V) Gary's Crazy Legs.

Sal had a new client, a young man. Her workload was already
stretched but she couldn't turn this one down, he promised to be quite
a challenge. Sal was a care in the community nurse, she'd moved into
this line of work from Occupational Therapy after finding herself
divorced, manless and a single mother. Mostly her days consisted of
giving enemas, fitting catheters and doing dressings for those
geriatrics stubborn enough to believe that they had a right to maintain
their independence until the bitter end. Sal loved her work, but told
herself often that one could only be confronted by so many rear ends in
any given week. It was brilliant when she had 'other' clients with
different needs to see to.

Not only was Gary young, but he was also down for Occupational Therapy.
Simplified into one word instead of two, what Gary's therapy consisted
of was stimulation. Sal had been looking forward to the next two hours
all week. She had read through Gary's case file. He was seventeen,
attended a special resource centre three days a week and drove his
mother demented the other four. What the O/T hours actually translated
to was 'Get Gary out of his mother's hair for a couple of hours twice a
week'. He was a Cerebral Palsy sufferer, blind, mute, incontinent,
epileptic and in big capital letters ' PRONE TO FITS OF VIOLENCE' Just
the sort of client Sal could really enjoy working with.

Brimming with confidence Sal smoothed down her green tunic and matching
pants and rang the doorbell. A pretty little girl of about eight
answered the door; she didn't speak, just stood looking at Sal with big
brown eyes. One sock had fallen in dishevelled pleats to her ankle and
she had a long scratch on her left cheek. From within the house Sal
heard a continuous loud banging.

"Will you stop banging your head against that bloody wall and get down
those stairs now. The new woman has come to take you out God help her.
Come on move it."

The banging stopped simultaneously with the end of the yelling. 'The
new woman' indeed, where was the respect for her station in life, the
confidence in her abilities? Sal had come to ease all her problems, to
take away her stress, to make life wonderful for the
stretched-to-the-limit family. She was an angel of mercy, not just the
next in a long line of come-and-gone staff who couldn't cope with the
difficult boy as her tone of voice would suggest. She felt her smile
wanting to run off the side of her face, but she held it in place by
the britches.

What happened next was all a bit of a blur. The main staircase of the
house faced the open front door and for a maximum of about three
seconds, there was an hour or so of total silence, the banging and
yelling had stopped and the child in the doorway still stood staring at
her without speaking. Then there was an almighty high-pitched scream
and this black streak of 'thing' came hurtling down the stairs towards
her, closely followed, though nowhere near as quickly, by Mrs Greenwood
with laundry loaded arms and hair falling over her face from a
disobedient pony tail. She didn't need any introduction as the harassed
mother of the scene.

"Well come in then, don't just stand there."

Sal wasn't sure if the woman meant her or the girl, but stepped in
anyway. She moved swiftly over to the left of the stairs, as it seemed
the wild creature literally gliding forwards was going to crash right
into her. But he didn't.

Gary landed with a bump at the bottom of the stairs and scuttled
another few feet towards Sal. Sal winced though whether at the thought
of imminent attack, or in sympathy of the loud bump that Gary's bottom
made on the laminated floor she wasn't quite sure. She grabbed at the
retreating smile and reinforced it with some teeth.

They regarded each other in an open display of weighing the situation
and the other person up. Gary's sightless eyes somehow found her from
his seated position on the floor. They flittered constantly left and
right but not in time. The perpetual movements rapid and involuntary
like a pair of synchronised swimmers each with their own ideas about
the choreography of the dance. He wrinkled his nose and rudely sniffed
the air in front of her. Sal laughed, it was a genuine unforced laugh,
Gary was appealing and she felt that she was going to like him.

" Hello Gary. You are Gary aren't you? You look just like a Gary to
me." Sal hunkered down so that she was on a level with Gary's
face.

Apart form the St. Vitrus eyes the first thing that Sal noticed was the
fact that Gary had not stopped screaming. In fact as she spoke to him
the scream had become if possible even more high pitched and without a
doubt louder. He was excited and rocked backwards and forwards,
dribbling and waving his arms. Every couple of seconds he nodded his
head and clapped his hands three times. He gave every indication of
being a child-because that's how she thought of him-who was pretty
damned pleased about things.

And then he was away. As he lunged forward he caught Sal on the side of
her arm and knocked her off balance. She fell from her haunches and
sprawled inelegantly on the floor. Gary didn't notice though he was off
making his noise and moving unbelievably quickly through the first door
on the left. He didn't crawl; he did a sort of swing-shuffle thing with
his legs pointing out in front of him. His scrawny arms clearly showed
tortioned muscle as he rotated his hands to the floor. With his fingers
pointing away from him, each movement pulled his body up into the air
supported on his arms alone and he swung through his legs to land a
further few feet forwards. With each lumbering propulsion his legs shot
out in a crazy highland-fling type movement, and then, as his bottom
connected with the floor, he'd slide another few feet digging his heels
in and moving forward some more before swinging through his arms again.
This mode of getting from one place to the next was clumsy but
effective and in a matter of seconds he had pushed the door open and
shuffled through.

Sal had a few words with Mr.s Greenwood about his understanding and how
best to communicate with Gary. She was shown to his room to get the
things they needed for their outing. And she made sure that she asked
Katie, Gary's sister, what Gary liked to do. The little girl seemed to
come alight in her body, Sal figured people didn't ask her opinion very
often, but she knew only too well what it was like to be an able child
in a 'disabled' family. A child who can cope is often not only left to
cope, but pulled in as relief carer. Katie spoke in a very prim and
grown-up voice as she reeled off a lot of things that Gary liked to
do.

Their first session was going to be an assessment session, a chance for
Sal and Gary to get to know each other and to find out exactly how much
Gary was capable of. Sal had already decided to take him to her home
for the main part of their visit. Mrs Greenwood helped load Gary into
the front seat of Sal's car and fasten him in securely. The short drive
home was uneventful Sal chatted away to Gary non stop and was touched
when half way through the journey he grabbed her arm and pulled it to
his nose to smell her. Seemingly comforted that it was a 'good' smell
Gary was content to rock backwards and forwards and listen to her
talking.

If she thought she might have trouble getting him into a strange house
she was very wrong. As soon as the car pulled to a stop he became
agitated, rocking harder now, almost aggressively, he was pulling at
his belt and moaning loudly. As soon as Sal opened the door and
released the catch on the seatbelt, Gary slithered to the floor and was
off along the pavement. She had to slam the car door shut quickly and
go after him before he left town. Taking his hand he was quite biddable
and happy to be led to the front door. But Sal was learning quickly
that Gary was a man of short patience and as she fumbled to get her key
in the lock Gary began pounding loudly on the door and making what were
obviously his 'let me in' noises. The fact that these were extremely
loud monosyllabic screams did nothing for Sal's nerves but proved every
successful as a neighbour call out. Several doors opened and people
came to the street to watch the strange spectacle. The door finally
flew wide aided by a hefty shove from Gary and he and Sal sort of
stumble-fell into the hall.

And then he was off. Once again Sal was confronted with an open door
and an absconded Gary. She heard several loud thumps and then the most
captivating hysterical laughter. Taking the stairs two at a time she
ran to catch up with him and find out what he was up to. Gary was
sitting on the landing outside her bedroom between the two flights of
stairs. His hands were moving all over the first few stairs of the
second flight and he was laughing his head off.

At first Sal couldn't understand what was so funny. Gary rushed to the
top of the first landing and she grabbed out at him in alarm in case he
fell headlong down the stairs, but she needn't have worried, Gary was
obviously a stair-veteran. He felt along the top step, and then he was
back at the second flight feeling them and laughing all over
again.

Then it hit her. Tears came to Sal's eyes as she realised how something
so simple could affect the boy so much. She sat on the landing right
next to Gary put her hand over his to be a part of his moment and
started laughing too.

Gary only had ONE flight of stairs at home! To be suddenly confronted
by two flights was a truly wondrous thing, not to mention a very funny
thing.

For the next ten minutes Gary flew up and down both sets of steps,
delighted with this extra-flight experience. His crazy legs kept
kicking out in that puppety way they had, and he made his continuous
noise. After five minutes Sal tried to shut out some of the noise, her
nerves beginning to grate with the high-pitched screaming. Mrs
Greenwood had coped with this child day and night for seventeen years,
Sal and put in little over seventeen minutes and was feeling the
strain.

"Hey Gary, lets go downstairs and get a drink eh?"

He signed 'yes' and clapped his hands three times. This seemed to be
Gary's universal sign for being happy. As Sal guided him into the
lounge he turned his head back towards the stairs. If blind eyes could
ever be said to look wistful then Gary's did at that moment. His broken
mind was still pondering the fact that this new lady who smelled okay
had two lots of stairs. And then he remembered the drink and began to
sign the word over and over again already Sal was becoming used to his
different range of noises and he began to rock and make his
frustrated-impatience noise.

She made sure he was comfortable on the sofa and that there was nothing
close that he could hurt himself on and went to get him some juice. No
sooner had she got in the kitchen than she heard the lounge door open
and the bump, bump, bump of Gary going up the stairs.

The getting-Gary-down-the stairs scene was repeated. And they fought
over the half-filled cup of juice. Sal didn't have a combi-aid beaker
at her home and had used an ordinary mug for Gary to drink out of, his
retardation and poor co-ordination meant that he needed help to drink.
Gary saw no reason to have three hands on the cup when he could quite
easily pour ninety percent of the fluid over himself with just his own
two. Sal was treated to her fist baleful glare from Gary. He may not
have been able to see but that didn't stop him from having perfected
his own version of a 'dirty look'

"Hmm not pleased eh Mister. Look at us we're both soaked now," said Sal
unaware of the stupidity of her words.

Gary continued to 'glare' for a few seconds and then turned his
attention to his boots. He had specially made thick leather boots, one
of them with a platform sole. He began pulling at one of them. He faced
Sal and began to sign 'boots' and then something else that Sal didn't
understand. Gary's mum had customised our recognised British sign
language and tailored it to fit Gary's needs. All the letters were
removed and he used only complete words, Gary's mum had devised most of
these, some were straightforward, and some needed quite some thinking
about.

"What's the matter Gary? Are you okay? Are your boots too tight? Are
they hurting you mate?"

When he heard the word hurt Gary picked up one of his feet and rocked
it as a little girl would a favourite doll; he began to make sobbing
noises. The boots did look pretty new; Sal began to worry that they
were rubbing him.

She took his boots and socks off and massaged his feet. He seemed to
enjoy this attention and made no complaint. She examined his feet
thoroughly and found nothing to indicate that his feet were sore in any
way.

After ten minutes Sal tried to put Gary's boots back on. The boy
thrashed and struggled; he made the dry-eyed sobbing noises and rocked
furiously backwards and forwards. He even tried to hit out at Sal a
couple of times. Finally the boots were back in place. Sal reasoned
that it was only until he got back home and then he could take them off
again. Gary wasn't convinced.

After going ten rounds with Gary to get his boots on, Sal was
exhausted. She happily let him play on the stairs while she made
herself a cup of coffee. Well this visit was only for assessment
purposes anyway, they'd get down to some serious game playing next
time. She fed him biscuits and yoghurt, cleaned him down and then
thankfully it was time to take Gary back home. He was going to be an
interesting client and a challenge, but there was no denying the fact
that he was a handful and very tiring. Sal felt a surge of enormous
pity for Gary's family.

"Hey Gary want to go for a ride in the car?" Yes and three
happy-claps.

Sal steeled herself for battle.

"Well I'll tell you what then Buster? I'll take you home in my car, if
you stand up and walk properly. What do you say?"

Gary didn't say anything, he just slithered off the sofa onto his
bottom and shuffled towards the door.

It said in Gary's notes that his disabilities made walking difficult
for him, but that he could and should be encouraged to walk short
distances.

"Oh no you don't big fella. Come on lets have you up on those feet."
Sal grabbed Gary under his arms and hoisted him up into a standing
position. Gary giggled he thought it was a game. As soon as Sal
released her hold on him he slumped to the floor again.

Sal forced as much authority as she could manage into her voice.

"Gary stand up please"

This was a no nonsense; I'm-taking-no-prisoners command.

Gary responded to the telling off tone of voice by becoming sulky. He
put his head down and pointedly ignored Sal.

"Now Gary please," she said in an even harsher tone.

He picked his foot up, the other one this time, and made his sobbing
noise.

"Oh come on now Gary it's only for a few feet just to the car that's
all."
He did a one-eighty turn on his bottom and sat with his back very
expressively towards her.

"Okay Gary you listen to me. You are a young man with a lot of guts.
You are not some crippled little victim to be written off. I know
you've got problems, lots of them, and your world might turn a whole
lot differently to mine, but you are not going to shuffle along in
defeat as long as you are with me okay? Tell you what I'll make you a
deal. You can make-like-a-monkey when we are in your house or here, but
when we're out, you standing up and walk properly. Deal?"

Sal knew that Gary's intellect was far too limited to understand what
she was saying, but she needed to say it for her own benefit. She
needed to talk to him like and adult. Then maybe, just occasionally,
her words would reach through the disability and reach the adult
trapped inside Gary.

He was still ignoring her.

"Would you like some chocolate Gary?"

No problem with any of that particular selection of words, Gary turned
round on his bottom faster than the little girl's head in the exorcist
could spin.

Yes, three claps. It seemed she was forgiven.

"Ok well you can have some chocolate in the car, if you get up and walk
properly."

Without any hesitation Gary used the chair by the living room door to
pull himself upright and lurched towards Sal.

Hah, she thought, bribery gets `em every time.

"Very good Gary, well done mate." She said crossing her arms and taking
hold of his hands.

They were now in position to do a palsied rendition of the 'Gay
Gordons'. This position for assisting him meant that if Gary fell
forward he would fall against Sal's forearms and with them being
crossed, she would be able to support him and lower him to the ground
without either of them getting hurt. Well that was the theory
anyway.

She could see why Gary preferred to shuffle-swing on his bottom. He
could move that way as fast as most other people could walk. Once up on
his feet he was terribly disabled. His body bent dramatically over to
the left and into Sal's side. His leg with each laboured step flung
itself out in mid air before clumsily re-connecting itself with the
ground just a measly few inches further on. Gary could walk, but he saw
no logic in it and chose not to. By the time Sal had helped Gary out to
the car her lower back was hurting with the way Gary was hanging on her
and using her weight to support his own.

She regretted the chocolate idea when she saw the mess of Gary,
herself, and her car when he'd finished. Gary was an expert
dribbler.

They had only driven a matter of minutes. Sal was explaining that when
they got home she'd like Gary to walk into the house properly, when
Gary made an unusual noise in his throat to get Sal's attention. She
turned to look at him. He was smiling at her. It was a beautiful, wide
chocolatey grin.

Sal's face broke into an involuntary wide smile back at him and then it
froze in horror.

Smack!

Suddenly Gary's hand shot up and he slapped her on the side of her
forearm with tremendous force.

"Owww"

Slap! He hit her again.

And again.

He was laughing the same hysterical laugh as when he'd discovered the
two flights of stairs.

Sal was desperately trying to keep her eyes on the road. Every time
Gary hit her she raised her forearm to try and block the blow.

Smile

Slap

Laughter

Over and over again he hit her. Sal was on a roundabout; traffic was
coming from all directions. Her eye was bleeding from one of the slaps
that she hadn't managed to block properly. Gary's long nail had caught
her at the side of her left eye. She had to try and pull over.

"Gary Stop it! " she screamed, her voice carried no authority, just a
rising note of hysteria.

"For God sake stop it!"

Gary continued to laugh.

A car swerved it's horn lamenting her actions in a long note of
anger.

She took an exit off the roundabout, not the one she wanted, but she
had to find somewhere safe to park up. Tears were stinging her eyes and
still the slaps were raining down on her arms and head.

She pulled over and mounted a pavement in her need to stop the car
quickly.

Suddenly Gary stopped hitting her. He was still laughing and making a
strange grunting noise.

An awful smell filled the car and Gary found this funny too.

Sal hadn't said a word, she nursed her badly bruised arm and felt the
tender flesh at the side of her face. She was shaking uncontrollably
and crying from the shock. They could have been killed. Gary's notes
had said that he could be violent, and yet she was sent out alone to
take him in her car. Why the hell didn't the recourses cover a carer to
restrain Gary while she drove?

Gary pulled the top of his jog-pants down while at the same time
lifting his bottom from the car seat. With one forceful jerk he pulled
the conti-pad loose from its fastenings and yanked it up and out of his
pants. A dollop of loose excreta landed on the windscreen of Sal's car
and the stench was overpowering. She quickly wound her window down.
Gary dropped the laden incontinence pad at his feet and began to tread
the mess all over his boots.

At least he seemed calm now. All Sal wanted was to get to his house and
get him dropped off before anything else happened. She found that while
she was trapped in the car with him she didn't dare speak in case her
voice set off another unprovoked attack.

With shaking hands she leaned forward and turned the music on.

This produced three happy-claps from Gary.

She turned the key in the ignition, put the car in gear, released the
handbrake and set off slowly. For the first few minutes everything was
fine. Three streets down, only a few more to go and she'd have him home
safe and sound. Please God just let him stay calm.

She pulled up at traffic lights, and chanced a quick look at him. She
watched his face change from serenely calm to a baleful frown. He
didn't like it when the car stopped. Gary liked the sensation of
movement, so that's what had set him off.

His face broke into the beautiful happy-smile.

Sal's blood turned cold. Oh Christ no, it was that same smile again.
She knew it now. It wasn't a beautiful smile, it was a sly smile. It
was the expression that told her his mind was working on
mischief.

Sal also noticed with the lack of his pad that he had an erection. The
violence and hysteria in the car was exciting him. The only way he knew
how to deal with such a feeling was by hitting out. The situation was
out of control and Sal felt as though she needed help. Her superiors
should never have put her in this position.

Smack!

This time instead of hitting her, he banged the side of his head with
incredible force against his window. The window moved with the impact
but held.

Smack!

He did it again. She couldn't see from her side if he'd damaged himself
but he couldn't hit something that hard and not at least be
bruised.

Controlling the car with her right hand and again looking for somewhere
to stop, she grabbed Gary with her left.

"Gary Stop it!" she screamed at him. "You're going to hurt
yourself"

The panic in her voice delighted Gary and he started to laugh wildly
again. Spittle flew from his mouth, some of it hitting the windscreen
and sliding down to come to a stop when it hit the splodge of excrement
that had held steady on the glass.

Taking advantage of the fact that Sal's left arm was across his chest
trying to pull him away from the window, he reached out with his right
hand and groped for a handful of Sal's hair. Her head was facing front
drawing to a stop alongside the road.

He pulled her head down and headbutted her.

The blow hit her at the side of her head, and she screamed. She had to
find a telephone box to call someone out to help her. But she was on a
road with no phone box and no houses. Only two more streets to go and
she'd have him home. He was headbutting the window again. What should
she do? Wait for help to come along? Flag down a passing car? Just
drive? The roads were quieter here, now that she was out of the centre
of town. Two minutes, just two more minutes and she could have him
home. She made the decision to drive. Tears were streaming down her
face.

"Listen Gary," she turned to him and grabbed both his forearms. Her
fingers dug deeply into his wrists, not caring if she hurt him, not
caring if she left marks. Her only concerns here and now was getting
the boy back to where he belonged. She moved her head out of his line
of contact so that he couldn't butt her. She risked moving one arm and
turned the music off before quickly grabbing him again.

He went mad thrashing his body all over the place, and trying to butt
anything he could make contact with, the best he could manage was the
soft foam of the seat's headrest.

"Now you just listen to me," Her voice was back in control, her grip
strong and firm. She felt anything but in control, she was terrified,
angry, shocked, but her movements and voice gave every impression of
not being intimidated.

Gary wilted and hung his head in defeated sulk mode.

"You want the music back on huh?"

Gary nodded his head and tried to move his hands to sign yes.

"Yes you do? I thought so. Are you going to behave?"

Yes

If I put the music on will you stop hitting me?

Yes

She released one of his hands.

"I'll put the music back on for you, but you have to be good
okay?"

He nodded his head and signed yes.

Sal leaned over and pressed 'play' on the tape.

Gary smiled, raised his hand and hit her hard on the arm.

Sal turned the music off. Gary hit her. She grabbed his arms, as long
as they were stationary she had the training and strength to restrain
him.

"Damn you Gary. Stop it!"

She screamed loudly in his face. She wanted to slap him. She had a
strong urge to take her hand and strike his face as hard as she
possibly could. This new feeling of aggression that she'd never
experienced before frightened her as much as anything that had happened
that day, she took a deep breath. Her sudden aggression had made Gary
wilt again. He no longer had an erection and conceded to the fact that
she was the stronger force. He seemed to be biddable again.

Once again she asked him if he wanted music and again he promised to
behave if she put it on.

She leaned forward and turned the stereo back on and began to drive.
One more corner. Mirror indicate, glance at Gary sitting quietly. Turn.
Glance at Gary sitting quietly. The house was in sight. Glance at Gary
sitting quietly. And she pulled up outside.

The door opened and Mrs Greenwood stood on the step. She was smiling
and waving at Gary. Sal raised her arm briefly.

She went round to Gary's side of the car, opened his door and released
his belt. He slid to the floor.

"Oh no you don't, Come on Gary up on your feet please"

Gary made his pathetic sobbing noise, all the fight seemingly gone for
the night. Sal sarcastically thought 'he's tired bless him.'

"I said get up. Now get up please" Sal barked this order at him mindful
of the fact that Mrs Greenwood was watching and listening to see how
Sal dealt with her son. There was not the merest hint of warmth in
Sal's tone and if Gary's mother had any problems with that, then she
could just damned well take it up with her boss. Sal had had enough and
was beyond caring."

Gary tried to get past Sal and shuffle to his mum. Sal blocked his way
with her leg and refused to let him past. Mrs Greenwood never
moved.

"I said Get up."

Gary used Sal's leg to help him to his feet. He let it be known from
his expression that he was sulking heavily and was not in the least
happy at being bullied in this manner.

"Good Lad."

Sal walked Gary over to the door. Completely ignoring his mother's
hello's he was on his bum and off up the stairs to his room as soon as
he could snatch his hand away from Sal's.

"I see he's been naughty," said Mrs Greenwood eyeing the blood and
bruises on Sal's face. "He always tries it on with new people, but you
can obviously handle him. That's good he needs someone who will be firm
with him. I think he likes you."

"Well thanks for telling me," said Sal ruefully. If that's how he
treats people he likes thought Sal I'd hate to see what he does to
enemies "There is no way I can take him out in my car alone again. I'm
going to have to arrange a meeting to ask to have someone with me. We
nearly had several accidents on the way home."

Mrs Greenwood shook her head. "We've asked love, over and over again,
but Social Services say it only needs one person with the relevant
qualifications to deal with Gary. "

They talked some more and Sal explained that he needed changing.
Normally she would have offered to stay longer than she was paid for to
leave her client clean, but all she wanted to do was get home and into
a hot bath.

"Oh by the way," she said as she was leaving "I think it might be an
idea to get his feet checked. He's been complaining that his boots are
hurting him."

Mrs Greenwood laughed and for the first time Sal saw the love and pride
she had for her son that was so often masked by tiredness and
frustration.

"Oh that old trick. There's nothing wrong with his boots, he just
doesn't like wearing them so he tells anyone who will listen that his
feet are hurting." Both women laughed.

"See you on Thursday?" asked Jenny Greenwood. It was more than a
question it was a plea.

"Four o clock?"

"Perfect" smiled Jenny.

Sal worked with Gary for over two years. She fought hard and got her
extra help, and she and Gary came to understand each other well. They
still had their bad days, and sometimes Gary hit out, out of
frustration and sometimes Gary hit out, out of nothing but sheer
wickedness. Sal learned to cope and never again put herself or Gary in
a position where his unpredictability could endanger their safety. She
learned a lot that first day and a lot more over the next two
years.

Jenny Greenwood had a good barrister. Sal gave evidence for the
defence. Yes Mrs Greenwood was a good mother. One of the best Sal had
ever known she added. The only sentence Jennifer Greenwood served for
killing her son, was the one she imposed on herself. Gary had finally
become too much for her and the help offered by the local authority too
sparce.

Sal of course had other clients, other problems to deal with and find
solutions to. But sometimes, just occasionally, she would stop between
her two flights of stairs and smile. It was funny to have two flights
of stairs wasn't it?