What was this about?

It roars, it roars again, this beautiful machine. This machine that lets me posses and handle it to forget and feel eternity. Eternity in a moment of breath.

Clinging with my sighs to power of movement, power of speed. The leaning and the inside falling. Like on autopilot becoming one with metal and feeling deeply. All emotions released into self without fear of falling, knowing in all their confusion. The fight against and the surrender to inability of control.

Ahhhh, that's when the wind in my face begins to emerge with it's healing power and the little devil on my shoulder starts whispering *pull it, pull it a little bit further to the edge. Come on pull it, let go* Gladly obeying, my concentration is requested by flying through the curves...ways I have never been before.

I lean, lean again, speed on a straight shot, lean, react around some roadkill, break for traffic and pull again, speed....ahhhhhh, just a little bit, just a little bit more.

Breathing from the depth of my soul and beginning to slow down. The view, so wonderfully typical country, so real. Beautiful almost historical houses with southern living yards, the Hill Billy home with trash and a car for sale by the road side, the abandoned remainders as of what once,must have been a farm. The little hole in the wall gas station,offering cold drinks... and I begin to smile thinking of the roaches in their back room and how it's possible, for me to see it as wonderful and soothing? The rows of trees, that try to catch me but never quite make it, the deep smell of dry wood and then the smell of fresh cut grass while the farmer grins and waves a hello. The old self constructed, yet unfinished tricycle in the front yard caught my attention. Turning around to chat a little with the old man and feeling amused about his passion for this creation and my imagination of him, riding on that sports motorcycle, he claimed he has.

Tick, tick, tick, I hear my metal baby pushing me along to become one again. With no idea of where this road will take me, I let this feeling totally fill me in. Breathing with a crooked smile, finding the main road which may lead me to a well known crossroad.

HA, this thought screams almost symbolic and I had to laugh. This gift to shake my head about my own self and actually finding humor in it, it will never fade.

Those guys in their swanky car, roaring their engines next to me and bored, I let my fingers pull it, just for spite and am a mile ahead, without another look back. Ahhhh, there ya' go, the little devil says, and I indulge in this longing for speed again. Open road with only little traffic, my baby pulls me quickly into the direction of my solitude spot.

The little county airport, let me find it there as I usually do, let me find it there. As my bike breathless ticks and I fall sighing flat into the field.... I knew, this is not going to work.

My mind already typing words.So many senseless letters added into shape, so many thoughts pressing to get out.

After only one cigarette, I had to get back, back on the road, no not home, not yet, I need more, I need much more of this. This feeling of control yet looking for peace and I rode for another hour, avoiding the way that finally caught me, no matter what.

Tick, tick,tick into the garage after one last time playing clown and running it in, standing up.

Surrender to self and after a cold drink, heading for the lap top. Shaking my head, trying to gather the experience...so multifaceted ....what on earth was this about?