands. Then she laid them
haphazardly on his bedside table. One of the caps was allowed to roll
onto the carpet just beside the bed.

"Poor Edna" they'd say. "How will she manage now without Bill to look
after her? The poor man must have been out of his mind with the
pressure of having Edna go funny on him." And that of course is only if
they suspected anything.

Of course Edna reasoned that her 'recovery' would have to be slow. She
would still need to have a couple of 'embarrassing incidents' to allay
suspicion. And for a few months she would have to put up with the
constant stream of incompetent carers coming in and out of her home at
all hours. Edna had it all worked out; By the time she was evaluated by
the consultant she would already be 'so much better'. She and Bill had
been more than comfortable financially and she would be left reasonably
well off. In twelve months or so she would move away "To be closer to
her daughter" she would say. Then she could shed her Altzheimers like a
brittle skin and live a little. She had always fancied somewhere in
Cornwall. Yes that would be nice.

Soon she would run down the street screaming that Bill wouldn't wake
up, but first there was nothing spoiling and she had time for a nice
cup of tea.