Spark (The)

The Spark

Hello ...How are you?

Oh I'm sorry, you don't recognize me, we have met you know. Several
times in fact.
though admittedly your attention was dramatically focused in another
direction at the time.
Blue eyes, taut body, nice bum! You wouldn't have noticed me. They
never do.

I'm the Spark. That is to say not just any old Spark, I am THE Spark.
You know "The
Spark that makes the fire grow", the Spark that ignites the fires of
passion, the Spark that
explodes between two people to draw their eyes across the room, to
settle upon each
other and then "POW".

All that exploding all over the place is very tough on the old back
you know, my Arthritis
really gives me gyp.

Well I have a confession. Oh boy do I have a confession.

I hate my job, it's so boring. They meet, I explode, they fall in
Love. Yeuk. Then six
month, twelve month, three years later, they get married, live happily
ever after, bliss,
bliss, bliss ...IT MAKES ME SICK. All that lovey dovey, suckey facey
all over the place,
fair puts me off my Breakfast of a morning. Ok, ok I admit in the
beginning it gave me a
buzz. I was personally responsible for the sexual revolution of the
sixties you know? But
come on, a self respecting Spark, can only take so much mush.

Job dissatisfaction, leads a Spark to do silly things you know, and to
be honest I have
little defense, other than to say ...Hell, it was a ball!

The way it works is this; every morning I clock on, and then go up to
the office to get
the work lists for the day. The yellow sheet contains all the females,
and the purple sheet
contains all the males. I'm supposed to match one with one, two with
two, etcetera
etcetra. If there are any left overs they get carried over to the next
day.

Can you imagine doing that day in, day out. Popping off all over the
place and making
perfect matches, One hundred percent success, every person meeting
their ideal
hetrosexual partner every time. No mistakes, aaahhh Polony. It's
sickening everybody
living in matrimonial ecstasy until the day they die.

Wouldn't YOU have done what I did? What did I do? Oh Okay I'll tell
you.

Weeeelll I decided to have myself a little lottery. So every morning
I'd rip all the names
up and throw them in the hat. Then I'd pick two at random and off I'd
Pop to do myself
some exploding. You should see some of the folks I've got
together.

Then I sit back and watch the soap opera unfold. Some of the break ups
have been
spectacular. I do love a good old punch up. I hold my hand up to
creating homosexuality,
divorce, and once when I was feeling really wicked,I threw in the name
of Farmer
Werry's donkey: Now that was some explosion, Poor Farmer Werry hasn't
been the same
since. As for Mrs Werry, well she was the one who named the donkey
Jezebel in the first
place.

So Father that's why I'm in the confessional, I want to repent,Oh...
and to say sorry
about Mrs. Greenwood who's coming in to do the church flowers. You'll
be meeting her
in three minutes and fifteen seconds ...Sorry.