Picture Holes.

Shady needed to find somewhere to live fast. The new school term
started in less than a month and not only did she have to find
somewhere to live, but she also had to move all her worldly possessions
two-hundred miles North.

In all honesty she didn't have a lot really; clothes, make-up, music,
posters and Starry-night the bear, but this was Shady's first bid for
freedom. Subconsciously she supposed that's why she'd accepted a
permanent teaching post so far from home, she'd become too comfortable
there. While all the other student and supply teachers were doing house
shares, Shady was going home to one of her mother's fabulous cooked
dinners each night. Her mother still washed her clothes and changed her
bed, and Shady decided that if she didn't breakaway now, she never
would. Everything was just so easy at home, she was too cushioned and
it was time to take more control of her life.

She had been supply teaching for the last eighteen months, drifting
from one school to the next, exchanging one set of thirty-two blank
faces for another every few days. One day she realised that she wanted
to see the kid's faces come alive when she walked into the classroom,
or at the very least show some signs of recognition. She wanted to make
a difference to her pupil's lives.

Landing a permanent position hadn't been easy. The education board was
always wary of overly enthusiastic supply teachers that thought they
could take on classroom apathy and win. These wizened old ancients knew
that it couldn't be done, shady had yet to hit her head against a brick
wall enough times to find this out. She had the
keen-I-can-reach-these-kids- look about her, there wasn't even the
merest hint of clinical depression about her sparkly eyes. She still
looked glad to be alive in a Pollyanna sort of way and the education
board knew that wasn't good. A decent teacher should have at least one
nervous breakdown on their C.V to make the grade.

The other thing was her name. What were her parents thinking of? How
much acid had the dropped that day? Shady had been a conception of the
sixties; free love and herbal cigarettes that made you think nice
thoughts, and saddle your offspring with names that would incur
suspicious looks wherever she went. The thing she could never
understand though, was the fact that her folks were so geeky. She was
sure that they had meant to register her as Elizabeth or Caroline but
had suffered a brainstorm when it came to inserting a Christian name in
the relevant box.

But here she was in Jolly old Barrow-in-back-of-beyond-Furriness, flat
hunting, or to be more precise hunted, as she had just signed on the
dotted line and been handed the keys of her first ever flat.

Her new place was lovely and she was really pleased. That day she had
traipsed over seven places within her price range and had remembered to
wipe her feet on the way out of all of them. But this was lovely.
"Cheap to the right tenant" the estate agent had said. Apparently the
owners of the property were keen that it should be looked after
well.

They were standing in the hall and Mr. Pearson was checking that
everything was turned off when he saw Shady looking at the walls.

"Oh don't ask dear, don't ask." He said throwing his hands above his
head dramatically. Shady had decided within three seconds of meeting
him that he was as camp as a row of little pink tents. Once again the
'all the good looking ones are either married or gay' adage seemed to
have proven its case.

"Previous tenant dear, I don't know what he was thinking of. I tell you
when Mr Jackson your landlord saw it, well the air turned blue. I
shaded my ears I did, shaded my ears I tell you." He did indeed shade
his ears with his pretty manicured hands in demonstration.

"He had a lovely tiger print rug on the floor in front of the fire and
a penchant for Maddonna. Mind you."

"Who? Mr. Jackson?" Pearson gave a high pitched giggle and swiped her
playfully on the arm.

"No, Silly Goose, James Hayton the previous tenant. Wore Armani
aftershave you know." He raised his head slightly as though he could
still smell the aroma lingering in the air. Shady covered her urge to
laugh by looking again at the weird holes cut out of the hall
wallpaper.

"Pity he left so suddenly really," continued Pearson sadly "Never mind.
Come along, come along." He said flouncing her out of the flat and
locking the door behind them.

Moving in proved not to be half the nightmare she expected it to be. It
was a valuable exercise in determining just how much clutter it is
possible to fit into a Peugeot 406 when the need arose. She had over a
week to relax and prepare herself for starting work and within a couple
of days she had made the place feel like home. Pearson came on her
second day and told her that he had spoken with Mr. and Mrs. Jackson
again about sending someone out to re-paper the hall for her, and he
brought some samples of wallpaper for her to look at. The Jackson's had
good taste and out of the half dozen colours and designs that they had
chosen for her to pick from she liked all of them. Pearson told her
that he had arranged for the decorator would come while she was at work
so as not to disrupt her holiday. She decided that she liked him, he
was a thoughtful man.

The next day Shady had not long been in from a days frantic shopping.
Her credit card was exhausted and the prognosis may well prove to be
terminal, her feet almost refused to carry her the extra few feet from
the front door into the bathroom. She had a long soak in a hot bath and
felt wonderful for it. By the time sharp rap came at the door, she was
examining her purchases and sampling a particularly extravagant glass
of red wine.

Shady looked down at herself as she went to answer the door, and felt
ridiculous in her Pooh bear pyjamas and big fluffy slippers. Her cheeks
burned furiously when she met the amused gaze of a horribly attractive
young man. He was tall and dark with long hair that curled up at his
collar, and eyes of deep, jade green. But his smile irritated shady to
hell because he made not the slightest attempt to hide his amusement at
her obvious embarrassment.

"Well hello there, I don't suppose you'd be having some mail for me now
would you. I used to live here, but knew there was a gorgeous young
lady just waiting to take up residence so I moved out just for you." He
had a soft Irish accent and his eyes crinkled with merriment as he
teased her. Well he certainly had the gift of the gab. "I left you a
couple of my favourite spiders though just so you wouldn't be
lonely."

Shady couldn't help but grin back at him. She had put some letters on
the top of the freezer that morning.

"Hello, is it Mr. Hayton?"

"It is me darlin`, it is, but only to the polis and the tax man. You
can call me Jimmy." Jimmy pretended to remove an invisible cap and
theatrically bowed low with one arm across his middle and the other
thrust out behind him. Shady laughed.

"Well hello Jimmy, Nice to met you. Yes I've got some stuff for you,"
she glanced down at herself again. "Perhaps you'd better step inside a
minute." Jimmy thanked her and moved into the warmth of the flat wiping
his feet on the matt on his way into the hall.

Shady rushed through to the kitchen to get him his mail, and stopped
for a second to run her fingers through still damp hair. Her cheeks
were beginning to cool a little but she still felt foolish and
uncomfortable.

As she handed him his mail, he looked at her appraisingly.

"Is that a bit of an accent I'm detecting there? You're not from this
area are you?"

"Well if that's not a pot talking I don't know what is" she replied
smiling and giving him a bit of lip back."

"Oh so you noticed then? I've never met a lady yet who could resist the
Jimmy Hayton charm. You wouldn't be wantin` to spoil my perfect record
now would you? Listen if you're new around here, I know all the best
places to eat and get a beer. How would you like me to show you round
sometime?"

Shady was flustered didn't know how to respond to the confident
stranger asking her out as she stood in front of him in no more than
her pyjamas.

"Well I &;#8230;um"

"Oh but there's a couple of stipulations though." He went on to list
them before she had the chance to reply. "You have to wear some shoes.
Now I like old Winnie there, He's cool and I can live with showin` a
lady round in her best Pooh P.J's, but me darlin` the fluffy rabbit
slippers are just to much."

" I don't think so, I'm pretty busy at the moment. Thank-you very much
though. It was really sweet of you to ask."

"Hey, Hey, you can't refuse me yet, you haven't heard my second
stipulation," he pouted his lower lip and suddenly looked twelve years
old, a lock of dark brown hair fell over his left eye adding to the
effect of a forlorn little boy.

Shady laughed, he wasn't just gorgeous, he was funny as well. "And
what's that then?"

"Well the second rule before taking the guided pub crawl with Hayton
Tours limited, is that you're not allowed to refuse. I know I'm
strange, I can't deny it, Look," he went cross-eyed and pulled a goofy
face, "But I know my way round town better than any other gormless
paddy and &;#8230;um. The first round's on me." He finished with a
wide grin, and despite her better judgement Shady found herself saying
yes and agreed to him picking her up on the Friday night at seven
thirty. She was laughing heartily as he turned to leave.

"Jimmy." She asked, "Before you go I have to ask, curiosity's killing
me here. What's with all the hole's in this wallpaper?"

Jimmy looked along the mutilated wall and hesitated.

"What this?" He said motioning towards the wall. "Oh that's down to the
people who lived here before me. Strange people by all accounts.
Savaged handmaidens in the woods at midnight so they did, and ate
wallpaper for Sunday lunch." And then with a wave he was gone.

Shady shut the door behind him and leant against it. She was smiling
widely. No matter what happened on Friday night, she was sure of one
thing, It was bound to be fun.

Funny about the wallpaper though, I'm sure Pearson said it was Jimmy
that had left it like that. Still I suppose to him, one tenant is
pretty much like another. She was disappointed that Jimmy didn't know
why it was like that because it looked really wierd.

The hall was a long narrow one, and along the unbroken wall to the left
of the front door, there were a series of large holes carefully cut out
of the wallpaper. Twelve of them in all, at eye level and about ten by
twelve inches in size. They looked like gaps where pictures had once
been, as though the decorator couldn't be bothered to take the pictures
down and papered round them rather than just lifting them off their
hooks. Or maybe they had glued photographs to the wall and then had to
cut them off with a Stanley knife to avoid damaging them when they
moved. Shady was still pondering the puzzle of the picture holes as she
went back to the lounge and her now warm glass of wine.

All day Friday she thought about Jimmy and the night ahead. The
occasion, she thought, demands a new outfit. She had no idea where they
were going, so didn't know how to dress accordingly but in the end, she
fell back on every woman's get out clause of 'smart casual'. Finally,
after visiting every shop in the high street at least twice, she
settled on a light purple, basque top with wonderfully rigid, push and
thrust whalebone under the bust, magically her thirty -four B cup
transformed into a thirty-four-oh-my-God-
where-did-that-come-from-cleavage that she was thoroughly impressed
with. She tried on no less than fifteen pairs of jeans, until she found
a pair of midnight blue ones in the new shiny look. They had zigzag
inserts of silver see-through stuff all the way up the legs, and
although she should really have gone for the size twelve, she squeezed
herself into the ten's and vanity convinced her that they were
comfortable. She would just have to remember not to try and breathe too
often. On her feet she wore a pair of purple topped sandals, with a
pine wood sole and heels that gave her vertigo and would probably lead
to an altitude nose bleed. She knew that after ten minutes tottering
around on them she would be in agony, but for just one smile from Jimmy
and eyes like his, she would gladly suffer.

"Well lass," she asked her reflection aloud "Do I look like a tart?"
She turned this way and that to get a good look at herself from all
angles, and then she answered in a reproving tone of voice.

"Yes you hussy. What would your pupils think?" She grinned

"Well thank Christ for that, it took me three hours to achieve this
effect."

Although her clothes were a little more outrageous than the smart
casual she had led herself to believe she was going to buy, she had
kept her make-up fresh and simple. She wore only a thin gold chain
round her neck, and had done her nails with clear varnish. The rest of
her look was understated and complimented her clothing well. For all
her self-depreciation she looked elegant and 'fun'.

He was bang on time. Shady was brushing her long chestnut hair until it
shone and fell in soft tickly curls down the bare half of her back when
he knocked on the door making her jump. She answered with the hairbrush
still clutched in her hand.

"Oh. It'll be a song you're going to sing me into that is it?" he said
when he saw her. Then he gave a long and exaggerated wolf whistle,
raising his eyes to the ceiling. "Ah St. Anthony man, you've done me
proud and brought light and happiness into my previously blighted
life."

Shady blushed and accepted the roses he had brought for her calmly.
Bloody hell a man that brings flowers and looks like that, surely I'm
dreaming. This can't be happening to me.

She invited him in and ran through to the bedroom as best as she could
manage on the Mont Blanc heels. Dropping the hairbrush onto the bed she
eyed the two jackets she had been trying on earlier. Neither of them
really went with the lilac top, so although the night was chilly she
decided to go without a jacket. One last squirt of the heady and
wonderful Sun, Moon &; Stars perfume and she was ready.

"Shall we go then?" she asked as she walked back into the Lounge where
she had left Jimmy. He was running his finger along her CD collection
and turned with a smile.

"Yes, I think we better had. I'm a good catholic boy and I'm afraid
that you might want to be temptin` me with some of that soft music
you've got there and darlin` I've clean forgotten why I wanted to take
you out, when everything I could ever want is right here in this
room."

He said it with a grin, and Shady couldn't be quite sure if he was
joking with her or not.

The night out was all that she had expected it to be. She was sure that
she laughed more in that one evening than she had ever done in her life
before. They sang and danced and drank and then drank some more. Shady
was having a brilliant time and didn't want the night to end. They made
the mutual decision early on, to fore-go eating in favour of drinking,
and agreed that they would get chips somewhere on the way home. Shady
lost count of the number of pubs they went into. Jimmy kept talking
about all his mates and how they came to these pubs all the time, and
yet nobody seemed to know him. It never occurred to Shady until they
were leaving the last pub that he hadn't seen any of his friends all
night. It was a pity; she had been looking forward to meeting
them.

She shivered as the warmth of the pub gave way starkly to the nasty
late night nip in the air. She rubbed her arms in an attempt to make
the goose-pimples lie smoothly back down. Jimmy instantly took his
three-quarter-length leather jacket off and hung it around her
shoulders. Apart from the odd touching of hands there had been no
physical contact between them all night, but now as he gave her his
jacket his arm dropped lightly to her waist and stayed there. For the
first time since meeting him he looked shy when she turned to smile
into his eyes.

Shady hadn't eaten since lunch because she hadn't been sure if they
were going to eat out or not, She hadn't felt at all hungry until they
walked into the brightly lit chippy and the smell of food cooking
greeted them at the door. Suddenly she was starving; they ordered
sausage and chips. Oh bugger the diet she thought and they ate them out
of paper sitting on a bench at the side of the deserted road.

When they had finished eating she felt sure that he was going to kiss
her. She could see particles of salt on his full upper lip; they looked
whiter in the streetlit darkness. She wanted to taste the salt, to feel
the softness of his lips on hers.

He leaned towards her and she moved in closer and then at the last
second he pulled back and busied himself with collecting their papers
and putting them in the waste paper basket