Why Not?

Straightening my hair, spending way more time than usual, I wonder who I'm doing this for. I mean, Dante probably won't be there and I really don't care so much about making him wish he had me anymore. I don't like anyone and I feel uncomfortable around people who DO like me. So, why the effort? I don't care what I look like.

"WE'RE LEAVING!" My mom calls from downstairs. I slip on my shoes and continue thinking of what the day holds for me. Boring school then Jasper's coming over. Today is Friday so he can stay later. That's good, I love our talks.

Shoving my backpack in the car, I'm still plagued by the question: Who am I trying to impress?

. . . . . .

I wrap the rather large, black blanket around my shoulders, tossing the corner of it over my feet. I wonder when the last time I wore matching socks was, seeing as today one is a bright pink and the other a faded orange. I look up at him. His back to the kitchen window, shadows are cast upon his face. It makes his face very dramatic, complimenting his bone structure.

The deck's furniture, one table and three chairs all with metal frames, are all freezing because of those metal frames, a nice light green color. With my horrible eyesight, everything seems black and white though, except for the faintest hints of color in thinks like my vibrant socks. Jasper, even in darkness, is cute. His strong bone structure, water blue eyes, round lips, of course she is in love with him.

Noel. Her always perfect hair, her makeup always done to a professional standard, her emo style just the kind of thing he loves. She's put together while I'm just a plain jane. And the pain she has of COURSE draws a healer like himself towards her. I fail in comparison to the beautiful, perfect Noel.

Jasper looks over at me, as if catching wind of my thoughts. At least that my thoughts were of him. He'd been staring out towards the pool until this moment. He always looked so intelligent when he was thinking. Probably because he is. He's definitely one of the smartest people his age and I love that about him.

"You're shivering." He points out after watching me try to control it for a moment. I chuckle, wrapping the blanket tighter around myself.

"Yeah, it's cold and I have the worst control over my body." I say. And then he just stares at me with the faintest hint of a smile.

I become very aware of my lips, that they're parted ever so slightly, that they're thin, that Noel's are prettier, formed to her face in a complementary way while mine are just thinly placed below my nose. He stares at me with those compelling blue eyes that even in the darkness sparkle and shine.

Jasper's been my best friend for what, 8? 9 months? He knows everything about me. He knows my past, my present, and future. Of course he doesn't see ME as the kind of girl to love. He knows my past, he knows everything. Of course not me.

I push the hair out of my face and rest my head on the chair, my hands fidgeting with each other beneath the cover of the blanket. I've been thinking these things rather a lot lately and it's got me all frazzled. Why am I thinking so much about Jasper and Noel?

"If I had a choice, I'd choose you." He tells me. Did my jaw drop? No, but I am staring at him in confusion.

"What?" My voice isn't melodic and certainly not strong. My voice is soft and timid, not confident in any way.

"If I had a choice, I'd choose you." He repeats. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A CHOICE?! I scream in my head. But, of course, I know why. Because he's in love with Noel. And he always will be. So...why did I think that? He's my best friend...

And then the answers to my questions come. Slowly, but they come.

I want Jasper. I love him. I want to hold his hand, to be held by him, I want him to wipe my tears away when I cry. I want him to touch me, to kiss me, to want me like I want him. Because I do want him.

And now my heart aches. He's destined to be with Noel while I'm destined for the life I deserve more than! I stare into those blue eyes. I suppose if I can't have him, then Noel will. I mean, I want him happy. I sigh and begin to speak but am interrupted by the sliding of the glass door.

"Time to go!" My dad calls out. Jasper offers me his hand and helps me up. I take his hand and with the other clasp the blanket around my neck.

"You're coming over tomorrow?" I ask, draping the blanket on the couch where I had first gotten it. I look at Jasper in the light. He's strikingly handsome.

"Of course." He says with a smile. Noel is very lucky. Very lucky indeed.